Women going to coed gym?

amother

Navy

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:40 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Well, if you ask educators in Brooklyn, they love teaching chasidish kids whose parents follow what you call "repressive". They are lovely kids and the parents are lovely.

I agree that they are lovely. Its repressive for ME. I don't tell other people how to live thier life.

flowerpower

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:44 am

asmileaday wrote:

Can we get back to the kokosh cake eating aishes chayil please????

Yes. Let’s do that. You’re all invited to attend my aishes chayil award presented by my dear husband (through a mechitza) . He prepared a lavish breakfast of egg white omelets fried in avacado oil, celery juice, kale/almond milk/dates/ spinach leaves smoothie, and organic salad topped with freshly squeezed lemons. He won’t be around though since he is washing up the kitchen after himself.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:44 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

My world is the chassidish world.
You're deluding yourself by saying that this doesn't go on in the chassidish world.

The last place that is deluding itself is the chasidish world.

Just look at all the shidduchim taking place. In my daughter's class, each girl got engaged to their "type" of boy, regardless who parents are.

If you are chasidish, you sound like those chasidim who disrespect chasidim who enjoy keeping their chasidishe mesorah. the likes of you love to call them " people who do not know the difference between halacha and chumra and minhag")

amother

Beige

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:45 am

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

so, just to be clear. Bec. you live in Monsey you're better, or less of a hypocrite. My kids know we have internet, they go on the internet. Nobody controls me anymore. But I assume kids are controlled the same amount in brooklyn and in monsey. Many chassidiim have internet despite the intenret asifas and the clear prohibition. So I thin that is more hypcoritical than me saying I have a completely different set of beliefs.

I dont get your point. I shoudl live somewhere where I have a bigger lawn? Soemtimes people live where they have to for work, business, etc. and lets not forget how hard it is to get kids into new chassidish institutions.

My kids do not have access to any electronics or internet. I'm not doing anything behind the schools back. I don't think I'm a hypocrite. I didn't move to Monsey to change and do as I please.
By stifled in Brooklyn I meant to say that in Brooklyn there are kol koiras on everything. A long skirt is wrong, a snood is wrong, tights must have seams & black tights is not tzenuis. In monsey, no one cares if you wear a snood or a long skirt or black stockings. You can still be chassidish and frum even if you wear a snood. I don't drive, I shave, we're a regular chassidish family. In Williamsburg, they try to control what the women wear, it's always about the women and their tzenuis. That is stifling.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:46 am

flowerpower wrote:

That sounds like food someone who goes to a coed gym would eat. Not exactly a tznius menu.

Odelyah

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:52 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

Which they don't hold by. So it's not relevant if there are maikel shittos, none of them are Chassidish.

I think it's very relevant because if, as some of the admirably honest women here of Chassidish backgrounds have shared, they struggle with keeping some of the minhagim and machmir shittos of their community, it is a very serious problem that women are often not taught hilchos tznius clearly and everything gets mixed together, halacha, chumra, minhag and even just conformity to styles and high school dress codes. It all becomes one big mush and when a girl or woman finds it to be too much it's all the same. If I can't [wear my skirts 4 inches below the knee/shave my head/drive/wear nail polish/ wear a chenille snood/ go to a mixed gym dressed modestly/ wear a fall with my hairline showing/fill in your own blank depending on your community] then it all goes out the window because it's all the same, and you wear a bathing suit at the beach when you're on vacation.

So while I genuinely respect the honesty and 100% agree that it's not all or nothing, and no one has a right to judge anyone at the beach or elsewhere, these posts also sadden me because I think that perhaps some people would make different choices if they had had a much better education. And I am not only referring to chassidish education. This is a real problem in the Bais Yaakovs as well. At least in the "in-town" type BY's. I'd like to hope that there are some exceptions.

[signed, a yeshivish limudei kodesh teacher who has followed yeshivish tznius guidelines for the last 30 years and is a mother of Bais Yaakov girls.]

amother

Navy

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:52 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

I was being a bit defensive. Moving is not in the cards right now. I hate being made to feel like a "rebel" when all I am is an adult who wants to make her own choices. So, I left mentally. apparently society doesnt let me turn in the "chassidish" membership card. For me a chassid means following the words of their rebbe. and I certainly don't. Which is why the whole "everyone has internet anyway" boggles my mind. NOt that I don't understand them. I really do. I just don't understand why I'm judged for the things that I decide is right for me, but they call ME a hypocrite.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:54 am

Odelyah wrote:

It's halacha, not that chumros and minhagim and mixed into it. The Chassidish poskim pasken differently. So it's not the way you say it is at all.

amother

Beige

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:55 am

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

As long as you stay in your community and your kids continue going to chassidish schools, you are a rebel and a hypocrite. You call it making your own choices, the community and schools call it rebellious and hypocritical. What other word is there for this?

amother

Navy

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:57 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

As long as you stay in your community and your kids continue going to chassidish schools, you are a hypocrite. What other word is there for this?

As long as your rebbe prohibits the internet and you're on here. You're a hypocrite. What other word is there for this?

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:58 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Thank you for "starting" a chasidim bashing thread.
People are complicated.
(First for the record, I do not eat out with my husband. I would not go swimming in an indoor swimming park, I would not go to Coed gym. I shave. I do not drive.)

I notice that their are fringe groups in JPF and MO and Yeshivish, not just by chasidim. They are culturally frum but having a hard time with yiddishkeit. Who am I to judge them. They keep shabos, kashrus and TH. I appreciate them as fellow Jews.

If you believe this trend is just in the chasidish world and in YOUR world everyone is enthusiastic about yiddishkeit you are deluding yourself....

This.
Almost First sensible post on this entire thread.

amother

Beige

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:58 am

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

As long as your rebbe prohibits the internet and you're on here. You're a hypocrite. What other word is there for this?

My rebba and school do not prohibit the internet.
If everyone asks a sheila about the internet for themselves, most people are told that they're allowed.

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:02 am

Odelyah wrote:

Also my oft-underappreciated Hungarian heritage won't allow me to be silent here and I need to make a PSA. Kokosh is chocolate by definition. Vanilla kokosh etc. is an oxymoron. Also it doesn't exist. But there is also makosh (poppyseed) and deosh (nuts). That is all. You may now resume your treadmill argument.

Thank you for the toichiach.
I only learn by correction. I grew up in a very Americanized Yekke family and do not really know these things. Is there a difference between babka and kokash? We did not have these things as a child and I have only been introduced to them as an adult in my more "mixed" neighborhood. Truth be told, I had never seen chulent until I was 16 and on a Shabbaton. We didn't have kugel, we had potato charlet. I have no idea what most things actually are. Always happy to learn and grow.

amother

Navy

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:04 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

My rebba and school do not prohibit the internet.
If everyone asks a sheila about the internet for themselves, most people are told that they're allowed.

so its basically about control? its prohibited in general, but if you askk totty for permission, he'll let. cool.

amother

Black

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:05 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

You're right.
The point basically is that a women that wears leggings and short sleeves and uncovers her hair in a co ed gym, cannot call herself chassidish or frum.

Chassidish? I don't think so, but maybe her chasidish rav does allow it.
Frum, yes. Did you ask her rabbi?

amother

Pearl

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 11:06 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

You're right.
The point basically is that a women that wears leggings and short sleeves and uncovers her hair in a co ed gym, cannot call herself chassidish or frum.

Don’t judge so harshly
She may be a Frum women with a temporary glitch
ETA: or whatever