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Forum
-> Household Management
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amother
White
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 Sun, Feb 23 2020, 4:48 pm
| Mommyg8 wrote: | We'd all rather be rich than poor... but for me there's that sweet spot in the middle that I'm aiming for (didn't get there yet!).
I have a pretty decently sized house because I live in an area where space is pretty cheap, and tbh my house is quite big enough, I don't need 8,000 square feet. (I'm actually looking forward to the day I can downsize. Either that or hire a full time maid).
I feel like there's a lot of negatives that come with an uber sized house and wealth such as inflated expectations from others, the need to be a size 2 and look like a Barbie doll at all times, the need to keep your home immaculate, the lack of privacy if you do have lots of cleaning help, and of course the jealousy of others.... And besides, you don't even know if the owners of the uber-sized house are really wealthy or are on the verge of foreclosure....
No thanks, I wouldn't mind being comfortable and having enough money for what I need (are you listening, G-d?), but I'm not sure I'm really interested in the high maintenance lifestyle. |
OP would really freak if she knew about the person who’s know building a huge mansion on bedford ave and ave M Brooklyn, on 5(I think) lots that he bought together. I can’t Imagine what you need 5 lots together for but someone told me indoor swimming pools etc
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leah233
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 5:00 pm
| amother [ Purple ] wrote: | Have you considered that maybe they are trying to avoid an eiyin harah?
Quite a few people here are coming across as jealous and seem not to wish them well. |
I'm not saying they aren't but it is quite ironic to hear people who live very ostentatious lifestyles talk
about eiyin harah. Or make fun of other people for being too materialistic.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 5:02 pm
Its funny I wasnt imagining that these people have tons of problems we cant see, nor was I so focused on the jealousy- "I wish I could have that" aspect. I was more just curious as to what these homeowners think about having such big houses. Like do they know their house is huge and gorgeous or do they think its normal? Do they think its funny they have whole complete rooms they dont really use ? or do they think its normal to have that?
I imagine the music room sits empty unless someone wants to play piano or st...
The house I went to this past shabbos - the people did not seem to have any real issues. they had 3 kids, all healthy. husband and wife laughed and smiled alot , it was very relaxed. They are at that spot where they have a huge house but not SOO huge that they are community people in the sense that they have a responsibility to the klal. They live their own life. They did have guests there sleeping over who didnt eat with us, that they were hosting for a neighbors simcha and I imagine they probably host guests a lot but not in a community way.
On zillow I was able to see that they bought their house actually for very cheap! over 25 years ago, and they must have done extensive renovations since then but it doesnt necessarily mean they are super rich.They didnt have any maids on shabbos that I saw, but Im guessing they do have a lot of cleaning help during the week. but I was actually surprised at how cheap they bought it, I guess prices 25 years ago are different then now. Nowadays a home that size on that street goes for over 1.5 million..
They really were just an average regular family with just way too much house that I was simply flabbergasted at.
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amother
Purple
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 7:41 pm
I will say that I have too much house. I never expected SIF and to have a tiny family. I expect my house to be filled and noisy. I didn't expect a change in our financial situation where I would need to work the hours that I do and not to entertain both for Shabbos guest/host for others simchas, and hold events in my home- I am both not home to do it, nor do I have the cleaning help. But I am sure people judge me, and I am sure that many people are jealous and given me an ayin harah in my newer construction large house.
I would love to downsize, but I feel like I have lost so much already, should I also give up my dream house? And then, do I move away and lose my friends, job and community (and uproot my child) or do I live in a lousy house in my neighborhood and watch someone else have the precived life I wanted and family I wanted in the house I built?
No response necessary. My questions are rhetorical and used to illustrate a point. I have no interest in your opinion or pity.
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#BestBubby
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 7:58 pm
They say Rothschild used to lay down in a coffin to remind himself, after 120, one lives
in a tiny box - no matter how rich one was.
The only things you can take with you are Torah and Mitzvos. 
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#BestBubby
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 7:59 pm
| amother [ Purple ] wrote: | I will say that I have too much house. I never expected SIF and to have a tiny family. I expect my house to be filled and noisy. I didn't expect a change in our financial situation where I would need to work the hours that I do and not to entertain both for Shabbos guest/host for others simchas, and hold events in my home- I am both not home to do it, nor do I have the cleaning help. But I am sure people judge me, and I am sure that many people are jealous and given me an ayin harah in my newer construction large house.
I would love to downsize, but I feel like I have lost so much already, should I also give up my dream house? And then, do I move away and lose my friends, job and community (and uproot my child) or do I live in a lousy house in my neighborhood and watch someone else have the precived life I wanted and family I wanted in the house I built?
No response necessary. My questions are rhetorical and used to illustrate a point. I have no interest in your opinion or pity. |
I hope you don't mind if I Bless you that your home should be filled with more children and
lots of grandchildren in the future.
My SIL's mother was an only child - but she had 15 children, Blie Ayin Horah.
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amother
Purple
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:20 pm
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Thank you. I will gladly take that bracha for grandchildren. At a certain age and after many repeated late term miscarriages, one no longer hopes to be pregnant, one panics when their period is late.
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amother
Coffee
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:30 pm
My whole apartment is as big as my parents dining room. I don't mind. In fact I love my cozy lived in apartment. I love that my kids are always in view and that the kitchen is the center of the home and that there is so little to clean.
I would never want a high maintenance house/lifestyle. Now more money, that I wouldn't mind. But even though we have very little and we manage to put exactly $0 per month in savings, we have more money than my parents. Believe it or not.
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ROFL
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:31 pm
| amother [ White ] wrote: | | OP would really freak if she knew about the person who’s know building a huge mansion on bedford ave and ave M Brooklyn, on 5(I think) lots that he bought together. I can’t Imagine what you need 5 lots together for but someone told me indoor swimming pools etc |
I have to drive by and check this out !!!
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amother
Purple
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:36 pm
| ROFL wrote: | | I have to drive by and check this out !!! |
I'm sorry, mind your own business. Let them enjoy what they have. They don't need your nosiness or ayin harah.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:37 pm
| amother [ Purple ] wrote: | | One word, jealousy. |
Help me understand, why isn’t someone jealous of the person with 10 healthy children?
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STMommy
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:38 pm
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The two people I know who live in huge mansions davka bought their houses in order to do chesed out of them. One family runs multiple clothing gemachs and hosts guests. Another family has an actual ballroom in their house which is used by every organization you can think of for parlor meetings, parties, events, shiurim, etc. The people who live there say all the time that they only bought the house to use for tzedakah.
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amother
Purple
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:46 pm
| amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote: | | Help me understand, why isn’t someone jealous of the person with 10 healthy children? |
Who says people aren't.
Don't people not count grandchildren?
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amother
Khaki
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:16 pm
| amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote: | | Help me understand, why isn’t someone jealous of the person with 10 healthy children? |
I am. Very.
Fancy homes...nahah
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amother
Ecru
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:41 pm
| amother [ White ] wrote: | | OP would really freak if she knew about the person who’s know building a huge mansion on bedford ave and ave M Brooklyn, on 5(I think) lots that he bought together. I can’t Imagine what you need 5 lots together for but someone told me indoor swimming pools etc |
Woah, so nosy. Omigosh, this is totally not up my ally. Why do people think it's normal to "hock" about someones big house being built??
I just don't get it.
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mig100
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:43 pm
| amother [ Ecru ] wrote: | Woah, so nosy. Omigosh, this is totally not up my ally. Why do people think it's normal to "hock" about someones big house being built??
I just don't get it. |
I'm not nosy. Though I do think when you build a house for that your sort of asking for attention
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amother
Linen
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:58 pm
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Not sure if I qualify for living in a huge house but my house is pretty large. 7 bedrooms. 4.5 bathrooms. We are a family of 4. My house stays clean because I have cleaning help and we are very clean people. Yes when my house was brand new and kids would scratch the floors and walls it would bother me but now I am over it because it’s a house and meant to be lived in. We are young and can afford it because family bought it for us. My husband is a professional and I am a stay at home mom. Toys are in closets. And in the basement. Bh I feel much better living here than I did in my very small apt but I am suffering a lot right now for heath issues and other issues and the big nice house doesn’t help with that unfortunately. I wish you all the best and iyh all your dreams should come true and you should have a house that you can afford and are happy living there
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amother
Linen
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:58 pm
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And part of the reason for the large house is because we don’t live near any family and host family often.
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Librarian
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:01 pm
| amother [ Purple ] wrote: | | Thank you. I will gladly take that bracha for grandchildren. At a certain age and after many repeated late term miscarriages, one no longer hopes to be pregnant, one panics when their period is late. |
Yes! Exactly! I don't think many people understand this. My rav gave me heter for birth control as soon as I asked!
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Librarian
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Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:06 pm
| amother [ Emerald ] wrote: | | I don't care. Give me complaints, responsibilities, whatever. Just give me MONEY ans a BIG house.... |
My husband likes to joke "Marbeh ksofim, marbeh daygos - HKBH, I already have the daygos so please give me the kesef!
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