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DD is too comfortable using my phone

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:12 pm
DD is 10 years old. I guess with all of the staying home now etc, things are changing. She is a great kid b'h. lately she started just using my phone and scrolling thru my pics. she somehow learned my password and knows how to do it. I'm not a very strict mom but I do set boundaries. She is my oldest and we have a close and friendly relationship. But I dont feel like walking into the kitchen and finding her on my phone. I told her she cant use it without asking me. But she does. I feel bad and not sure how to handle it. I tried explaining that its unfair to look at other ppls stuff, everyone needs their privacy, but not sure how to proceed from there. Do I keep my phone on me all the time? Do I become very strict? I dont want to hurt her too much! I also wanna point out that I'm extremely careful with other ppls privacy. I never look at my husband's phone without permission. I dont even read dd's diary without permission. I never open mail that's not addressed to me and I try to point it out from time to time so that my kids see how important it is.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
TIA!
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amother




Pewter
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:17 pm
change the password on your phone.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:17 pm
You can install apps lock. It puts a password on each app. It's, a little annoying, but I used to do it so my kids could use my phone, but not see things without my permission.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:17 pm
I don’t understand

If you don’t want your kid(s) on your phone without your permission don’t leave it around. Keep it in your pocket. And why haven’t you changed the password?

Sounds to me like your sending her mixed messages and you are making it about trust: as if you should be able to trust her not to use it just because you told her not to. That’s nice if it would work but it’s not. Time to up the ante.
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:18 pm
I have a 10 yr old son who does the same.

I changed my password and told him that it is mine and he is not allowed to use it without my permission.
End of story.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:19 pm
Obviously change the password. Or do the thumbprint or eye recognition password so only you can open the phone.
I keep my phone in my room, it's never within my kids reach. My kids know that they may not touch it.
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giselle




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:20 pm
She shouldn’t know your password. I let my kids use my phone almost whenever they want, but I have to unlock it for them.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:25 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
I don’t understand

If you don’t want your kid(s) on your phone without your permission don’t leave it around. Keep it in your pocket. And why haven’t you changed the password?

Sounds to me like your sending her mixed messages and you are making it about trust: as if you should be able to trust her not to use it just because you told her not to. That’s nice if it would work but it’s not. Time to up the ante.


Yes!! That’s exactly it! Trust is the number one priority in my chinuch!
I really appreciate ur advice, I wudnt mind a calmer tone though! I didnt rob a bank! I’m simply seeking advice😉
I know I can change the password, but for that I dont have to seek advice on the forum. The reason I asked is cuz there r some really smart and creative moms up here and I wud love to hear some solid advice!
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes!! That’s exactly it! Trust is the number one priority in my chinuch!
I really appreciate ur advice, I wudnt mind a calmer tone though! I didnt rob a bank! I’m simply seeking advice😉
I know I can change the password, but for that I dont have to seek advice on the forum. The reason I asked is cuz there r some really smart and creative moms up here and I wud love to hear some solid advice!


What is more "solid advice" and common sense than obviously changing the password and keeping the phone away from her?? It's such an easy fix! You don't need us to tell you that. No need to get more creative than this.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:30 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
What is more "solid advice" and common sense than obviously changing the password and keeping the phone away from her?? It's such an easy fix! You don't need us to tell you that. No need to get more creative than this.


I guess we dont speak the same language 😉
Thanks for ur input anyways

Sorry if I come across as arrogant but it irks me when ppl just get onto the forum and start answering innocent questions with so much ammunition.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:32 pm
Why you being so mean to op all she asked was an innocent question?

Op
Change your password that’s what I would do if I were you.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:33 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Why you being so mean to op all she asked was an innocent question?

Op
Change your password that’s what I would do if I were you.


Thank u!❤️
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:36 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Why you being so mean to op all she asked was an innocent question?

Op
Change your password that’s what I would do if I were you.


I really don’t think I was being mean!
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:38 pm
Some things are too tempting to rely on trust.
Every human being has that on some level. A phone being too tempting for a kid is very normal. Don’t stress Smile
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amother




Pewter
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:42 pm
OP - Privacy includes private passwords. You can teach her this, and your message remains clear. We have some responsibility for own own privacy.
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JG845




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 11:44 pm
I hear you. My kids use it all the time. Nothing there to hide. Just wait, in the not to distant future your children will have their own phones 😃 then enjoy trying to stay on.top what they are into doing 😃
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