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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
4 years old boy saying it hurts him
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:15 pm
So my 4 years old often tells me that it hurts him on his aiver and then I realize that he is having an erecti0n , at first I was worried if that’s normal, so I looked up on google and it said that it’s normal for boys this age to get an erecti0n and is uncomfortable till they get used to it but then it says that for boy that are circumcised is very painful bc they are missing the skin that stretches when this happens
For me The hardest mitzva I made in my life is bris milah to my sons and now hearing that now 4years latter they still have pain bc of it is so sad
Anyways should I take him to the doctor ?or is normal? Any advice of what to do when he complains that it hurts him ? Thanks !
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mom2mysouls




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:43 pm
Why don't you ask your pediatrician about it?

Having a bris is actually safer for boys. Less risk of infection. Many non Jews have it done as well.

My five boys had their bris and no pain. At that age they would sometimes comment that it annoys them when it gets erect (usually before going to bathroom) but that's part of life. Pain is not normal.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So my 4 years old often tells me that it hurts him on his aiver and then I realize that he is having an erecti0n , at first I was worried if that’s normal, so I looked up on google and it said that it’s normal for boys this age to get an erecti0n and is uncomfortable till they get used to it but then it says that for boy that are circumcised is very painful bc they are missing the skin that stretches when this happens
For me The hardest mitzva I made in my life is bris milah to my sons and now hearing that now 4years latter they still have pain bc of it is so sad
Anyways should I take him to the doctor ?or is normal? Any advice of what to do when he complains that it hurts him ? Thanks !


The hardest mitzvah you made is bris?
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:51 pm
I have multiple boys and this makes no sense. Go to a different pediatrician.

Anti bris milah agenda on the part of your pediatrician is the most likely explanation.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:52 pm
I have boys. I never heard them complain that it hurts. Have your dr check it out. He may have pain for a specific reason.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:55 pm
I have multiple boys older than that and they have never complained of this Dont know
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 10:55 pm
Was he just toilet trained? That used to happen to my son when he was holding himself from going to bathroom.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:07 pm
My 5 year old son gets erections all the time and never complains of pain.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:40 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
The hardest mitzvah you made is bris?
I made to my kids .
English is my third language
I’m sorry if you didn’t understand
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jan 30 2020, 11:40 pm
[quote="amother [ Indigo ]"]Was he just toilet trained? That used to happen to my son when he was holding himself from going to bathroom.[/quote
Yes... could be
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 12:15 am
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
My 5 year old son gets erections all the time and never complains of pain.

Same. I have several sons, and one of them (5 years) has been getting erections since he was literally a baby. Seems to like it.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 12:45 am
I have boys, and never heard of this.
I don't want to alarm, but this is a question for a doctor.
I have a friend whose son was complaining of discomfort (don't know if it was erect as well) and it turned out to be something that needed to be treated immediately. (I'm sorry I don't know what the condition was, but the nurses at the hospital said she shouldn't even have waited until after Shabbos to bring him in to be seen).
I would speak to the doctor about it as soon as possible. And if he's complaining about it now, I'd get the doctor on call on the phone.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 2:46 am
My 4 year old had pain and actually had a rash that needed balmex to go away. Is there redness in the area. He has been toilet trained for a year in a half.
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malki2




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 5:38 am
Ok, I can’t respond to all of you who have “so much experience” in this area because you “have five boys and never had any problem” so I’m just replying directly to OP.

Unfortunately, it’s possible to mess up a bris mila. And it does happen. And you don’t hear about it, because people don’t want to say LH about the mohel and destroy his parnassah. I’m not going to give a full anatomy lecture here, but the most common mess-ups are either cutting too little skin, resulting in the need for a “re-do” later in life, or, what seems to have possibly happened in your son’s case, cutting too much skin, thereby not allowing enough stretchable skin to cover the erecti0n which can be a painful condition. My advice to you is to have your son looked at by a very experienced mohel (obviously not the one who did the bris) who should be able to tell right away if something was done incorrectly by the bris. Then go see a pediatric urologist. If there is actually a problem, he should be able to recommend a course of action which could possibly involve corrective surgery.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:24 am
malki2 wrote:
Ok, I can’t respond to all of you who have “so much experience” in this area because you “have five boys and never had any problem” so I’m just replying directly to OP.

Unfortunately, it’s possible to mess up a bris mila. And it does happen. And you don’t hear about it, because people don’t want to say LH about the mohel and destroy his parnassah. I’m not going to give a full anatomy lecture here, but the most common mess-ups are either cutting too little skin, resulting in the need for a “re-do” later in life, or, what seems to have possibly happened in your son’s case, cutting too much skin, thereby not allowing enough stretchable skin to cover the erecti0n which can be a painful condition. My advice to you is to have your son looked at by a very experienced mohel (obviously not the one who did the bris) who should be able to tell right away if something was done incorrectly by the bris. Then go see a pediatric urologist. If there is actually a problem, he should be able to recommend a course of action which could possibly involve corrective surgery.

Omg thank you! That’s crazy!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:54 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Omg thank you! That’s crazy!


I agree with malki2, she's absolutely right. Unless your pediatrician is also a highly trained and respected mohel, I doubt you're going to get the best response.
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mom2mysouls




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:56 am
One of my boys actually did have surgery done for urethral meatal stenosis - the opening being too small. It has nothing to do with milah though. My pediatrician noticed when he was 5, and sent us to a pediatric urologist.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 8:57 am
Just so you know, my DS started noticing his erections for the first time around that age and he also said that it hurt. I told him it will go away by itself. In his case it wasn't pain, it was just discomfort with a new sensation. And indeed once the novelty of the situation wore off he wasn't bothered by it any more.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 9:00 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
Was he just toilet trained? That used to happen to my son when he was holding himself from going to bathroom.

Or when he’s constipated
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Fri, Jan 31 2020, 9:03 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Omg thank you! That’s crazy!

Come to think of it- My son had some discomfort too- and it was something that needed a bit of rectifying: the pediatrician gave me a numbing cream and he did a quick little procedure (he said the opening was a bit blocked) and my son was fine after
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