S/o kvetching | Imamother

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 11:14 am

When I hear ppl kvetching my immediate reaction is "I'm so grateful that I am coping" or "I'm grateful that I don't have these problems" on the other hand when I see ppl. Putting other ppl down on this forum I quickly log off. let's work on compassion.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 11:19 am

I think kvetching can fill an emotional need. If you're not a kvetcher, don't start, but if you are, you know what I mean. It doesn't mean you think your problems are so bad compared to anyone else's, you just want someone to hear you. I think kvetching is ok. We're not even always taking ourselves seriously when we kvetch. Although I find that the more the listener belittles the kvetch, the more serious the kvetcher tends to get about it.

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 3:26 pm

singleagain wrote:

I know for myself. Sometimes I have to scream about all the stupidness. Then I can deal with it. If I keep it in...it would be worse.

That's really unfair to others. I call that vomiting. Ppl aren't vomiting pails. Journal. Call a friend. Don't spread negtivity.,

singleagain

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 3:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That's really unfair to others. I call that vomiting. Ppl aren't vomiting pails. Journal. Call a friend. Don't spread negtivity.,

I do call a friend. I say "I need to vent at you, so I can continue to work" it's me taking care of my mental health. I do very little social media. But for some people they do tons of social media and that's their outlet. I don't tell them not to use their outlet. I simply block or choose to unfollow.

When you start telling other ppl how to do things bc it affects you. Then you are the snowflake.

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 3:32 pm

singleagain wrote:

There are two ways to share on social media.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 3:40 pm

So we are from now on ONLY allowed to be positive and sunshiney to friends? Any conversation that is not chirpy and upbeat is verboten?

First we have a thread complaining that people post happy sweet family moments on Instagram and Facebook, and then we have a thread stating that people may only share warm fuzzy thoughts.

We're people. That means that we may have a day when a million small things are going wrong, and we want a friend to validate our stress. Then we can move on and laugh about the funny moments, and philosophize about how minor it is in the greater scheme of things.

We also might have days where we are able to ignore all of the hard parts and be grateful for the fact that things aren't worse.

And we might have days that things ARE worse, and we STILL choose to kvetch about the small things instead of talking about the big ones.

All are fine, and as part of being a supportive community, we can allow everyone their feelings.

If you want to segregate threads, or request trigger warnings, I hear you, but it isn't really fair to shut other people down because you don't consider their pain, concerns, or fears "big enough" to count.

singleagain

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 3:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

There are two ways to share on social media.

And I can share in social media however I want. Just like you can share however you want. And whoever doesn't like it can unfollow me.

Stop dictating the other other ppl live.

Rappel

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 3:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That's really unfair to others. I call that vomiting. Ppl aren't vomiting pails. Journal. Call a friend. Don't spread negtivity.,

OP, I happen to agree with you - it would be nice if more people here wrote about the good things in their lives. But conversations like that are often punished - a bunch of Debbie downers here will jump on any positive thread and say that is insensitive to "some poor, unfortunate souls," and those threads often get heated, and then locked.

So talk about the nice things in your life. Ask people to post about their cute kids, or the fun date they had with their husbands. I'll back you up. But please don't start threads where you hate on what other people are posting - it's spreading negativity. Tongue Out

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:19 pm

Rappel wrote:

You are just paraphrasing my OP. Read it again. Anyways my new kabolahn is not to posted anything. If I do I need to punish myself. Still working on appropriate punishment Smile