What are people doing about Family Smachot in NY

amother

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:20 pm

I'm really getting scared.

My niece's wedding is in NY tomorrow. I'm in NJ. Should I go to wedding? Should I go for Shabbos?

What are people doing in these situations?

My father told me if it weren't his granddaughter he wouldn't go. Not even for a niece or nephew.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:29 pm

If I was over fifty and/or had health concerns (asthma, high blood pressure, heart/lung issues, obesity) I would probably avoid, or at the very least stay away from other people and not touch anything (including food)...if I had to, I guess I'd really only attend the chuppah (and NOT the shmorg).

An expert on the Joe Rogan podcast the other day stated that COVID-19 is effectively airborne, which makes sense given the rate of transmission in New Rochelle, and you really can't count on every wedding guest being cautious enough to ensure they're not infecting others.

amother

Olive

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:36 pm

in my family we are being reckless and unconcerned. we have a family simcha in NY and I am the only one that voiced concern over the fact that my, over age 70 parents with health issues who live a few hours away would be coming. My parents also voiced concern- but my siblings assured them that its no big deal and they would "take care of them"
Im not sure how my incredibly selfish siblings plan on holding back the virus.

essie14

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:40 pm

I would not go. People are not being responsible. I don't trust anyone - people are openly flouting their quarantine.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:41 pm

My family is having a wedding
On Sunday a lot of people are cancelling
Some family members are asked not to come
The grandmother of the groom has to fly and is probably not coming she is in her eightys the bride side won’t cancel
My husbands not going I don’t want my kids to go some might be going and some are not
The brides side does not want to cancel family with children flew into ny for the wedding and will be quarantined when they return
Self quarantined
400 guest are on the list

amother

Olive

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

btw OP how old are you? and do you have any direct contact with anyone over age 50 or 60? Because if you are young and dont have any older relatives then then I would go.

amother

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:44 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

btw OP how old are you? and do you have any direct contact with anyone over age 50 or 60? Because if you are young and dont have any older relatives then then I would go.

I'm in my 40's. I have had mild seasonal asthma but am currently okay.

My father is in his 70's and lives not far from me. I see him all the time. He has no particular health issues B"H....

I have a sibling who is 1 1/2 years post chemo. I see her every day. We don't really know how good her immunity is right now.

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A lot of smachot are being postponed.

When they're not, precautions are being taken. No hugging, kissing or shaking hands. All food is served by staff, wearing gloves, so that there aren't germs being spread via the tongs.

I would go at least for the chuppa. If I had any health vulnerabilities, I would not dance by holding hands. (If your parents do, douse their hands with sanitizer immediately afterwards.)

Mazel tov.

amother

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 4:01 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Thanks, I think I'm going to go with the no-touching rule in my family.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 4:12 pm

In Israel there has been a ban put out, but the ministry of health, that there is not allowed to be any gathering of more than 100 people. Some bat mitzvahs that my daughter was invited to in the near future have been cancelled. I know a wedding cant be cancelled, but I would assume many guests will think twice before going and the guest list will dwindle. Just be smart and think about your health.

amother

Olive

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 4:18 pm

just curious , would you advise a dating couple to get engaged now and have a vort? or postpone getting engaged? or get engaged but postpone their engagement party?

HonesttoGod

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 5:51 pm

I have a wedding on Sunday I am only going for a few minutes, won't shake hands or hug/kiss anyone and then lots of handgel afterwards.

Protecting as best I can.

Learning

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 5:56 pm

People should get married. Just have everything small. A small wedding less than 100. Preferably outside.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:59 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Would the Chassan & kallah even want to cancel? I can’t imagine.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:00 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

People are pushing off weddings?

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:01 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

just curious , would you advise a dating couple to get engaged now and have a vort? or postpone getting engaged? or get engaged but postpone their engagement party?

You never push off getting engaged. It’s brought down in the Gemara you even get engaged during the 9 days. That’s why I’m shocked ppl are talking about pushing off weddings what chassan & kallah want to push off.

lilies

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:01 pm

Learning wrote:

People should get married. Just have everything small. A small wedding less than 100. Preferably outside.

Who woulda thunk a virus would be the solution to crazy wedding expenses?!?