Help me stop drinking pleeease

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Coronavirus Health Questions

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Fri, May 15 2020, 1:32 am

Since I’m home quarantined I started drinking wine every night. One two or three f
Glasses. I feel it the next day and it’s not good. I had corona two weeks before Pesach and I’m so exhausted all the time.

amother

Red

Fri, May 15 2020, 1:40 am

Uh oh. Be careful or you’re headed for a real problem.

CiCi

Fri, May 15 2020, 1:50 am

The only way you can stop drinking is not to have alcohol in the house, period. You need to stop buying, and not let anyone else buy or being in any alcohol into your home. You can only have grapejuice for kiddush.

ora_43

Fri, May 15 2020, 3:29 am

What is it that drinking is doing for you? I think you need to start by answering that.

You're drinking to deal with your feelings. (If there were no feelings involved, it would be easy to stop.) So - what feelings? Boredom? Loneliness? Anxiety? A bit of everything?

What you need is something else that makes you feel better. Once you know what's making you crave a drink, it'll be easier to know what could be a good substitute. Maybe you need to schedule daily talks with family or friends. Maybe you need to give yourself permission to do less during the day, guilt-free. Maybe you need to spend less time watching the news and more time watching youtube videos of cute puppies.

Without knowing more, things that are always a good idea: get outside at least once a day, have a conversation with another adult at least once a day (that isn't about technical issues like what's for dinner), exercise at least once a day (even just for 10-15 minutes), and spend at least an hour reading a book or watching a TV show or doing something else that's just for fun.

I know that's all easier said than done, but I think if you want to break this habit (and it really is worth breaking sooner rather than later) you're going to need to really prioritize self-care for a little while. You're doing this because on some level, you need it, emotionally speaking. Which makes perfect sense, since a lot of things are terrible right now. There are real external issues that can't be overcome through force of will or optimism or whatever. Holding on to sanity in a healthy way takes a real investment of time and energy.

Good luck and please update if you can.

amother

Copper

Fri, May 15 2020, 6:40 am

CiCi wrote:

This isn't an option for everyone. My husband and mom both drink and need to have alcohol around. Wine for kiddush is a generation old minhag. You need strong determination and possibly outside support.
Signed- someone who is 3 months sober today, and committed to being that way for a year after which I will reevaluate.

amother

Pink

Fri, May 15 2020, 6:58 am

Quote:

As the wife of an alcoholic, I think this is bizarre.
Explain it to them. Alcoholism is a serious, in some cases life-threatening, illness. It ruins lives.
OP can explain to her husband that she feels she's developing a problem, and really needs his help to get it under control.
No one wants their spouse to continue down the path to alcoholism with their wine.

Buy kiddush wine, not regular wine. The cheap, disgusting sweet stuff. Have him keep it somewhere private. IF he can't just wait a few months.

There's no reason not to take it seriously.

amother

Purple

Fri, May 15 2020, 7:10 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Congrats on 3 months sober! I can't imagine it was easy, especially since you don't have family support.

amother

Copper

Fri, May 15 2020, 7:18 am

Thank you Purple!! I'm up so early and really excited about this that I can't go back to sleep Smile

it's my first successful attempt to go more than a week without alcohol. Just did a little dance around in my jammies Smile

To Scarlett or Pink or whatever imamother color you're assigned (wife of alcoholic), it's really nice that you all helped the addict, but not everyone's family is that supportive, nor can you always expect them to be. Many family members won't take it seriously even if it already IS a problem.
At most, they'll offer to lock it up in a special liquor cabinet/closet, and you'll spend the night up looking for the key.

Ora in town

Fri, May 15 2020, 7:29 am

Wow! It is good that you intervene before it is too late.
Drinking alcohol before sleep might exarcerbate the fatigue problem, because alcohol might help to fall asleep, but the quality of sleep is not as good as usual.
So if you need something to fall asleep, try calming teas (valeriane, melissa, etc.)
If you feel tired: take a rest. You deserve a rest, your body needs rest.

In order not be tempted by wine: just throw it out or lock it up or give it to someone else for safeguard in the meantime...

I don't think that drinking 1-2 glasses of wine in the evening is a cause to worry yet, but kudos to you for wanting to stop it.

banana123

Fri, May 15 2020, 7:35 am

Stop buying alcohol (do kiddush on grape juice) and contact Alcoholics Anonymous, ASAP.

PinkFridge

Fri, May 15 2020, 8:58 am

Hugs! Hatzlacha and good for you for recognizing you need to get help. I hope you find good support.
And kol hakavod to amothers dealing with this, themselves or immediately family. May you have the kochos to keep this up, day by day till 120!

amother

Pink

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:10 am

Quote:

Thank you Purple!! I'm up so early and really excited about this that I can't go back to sleep Smile it's my first successful attempt to go more than a week without alcohol. Just did a little dance around in my jammies Smile
To Scarlett or Pink or whatever imamother color you're assigned (wife of alcoholic), it's really nice that you all helped the addict, but not everyone's family is that supportive, nor can you always expect them to be. Many family members won't take it seriously even if it already IS a problem.
At most, they'll offer to lock it up in a special liquor cabinet/closet, and you'll spend the night up looking for the key.

You're right. I'm sorry. What you are doing is very important and strong.
As the wife of an angry drunk, it's impossible not to take it seriously. But I wasn't thinking outside of myself to appreciate that there are many other circumstances. I don't think I helped anyone, just that I don't have a choice. I'm helping myself.

Ideally, it's much easier if the op can convince her family to take it seriously. But you're right, it's not always possible and it's not the only option. I'm sorry for sounding self righteous.

Congratulations on your amazing hard work. Good luck moving forward.

amother

Pink

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:10 am

Duplicate post, sorry

FranticFrummie

Fri, May 15 2020, 11:56 am

Please call AA now, and find a phone or video sponsor. It will help you so much!

24 years sober from serious drugs. Not afraid to post under my SN.

You can do this. Just reach out for daily support. Hug

Liora20

Fri, May 15 2020, 12:46 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

You're awesome.

Gut Shabbos Heart

Page 1 of 1