Do your children do their own laundry?

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:45 pm

A friend just told me that the system in her home is that when children turn 12/13 they are responsible for their own laundry.
She teaches them how to sort laundry, what goes in which load, what gets dried/hung, and then they are on their own. They are responsible to keep track of their clean clothes, wash, dry, fold and put it away.
She does her and DH's and the little kids laundry.

I think this system is brilliant and plan to implement it when my children get older. It teaches kids responsibility in such a concrete way, and I don't think their personal laundry is something too difficult to entrust to a child. Plus the mother doesn't get overwhelmed with endless mountains of laundry.

What is your opinion?

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:48 pm

My kids sometimes fold laundry but I do everything else. While it is ok for kids to the their own laundry, I think it's a bit much to expect them to keep track of how much clean clothes they have left till laundry needs to get done.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:52 pm

My kids all know how to sort, and wash laundry (boys) . My 9 yr old does it with guidance as well. But it’s not their responsibility to wash their clothes. If I need a load thrown into a machine or extra assistance, it’s something I can ask them to do and they are fully capable.
My 18 yr old washes his own laundry when he comes home every other weekend from yeshiva. I do all the folding and the kids put the piles away.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:54 pm

bouncy wrote:

if you want a million half loads all day- sounds like a good idea
I let my children help with laundry (hanging up, ironing, putting away)

Not if each child has their designated laundry day. I think it's a great idea. I was 12 too. I hope I can trust my boys to do it too. I'm worried about having too much fun with soap and all the buttons...

amother

Coffee

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:54 pm

At a certain point it was our responsibility to sort it and fold it, but the actual washing my mom did everyone’s together in the massive machine instead of many tiny loads. Hand wash I had to do myself though. My kids are too young to do any of it still.

Elfrida

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:54 pm

It is good. But there would have to be some system to make sure people respected each others laundry needs. They would have to be sure not to leave clothes in the washing machine/dryer after it has finished, and no one would be allowed to dump others people clothes out if they needed the machine. And there would have to be some arrangement about who has priority after Chol HaMoed or the nine days, when everyone needs to do laundry.

So it's not just teaching laundry skills and personal responsibility. Its teaching awareness and consideration for others as well. A really brilliant idea.

ra_mom

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:55 pm

I tell a 13 year old that if they want to wear something that they have already worn that week, they should run it through the wash and make sure it's ready. I think that wets their feet enough, without overwhelming the child with adult responsibilities. I want them to have a childhood. They shouldn't have to worry that they don't have enough clothes/uniforms or underwear, but if they want to wear a special sweater two days in a row, they have to either let me know early enough or just take care of it on their own.

Camp is a great time to practice. I teach the basics beforehand and send a few travel packets of detergent. They have no need to wash on their own but automatically they see that sometimes it's worthwhile to make a load for something that they wouldn't have back in time. It's great practice, on their own initiative, without being forced into anything.

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:57 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:57 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Why? A 12 year old can look in his drawer and count how many pairs of clean socks he has left. It's great organizational skills

groisamomma

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:03 pm

In some families teens cooking is the norm. Some families have their kids do dishes and clean the kitchen. My kids don't do those chores (baking very rarely, and with friends for fun 2x/year max), so in families like ours doing their own laundry is the norm. I wouldn't call it overwhelming unless the child carries other household responsibilities on top of his/her laundry. For each of them it's less than an hour a week, whereas for me or dh it takes a few hours to get everyone's done. Yes, with a bunch of girls there are arguments about people taking out others' finished loads and leaving them wet in a basket but personal responsibility comes along with consideration for others. Dh or I help my youngest get her act together if we see her clean laundry staying in the basket too long.

banana123

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:28 pm

Starting from when they are babies I let them help with the laundry.

Babies can help with: stuffing the machine, pushing the button, pulling things out, "helping" me dump detergent, handing me clips to hang laundry.

Preschool: sorting laundry, putting it away, some folding.

Kindergarten/ 1st grade: show them which settings are used when, how much detergent for each size load, how to make sure nothing will get stuck in the door. And by that time they can put the load in, run it, and take it out.

2nd-3rd grade: reading care instructions, identifying which items are delicates and don't go in a regular load, stain treating.

Hanging: They can hang their own things easily, starting from about age 2-3. Larger items are tough, but might be doable from late elementary school.

Not sure what I'd gain (or what they'd gain) from having them do their own laundry starting from bar/bat mitzvah, as long as they help with the family laundry (which I think is much better).

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:34 pm

How is it worthwhile for each kid to do their own laundry?

That just means lots of small loads, how is it more practical than doing everyone's together?

amother

Babypink

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

And do they throw their dirty underwear and socks on the floor? Smile

amother

Seashell

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:06 pm

I don't know when my dh started to do laundry but I'm so glad he did. I was sick recently and threw up on my bed linen. He knew how to strip the linen and wash it. It was done by the time I was finished cleaning myself in the bathroom.

Iyh I am definitely planning on teaching my kids, boys and girls, how to do laundry.

groisamomma

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:10 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

And do they throw their dirty underwear and socks on the floor? Smile

No, each of our kids has their own hamper. (Colorful, to match their rooms, and make it less scary. Just kidding.)

In one week my kids generate enough laundry for a full load each so no small loads here. Sometimes they pool and will add to a sibling's load if there's room, if it's only a couple of items, etc.

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:15 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

How is it worthwhile for each kid to do their own laundry?

That just means lots of small loads, how is it more practical than doing everyone's together?

Because it is not on your head. They take care of it. You can do laundry once a week like when you were newlywed.

amother

Oak

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:28 pm

I didnt read through all messages but I can give my opinion. My 14 and 15 olds do it themselves when they see mommy just is busy with other things or they see I didnt get to it, then the'l do it on their own from their own will, but I would never put the responsibility on them that its a must if they wont follow through they wond have clean laundry. Thats too much to expect . Its always nice to teach them while mom is out or for some reason if mom couldnt keep up or catch up with it , to leave them doing it but I wouldnt put it as an daily responsibility. I just dont feel its fear , Just my thought.

Aylat

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:42 pm

My kids cook quite a bit but I tend to do all the laundry. Don't know why. Occasionally DD14 will put in a load of her own if she's let it build up and not brought her clothes to the laundry room.

amother

Beige

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:19 pm

My teen DDs have been doing their own laundry for a few years, and besides for alleviating part of my laundry burden, I think it's great for teaching them responsibility (and practical life skills).

I used to get so frustrated that my kids just threw their barely worn, clean Shabbos clothes in the hamper because it was easier than hanging them back in the closet. Besides for all the work of washing and hanging, the clothes got worn out more quickly from repeated washing. Now that they are responsible for washing themselves, they are not as quick to throw those clothes in the hamper.

Making sure they have clean clothes becomes their responsibility. No more "Mommy, you didn't wash my uniform shirts so I have nothing to wear!" ("You mean you didn't put it in the hamper so I didn't know it needed to be washed?")

My DD said the other girls in seminary were impressed that she already knew how to do laundry when she came!