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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:52 am
My baby is 7.5 months old and I desperately need her to be sleeping better.
With my other kids I did the cry it out method. It was very hard but it worked.
I recently was looking into the cio method and don't think it's so healthy emotionally and I don't want to do it on this baby.
She never took a pacifier or bottle and only knows how to fall asleep nursing. It's not working anymore because she does not stay sleeping very long and she can't go back to sleep herself.
I tried patting and talking/singing to her but she gets hysterical and sits up.
I never read the baby whisperer, is that a good idea? Can someone sum it up for me?
Otherwise looking for suggestions on emotionally healthy ways to teach her to fall asleep on her own.
Thanks!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 12:17 pm
Bump
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ectomorph




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 12:34 pm
You checked for anemia and she's gaining weight well?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 12:58 pm
ectomorph wrote:
You checked for anemia and she's gaining weight well?


Yes and yes.
I don't mind nursing every few hours. I don't need her to sleep through the night because she is small (pediatrician is totally fine with her weight gain) but I do need her to go to sleep by herself after nursing and stay sleeping for more than a few minutes.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:18 pm
It recommend the book “ the happy sleeper”
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ectomorph




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:25 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes and yes.
I don't mind nursing every few hours. I don't need her to sleep through the night because she is small (pediatrician is totally fine with her weight gain) but I do need her to go to sleep by herself after nursing and stay sleeping for more than a few minutes.

Hmmmm does she sleep in car seat? Sometimes they go down better rocked in a stroller and then transferred
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:54 pm
ectomorph wrote:
You checked for anemia and she's gaining weight well?


I don’t mean to derail the thread, but how did you know to ask this? My baby was/is exactly the same way. At her 1yr visit the nurse asked some questions and says she thinks the baby is low on iron. Well we did a blood test and ended up she was anemic! Why didn’t anyone mention anything sooner? She was gaining weight (although at a slower rate than my other kids) until the two months prior where she barely gained.

Op I totally understand you! She’s 13 months now and we’re still struggling with this. It’s so hard and I feel extremely sleep deprived but not sure how to undo all this time. She’s only attached to because she refused the pacifier, a bottle, and special blanket.

Did you start solids? I always found that once they start eating solids they sleep deeper and longer periods of time.
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amother




Olive
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 2:09 pm
She has a sleeping prop and needs to fall asleep without it. It won’t be magical. If you don’t want to do cio, you can do something similar- like the Ferber method. Nothing else will really work. The way I learned it (read from a sleep training book) was imagine if you always fall asleep with a pillow and you wake up in middle of the night without it. Will you be able to fall back asleep? Probably not. Your pillow is your sleeping prop- you need it to fall asleep. If nursing is your baby’s sleeping prop then nothing will work unless she learns how to fall asleep without it. She can cry, you will go in and soothe her with your voice and hands, but ultimately she needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own.
Anon bec I’ve me toned it irl multiple times, and it always helped!
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 2:51 pm
There are many cry it out methods- extinction where you leave the baby in the room and don’t go in until the morning, or graduated extinction where parent checks on child. I read lots of sleep training books and did lots of things. My baby was not going to learn to sleep through the night without crying. That makes sense since it’s a big transition. It’s not my job to make sure my baby never cries, especially when it comes to preserving my sanity and teaching her an important skill, like being able to sleep. I am not comfortable with extinction methods but I am fine with graduated extinction since I don’t think the baby feels abandoned or ignored, just annoyed that she isn’t getting what she wants. Pm me if you want to discuss more
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 3:20 pm
I like the book Precious Little Sleep (and her blog) for sleep advice. We did a version of Ferber at around 6 months-- we let baby cry for a few minutes, then went in to soothe, increasing the time, until baby was able to fall asleep alone. I also wouldn't be comfortable with complete cry it out, but we needed to give the baby a chance to fall asleep alone.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 4:43 pm
Thank you everyone for your responses.
I know all about cio and ferber. I understand she needs to learn I just feel like there's gotta be a better way than hysterical screaming.
I did that with my other kids, I really don't want to do it this time.
Rocking in a stroller is ridiculous. She needs to sleep normally in her crib.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:00 pm
You can try the book “ no cry sleep solutions”. It was not helpful to me at all but that’s the whole premise of the book. Unfortunately my baby didn’t seem to follow their script
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:04 pm
Thanks for your book suggestions.
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tothepoint




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 8:40 pm
Checkout kinderwink.com. There’s a free guide you can download that gives you the basic guidelines for successful sleep training.

I love her method because it really makes sense and it’s very gentle. And most importantly, it works!
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agreer




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 10:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My baby is 7.5 months old and I desperately need her to be sleeping better.
With my other kids I did the cry it out method. It was very hard but it worked.
I recently was looking into the cio method and don't think it's so healthy emotionally and I don't want to do it on this baby.
She never took a pacifier or bottle and only knows how to fall asleep nursing. It's not working anymore because she does not stay sleeping very long and she can't go back to sleep herself.
I tried patting and talking/singing to her but she gets hysterical and sits up.
I never read the baby whisperer, is that a good idea? Can someone sum it up for me?
Otherwise looking for suggestions on emotionally healthy ways to teach her to fall asleep on her own.
Thanks!


That's your problem right there. You don't think so. So...what? Are you a medical professional?

It's a proven, effective technique with zero proof of causing emotional problems. Just because you don't like it or feel comfortable with it doesn't mean it's unhealthy in any way.

Believe it or not, all the other methods are basically CIO but way worse/prolongued. If you stay with your baby in the room while she's crying, you're teasing her and she'll cry longer.

At 7.5 months, your baby should take 4 nights to CIO and then you are DONE! Don't be fooled by people who guilt you into thinking it's not safe. It is.

I know people who suffer from a non-sleeping baby for 2 years and then finally do CIO. You think that's better? I don't.
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Wed, Jan 22 2020, 11:25 pm
agreer wrote:
That's your problem right there. You don't think so. So...what? Are you a medical professional?

It's a proven, effective technique with zero proof of causing emotional problems. Just because you don't like it or feel comfortable with it doesn't mean it's unhealthy in any way.

Believe it or not, all the other methods are basically CIO but way worse/prolongued. If you stay with your baby in the room while she's crying, you're teasing her and she'll cry longer.

At 7.5 months, your baby should take 4 nights to CIO and then you are DONE! Don't be fooled by people who guilt you into thinking it's not safe. It is.

I know people who suffer from a non-sleeping baby for 2 years and then finally do CIO. You think that's better? I don't.


Are YOU a medical professional who has done studies that allow you to state so confidently that CIO is safe? There aren't only two options out there, CIO or two years of no sleeping. Many, many, many people train their babies successfully using other methods. Not always is it prolonged, and the crying is almost always less than CIO. Each mother has a right to choose what she feels comfortable with.
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amother




Maroon
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 12:00 am
The No-Cry Sleep Solution (it's actually a BUNCH of solutions, not just one) worked for all my kids (at least enough to make it no longer a problem in my life).

The "Pantley Pull-Off" method specifically was a lifesaver in getting a nursed-to-sleep baby to be able to fall back asleep on their own.

In short, you nurse baby until they are ALMOST asleep, then gently break suction. Usually at first baby protests, so you latch back on, count to 10 or 20 in your head, then repeat. Continue until you or baby loses patience, or baby falls asleep. You can do this every time you put baby to sleep.

It never takes me more than a few days before baby can fall asleep without the nipple actually in their mouth, and then they don't find it as hard to fall back asleep if they wake in the middle of the night.

Another suggestion is to start incorporating patting, rubbing, shushing etc. WITH the nursing regularly, and then it might become a soothing enough activity to help baby fall back asleep even without the nursing.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:26 am
agreer wrote:
That's your problem right there. You don't think so. So...what? Are you a medical professional?

It's a proven, effective technique with zero proof of causing emotional problems. Just because you don't like it or feel comfortable with it doesn't mean it's unhealthy in any way.

Believe it or not, all the other methods are basically CIO but way worse/prolongued. If you stay with your baby in the room while she's crying, you're teasing her and she'll cry longer.

At 7.5 months, your baby should take 4 nights to CIO and then you are DONE! Don't be fooled by people who guilt you into thinking it's not safe. It is.

I know people who suffer from a non-sleeping baby for 2 years and then finally do CIO. You think that's better? I don't.


I actually spoke to a certified therapist who said he does not recommend it at all.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:26 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
Are YOU a medical professional who has done studies that allow you to state so confidently that CIO is safe? There aren't only two options out there, CIO or two years of no sleeping. Many, many, many people train their babies successfully using other methods. Not always is it prolonged, and the crying is almost always less than CIO. Each mother has a right to choose what she feels comfortable with.


Thank you.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Jan 23 2020, 3:27 am
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:
The No-Cry Sleep Solution (it's actually a BUNCH of solutions, not just one) worked for all my kids (at least enough to make it no longer a problem in my life).

The "Pantley Pull-Off" method specifically was a lifesaver in getting a nursed-to-sleep baby to be able to fall back asleep on their own.

In short, you nurse baby until they are ALMOST asleep, then gently break suction. Usually at first baby protests, so you latch on, count to 10 or 20 in your head, then repeat. Continue until you or baby loses patience, or baby falls asleep. You can do this every time you put baby to sleep.

It never takes me more than a few days before baby can fall asleep without the nipple actually in their mouth, and then they don't find it as hard to fall back asleep if they wake in the middle of the night.

Another suggestion is to start incorporating patting, rubbing, shushing etc. WITH the nursing regularly, and then it might become a soothing enough activity to help baby fall back asleep even without the nursing.


That sounds exactly like what I'm looking for. I'm going to look more in to it.
Thanks!!
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