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Why do we go to school?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 7:52 pm
My DS has been out of school for several months and we are about to start a new one. He really hates school and feels like it is a huge waste of time and he asks me what is the point of me going to school? Embarrassingly, I blanked. I dont have a good enough reason for him. He won't need algebra or history or social studies- he has no interest and it is boring and torturous for him especially with his ADD. He's not studious and really doesn't see the point. I know there are reasons that are good for him in the big picture but I just couldn't think of them or articulate them. Please help me formulate even for myself why it is that we send all children to school
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 7:54 pm
Sharpen his brain
& although hex the smartest boy around town,he can become even smarter
Get to know more kids as well
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:02 pm
No idea that I can think of other than social skills and nowadays thats not a given with all tje bullying.
Homeschool or unschool is the way to go
You dont have to be convinced into something. Its ok to not buy into whatever society is trying to feed you.
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IvriAnochi




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:06 pm
I honestly don’t see a point to school either except learning Torah but he can learn at home
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:06 pm
It depends on his age how I would answer. Number one reason is to have a social life and build social skills.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:08 pm
I also hated school, and asked my parents what was the point. They told me that if I didn't do well in school, I wouldn't go to a good university and get a degree and get a high paying job. And then I would be an impoverished nobody...

So despite hating school and wondering what was the point, I actually spent a lot of time in school getting a BA and then MA degree. And shortly after finishing my studies, bing offered jobs that pay about as much as my friends who skipped university made, I came to the conclusion that by and large school truly is a massive waste of time, money and creativity. Despite being a highly educated person I have to agree with your son on this one. All those years I spent in school, all those degrees- for what? Coming from Europe where at least university studies are much cheaper (government subsidised), at least I avoided student loans.

But I didn't make any more money with a degree than I could have made without one. Had I studied a 18 month course in software development (you don't need a BA for those jobs!), accounting or started my own business even, I would most likely have made much more money than I made becoming a teacher (after a couple years I left the field because I hated teaching). I never needed all that trivia they taught us in high school. And my creativity was squashed by well-meaning teachers/professors.

So if it were my son, I would agree with him and say "You're right. School IS a waste of your time and creativity. Nonetheless the government decided people have to go to school, and whether we agree with mandatory education laws, that's the game and you've just sort of got to play along until you graduate. Then can do something productive with your life and become accomplished. It's only X amount of years until then, so just try to get whatever you can out of the experience."
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:11 pm
As for developing social skills, the people I know who grew up homeschooled have the same normal quality social skills as the people I know who went to school. There are plenty of better ways to develop social skills than school, where bullying and the cookie cutter mentality is rife.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:11 pm
Boys because someone has to teach them how to learn & because they should have what to do with their day.
Girls go so they should have what to do with their day.
And because it's mandatory by the government.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:19 pm
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
As for developing social skills, the people I know who grew up homeschooled have the same normal quality social skills as the people I know who went to school. There are plenty of better ways to develop social skills than school, where bullying and the cookie cutter mentality is rife.


Social homeschoolers by and large experience lonliness in many many cases. Not in all or most, but many. Previously bullied kids or kids who never knew different mostly don't mind that part.

Writing and reading are important skills that school is supposed to put you through the paces in. Math in some forms very important skillset. The rest is just to open your mind and taste all sorts of topics.

The better question might be why is the school system built around testing and robot like not moving and following demands. Montessori and Finland seem to have a better school system.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:34 pm
amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:
Social homeschoolers by and large experience lonliness in many many cases. Not in all or most, but many. Previously bullied kids or kids who never knew different mostly don't mind that part.

Writing and reading are important skills that school is supposed to put you through the paces in. Math in some forms very important skillset. The rest is just to open your mind and taste all sorts of topics.

The better question might be why is the school system built around testing and robot like not moving and following demands. Montessori and Finland seem to have a better school system.


I’m curious whether you actually know any real, live homeschooling families.

Not to be rude, but I homeschool 6 very well-adjusted children, and we are part of a vibrant homeschool community. My children are socially busy literally every day of the week for many hours every day. We do an elaborate Purim play, a country fair, science clubs, you name it. The old stereotype of reclusive homeschoolers living in a trailer... is a joke.

Pretty sure everyone on this forum knows people who were educated in mainstream schools, and we all know some turned out socially normal, some not as much.

I don’t feel qualified to respond to OP’s post because clearly, we opted out of “the system” for now. There is no perfect system— not conventional schooling, not homeschooling— but it is certainly a silly fear to think that if your kid is out of school, s/he won’t be able to interact with peers and general society.

The old line is something like, “Teaching kids to socialize by sending them to school is like teaching them to swim by throwing them in the pool.”
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amother




Babypink
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:34 pm
School is less about the information and more to train you how to think critically... That and social skills.

I would just empathize with him. Yeah school is annoying... I totally hear u... Maybe give him a day off once I. A while. But not everything in life is super enjoyable... Going to work everyday isnt always so great... Cleaning dishes isn't always so great... How can you make this experience better for him?I have add and school was a nightmare. I started to take medication as an adult and I wish in a way I can go back and see how diff I could have been. I feel like I could have learned more and enjoyed it sooooo much more.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:36 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
I’m curious whether you actually know any real, live homeschooling families.

Not to be rude, but I homeschool 6 very well-adjusted children, and we are part of a vibrant homeschool community. My children are socially busy literally every day of the week for many hours every day. We do an elaborate Purim play, a country fair, science clubs, you name it. The old stereotype of reclusive homeschoolers living in a trailer... is a joke.

Pretty sure everyone on this forum knows people who were educated in mainstream schools, and we all know some turned out socially normal, some not as much.

I don’t feel qualified to respond to OP’s post because clearly, we opted out of “the system” for now. There is no perfect system— not conventional schooling, not homeschooling— but it is certainly a silly fear to think that if your kid is out of school, s/he won’t be able to interact with peers and general society.

The old line is something like, “Teaching kids to socialize by sending them to school is like teaching them to swim by throwing them in the pool.”


Not all mothers are like you. You created an equal environment of social life. That's not by everyone. Some don't and some can't. And I have heard this is more of a high school problem than if younger ages.
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tigerwife




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:53 pm
Do you really think education is worthless? My child is so young and already learns so much everyday. I didn’t love school as a child but every day I was bathed in information and absorbed plenty that I remember till today. Knowledge is power. Learning isn’t always fun, but it’s mighty useful.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:54 pm
I homeschooled and found the politics and dependence between the families of the homeschoolers to be way too intense, because everyone is exhausted from entertaining and educating their own children all day, and desperate for others to contribute to their children's socialization needs. If a child lacks social skills, he will be bullied or left out by the other homeschoolers, just like in a conventional school. Homeschool cannot provide numbers of children all interested in the same things, whether sports, dramatics, chess, etc, like school provides, so the homeschooled lack in these extracurricular areas, unless their parents pay for them to take classes with secular children. School provides teachers that are skilled in their particular subject area, and no one parent is proficient in Judaic and all of secular studies...I can go on...
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 9:00 pm
Because Mommy needs a break Hiding
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amother




Taupe
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 9:04 pm
School gave me opportunities to learn many life skills. Some of which I may have learned in other environments, and some of which are unique to the school setting. Those skills mostly come into play in terms of my relationships and career today.
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TwinsMommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 9:04 pm
you didn't mention his age. At 16 or 17 or whatever age where you live, if it's no longer illegal to stop, stopping completely (not homeschooling) is a valid option. He could go learn in Yeshiva all day or get a job or get a GED or whatever. Other than that though, it's school or homeschool. It's not everyone's favorite thing, that's for certain. There is a version of homeschooling called unschooling though that might suit his fancy.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 13 2020, 11:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He won't need algebra or history or social studies- he has no interest and it is boring and torturous for him especially with his ADD. He's not studious and really doesn't see the point. I know there are reasons that are good for him in the big picture but I just couldn't think of them or articulate them.

Algebra is useful in many ways in real life. For how many months should I take out a mortgage? Is it better in the long run to opt for a lower down-payment and a longer payout period, or a higher initial payment and a shorter mortgage? I've got to paint my home; this paint covers 100 Sq ft per can and that paint covers 120 Sq ft per can, but requires 2 coats. The first can costs $45/gallon, etc.

History is useful because it helps you understand the present, helps you appreciate why things are the way they are now, gives you insight into the future.

Learning Torah is a tremendous priority, but if it done to the exclusion if all else, you can be a Torah scholar who is culturally ignorant and can't budget a household.

Not every person will become such an amazing scholar that he can bank on never needing those other skills.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Fri, Feb 14 2020, 4:42 pm
to keep kids out of our hair.
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