So sad I will be in quarantine alone :(

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Forum -> Coronavirus Health Questions

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amother

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 10:50 pm

I know alot of you are dreading having to be home with your kids for weeks. I just want to say I am dreading being home by myself for weeks.
Ive been waiting 15 years to have kids. Still dont have any. I will be spending the quarantine alone. Literally alone. (My husband is in the medical field. The only time I see him is when he is fast asleep after exhausting shifts. otherwise he is gone and out of the house.) To me being home with kids is a dream come true. I am so so jealous of all of those who have a houseful of kids to entertain. for me all I have is terrifying silence and empty walls to stare at. My work was my life. It was the only thing that kept me going by day. To get out of the house. Now that my work has been canceled I am faced with the terrifying reality of losing my will to live. As is, I am holding on by barely a thread. Whenever I feel like ending it all I would go to work and come home feeling a bit better. Now I dont have that and I dont know how I'll manage.

Why is it that for some people raising kids is so hard and all they can complain about is having to be stuck with their kids and yet Hashem blessed them with a houseful? and for me being stuck at home with a house full of kids is a dream come true and I am not blessed with any?

(I raised foster kids for a few years so I know what its like to raise kids- its not like I have no idea what its like and therefore "think" it sounds like a dream when in reality its not. to me being home with kids really is a dream come true and being with children comes naturally and easily to me.)

I wish wish wish I had kids to be stuck at home with. I am so so terrified of being home alone for the next few weeks.

202

flmommy

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 10:58 pm

Sending you hugs. Thanks for helping put the situation into perspective. I hope quarantine will pass quickly for everyone.

imasinger

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 10:58 pm

There's always another perspective we haven't considered. Thanks for sharing yours!
Are you talking about actual quarantine, or staying safe but not likely infected?

I just was reading an article in Atlantic about what is social distancing and how to be safe. One person said that you can make a "family" of two households, and that as long as both limit their connection to the wider world, they can be there for each other.

Perhaps there's some overwhelmed family that would be delighted to connect in that way with you, to the benefit of all?

amother

Smokey

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 10:59 pm

That must be really difficult makes my heart break thinking about you. Wish I could say something that would make it easier for you.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:01 pm

I'm so sorry you are going through this op. I dont either understand why ppl complain about being home with their kids . Hashem should bless you with bracha , simcha and children iyh.

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:01 pm

I’m so sorry! Your pain sounds so hard! Sending you comfort- and be’h you should be blessed with a healthy family soon. (And just wanted to make sure you’ve reached out to ATIME and bonei Olam

Growing

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:02 pm

OP just chiming in to send you virtual hugs
I can't think of anything else to say
May the One Above infuse you with renewed vigor, a will to live, and bless
you with children of your own real soon

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:03 pm

imasinger, that was my thought too. OP I hope you can find someone to connect with and that Hashem will send you a yeshua b'korov!

trixx

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:04 pm

I wish I lived in a house with a spare bedroom I would invite you to come nanny - is that at all possible? Bunking in with family?

amother

Maroon

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:07 pm

trixx wrote:

I wish I lived in a house with a spare bedroom I would invite you to come nanny - is that at all possible? Bunking in with family?

I don’t think being a nanny is quite what the op is longing for. Besides she has a husband.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:18 pm

Sending hugs Hug

reading this has totally changed my perspective so thank you.

hodeez

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:22 pm

I'm so sorry you're absolutely right. It's like complaining about having too much money. Wishing you a nechama

amother

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:27 pm

trixx wrote:

I wish I lived in a house with a spare bedroom I would invite you to come nanny - is that at all possible? Bunking in with family?

dont have any family nearby. and I dont feel comfortable in other peoples houses for more than a day.
also I am very sensitive to not being the town nebech. So to me offering to someone to come help them with their kids is basically like saying, I am the nebech with no kids so can I please come help you with yours cuz I am so pathetic?
No thank you.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don’t think it’s saying that at all. But helping someone else with their kids is not the same... sending hugs and your way. You sound like an incredible person and I hope you get to raise children someday soon iyh.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

.

Im so sorry for your pain.

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:45 pm

I know you mean it nicely but a response like that only serves to add pain to op and add to her feeling of being isolated and not a part of frum society. You may want to edit it. I say this as respectfully as I can.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:48 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

.

So sorry, not my intentions. Should I delete? I wanted to speak honestly from the other side that its not as easy as it appears.

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:50 pm

Yes I think that would be wise. Thank you for your sensitivity.

amother

Fri, Mar 13 2020, 12:39 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

.

So sorry, not my intentions. Should I delete? I wanted to speak honestly from the other side that its not as easy as it appears.

I didnt read your post before you deleted it (Thank you black for having her delete I dont think I could have handled it based on what was written here)
... not as easy as it appears?
Its very very easy for me. I have said it- I raised kids for a few years. I know what it involves. some people naturally have the right personality for raising kids and dont find it hard at all. It depends how much patience you have, how much tolerance for mess and noise etc.

I understand that for some people its hard because they dont have as much patience or chaos tolerance etc. I dont discount that. I do understand that it can be really hard to be home for weeks with kids with nothing to do. all I wanted to say was that the flip side- being all alone can be even harder.

amother

Peach

Fri, Mar 13 2020, 6:11 am

imasinger wrote:

. One person said that you can make a "family" of two households, and that as long as both limit their connection to the wider world, they can be there for each other.

Not for OP. Her husband has contact with countless people.

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