Lending Bris Outfit - should I??

amother

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 11:56 am

My sil is making a bris out of town and wants to borrow my sons stunnung, very expensive bris outfit that I got as a gift. I dont feel like lending it, especialy out of town.... I cant bring myself to say no either. What should I do?? what would you do?
(anon in case my sil sees this post... embarrassed

)

mumoo

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:03 pm

are you worried it'll come back needing cleaning and repairing or that it won't come back at all? can you say "I would never lend this to just anyone, but I know you'll take good care of it and I trust you" letting her know you'll be watching and expect it back perfect?

or do you just not want anyone else's baby in the outfit?

technic

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:04 pm

dunno - can u say sthing like normally u have no prob lending things out but this has special sentimental value 4 u and ud prefer not 2 - and is there anything else shed like instead (have a specific suggestion in mind, so that she can see that ur not avoiding lending bichlal...)

amother

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:07 pm

im worried about getting it back and the condition. I would tell her, but she didnt ask me directly, my mil who is going tomorow -asked if I can send it over so she can take it, that my sil asked her to bring it if she can.... should I just call up my sil and tel her? wasnt so nice that she didnt cal to ask herself....

Tamiri

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:30 pm

Just say no. It's sentimental, you are saving it for generations to come and you don't want it to leave your house. Offer to buy another one as a birth present, if they want.
It could be that MIL suggested it to SIL, and that is why there was no direct connection between you two....

greenfire

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:30 pm

there are 2 sides ... babies can make it dirty - is it easily washable ...
sentimental value - if they forget to give it back ...
are you going too - can you bring it back after the bris ...
or simply say no ... but how silly will that seem if your other babies are all girls ... What

why did she just assume - or perhaps it was 1 thing less for her to think of since mil offered ...

justanothermother

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:43 pm

It's hard to find a stunning bris outfit out of town. She probably thinks it is no big deal for you since you are in town and able to get one easily. Explain to her or your MIL the sentimental value.

lamplighter

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 1:49 pm

is she or ur mil irresponsible? otherwise whats the big deal? U can explain its value to u and insist that it be taken in hand luggage, and cleaned/repaired right away. any normal/regular person would return it (what do u mena left there? y would it be?) and in the condition tehy recieved it especially if u made that specific request before hand.

I guess I'm teh minority but I do think it's rude to just say no or explain the sent value. either make up an excuse (like the lost idea) or offer to help them find another, buy another etc.

amother

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 1:51 pm

Am I the only one thinking Big Deal its only an outfit! How much can it already cost $100-$150. She is your SIL After all

chavs

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 2:13 pm

Personally I would think that it would be nice to lend it to her, since we are talking about your nephew, not some random persons child. What is the worst that can actually happen to the outfit? spit up does come of, and I would hope no one would spill anything on the baby, and if they did I would be more concerned for the baby then the clothes.

amother

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 2:39 pm

It's yours. You have a right to say no.

Does anyone actually pay attention to what the baby is wearing? What's a nice bris outfit look like anyway?

Mama Bear

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 2:46 pm

in my circles we just borrow froma gmach, because after the bris the baby comes right home anyway and is changed into smoething more comfortable. t's probablythe equivalent of a 'vach nacht outfit', where our babies wear the prettiest light blue knits possible Smile

. I got mine as a gift but I've gladly lent it already to a sil and a sister.

Ruchel

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 2:56 pm

greenfire wrote:

would someone really spend $100 for a bris outfit shock

...

oh I need to make a thread on that!

Squash

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 2:59 pm

for my first son we borrowed an outfit from a g'mach. then my mother bought us a beautiful white knits o/f that came with a matching hat and socks for the pidyon haben, which we've subsequently used for our next three sons' bris. by now, yes, it does have a lot of sentimental value. however, I have lent it and would lend it again to family members, no p. just state very clearly that you want it back.

(as a side note: I've learnt - yeah, the hard way - that when lending an article of clothing that I care a lot about and want back in great condition, to ask the person specifically NOT to wash it before she gives it back. I have my own way of washing certain things and then if it gets ruined I have noone to be mad at but myself)

jemappelle

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 5:40 pm

bris outfits (ie white knits etc) can be quite expensive. received mine from my aunt as a gift. son wore it for bris & pidyon, second son wore it for his bris.... I totally understand your reluctance to loan it out....after both brisim it had wine+blood (+pee) on it which came out. I did lend ours to a friend of my husbands though and b"h it was a good experience, returned in perfect condition.

amother

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 3:16 am

Op here. thanx guys - I decided to be the nice sil and make a kimpeturin happy. I sent it... keeping my fingers crossed till I get it back...