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-> Parenting our children
mfb
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 Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:35 am
| malki2 wrote: | | Possibly. But the Yichud ages for boys and girls are 9 and 3, respectively. So some people are sensitive to the concept behind this, meaning that if they are of those ages, they probably shouldn’t be sharing a room. I don’t think that it’s Halacha, but rather more like a sensitivity issue. If you don’t have it, you need not be concerned. |
The Halacha doesn’t apply to siblings. Only to non related people. Siblings are allowed to live alone even as adults together
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malki2
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:42 am
| mfb wrote: | | The Halacha doesn’t apply to siblings. Only to non related people. Siblings are allowed to live alone even as adults together |
Correct, but Rav Moshe does say, for example, that a brother and sister should not be secluded for an extended period of time. And given the current situation with all the funny stuff that goes on these days, I would say that you are better safe than sorry.
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amother
Sapphire
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:47 am
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I shared a room with my brother till the day of my chassana , what exactly Is the problem?
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Ora in town
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:47 am
| malki2 wrote: | | Possibly. But the Yichud ages for boys and girls are 9 and 3, respectively. So some people are sensitive to the concept behind this, meaning that if they are of those ages, they probably shouldn’t be sharing a room. I don’t think that it’s Halacha, but rather more like a sensitivity issue. If you don’t have it, you need not be concerned. |
What are you talking about?
Yichud is not applicable to siblings.
And, regardless, sharing a room might not imply that there are not other children in the room...
And Yichud is not applicable to sharing an open room within a house or flat...
Last edited by Ora in town on Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:48 am; edited 1 time in total
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malki2
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:48 am
| Ora in town wrote: | What are you talking about?
Yichud is not applicable to siblings. |
Rav Moshe holds that it is, if they are together for extended periods of time.
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Ora in town
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:49 am
| malki2 wrote: | | Rav Moshe holds that it is, if they are together for extended periods of time. |
Source please
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Ora in town
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:51 am
| malki2 wrote: | | Correct, but Rav Moshe does say, for example, that a brother and sister should not be secluded for an extended period of time. And given the current situation with all the funny stuff that goes on these days, I would say that you are better safe than sorry. |
Where does he say this?
Within a family, siblings are not secluded... there are other people living in the same flat...
In general, children do not lock their door when they go to sleep. The room is open and accessible, there are other people who can come in at any moment.
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malki2
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:51 am
| Ora in town wrote: | | Source please |
I’m at work now but I’ll be happy to find it later if no one else provides it by then.
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malki2
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:53 am
| Ora in town wrote: | Where does he say this?
Within a family, siblings are not secluded... there are other people living in the same flat...
In general, children do not lock their door when they go to sleep. The room is open and accessible, there are other people who can come in at any moment. |
I didn’t say that he holds that it’s Yichud for them to share a room. I said that he applies Yichud to a brother and sister who are secluded for long periods of time.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:54 am
| malki2 wrote: | | Correct, but Rav Moshe does say, for example, that a brother and sister should not be secluded for an extended period of time. And given the current situation with all the funny stuff that goes on these days, I would say that you are better safe than sorry. | Who is secluded? Siblings, that are sleeping in the same room are in the house with the rest of their family. They arent on a desert island or even in an office alone. They are at home with their family.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:56 am
I found the source and you have misunderstood/misread things:
* His sister; her brother. Brother and sister may not live together in the same house for a period of time which exceeds the normal stay of a house guest. They should also not be left together unchaperoned when their parents are away for an extended period of time.(1)
https://torah.org/torah-portio.....lach/
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amother
Yellow
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:59 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Until what age can a brother and sister share a bedroom? |
Huh?? What??? Take a poll here, how many shared with there siblings until they moved out(we survived). Why would this change because its 2020? I am definitely missing something here sorry.
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malki2
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:59 am
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | | Who is secluded? Siblings, that are sleeping in the same room are in the house with the rest of their family. They arent on a desert island or even in an office alone. They are at home with their family. |
I never said that Rav Moshe said that they should not share a room. I said that Rav Moshe said that there is YICHUD by a brother and sister for extended periods of time, if they will be secluded. I also said that some people are sensitive to this general concept and carry things further not to let them share a room past certain ages, as you can see by many of the testimonies on this thread.
Last edited by malki2 on Mon, Jun 08 2020, 12:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ora in town
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 11:59 am
| amother [ Ecru ] wrote: | | After all the bad stories I’ve heard I wouldn’t recommend it. |
Unfortunately, "Bad stories" can also happen boy on boy... or girl on girl... or outside bedtime in any room...
  
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dancingqueen
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 12:30 pm
| Ora in town wrote: | Unfortunately, "Bad stories" can also happen boy on boy... or girl on girl... or outside bedtime in any room...
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That’s true but girls are molested more commonly than boys and males are more often the perpetrators, plus this kind of thing seems to happen more often in RW communities (not just Jewish). So I would be especially wary of much older teen brother with young dd. Unfortunately, because the risk is small, yet too awful.
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amother
Blush
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 12:43 pm
| dancingqueen wrote: | | That’s true but girls are molested more commonly than boys and males are more often the perpetrators, plus this kind of thing seems to happen more often in . RW communities (not just Jewish)So I would be especially wary of much older teen brother with young dd. Unfortunately, because the risk is small, yet too awful. |
Source?
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amother
Cerise
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 12:45 pm
| dancingqueen wrote: | | That’s true but girls are molested more commonly than boys and males are more often the perpetrators, plus this kind of thing seems to happen more often in RW communities (not just Jewish). So I would be especially wary of much older teen brother with young dd. Unfortunately, because the risk is small, yet too awful. |
Girls are more likely to report it so the reported number of cases isn't an accurate representation of how often it is or is not happening to boys or how often the perpetrator is a female.
In response to OPs question, I would say it depends on the kids, I never minded sharing a room with any of my siblings - male or female - I would still live with any of them to this day.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 12:46 pm
| dancingqueen wrote: | | That’s true but girls are molested more commonly than boys and males are more often the perpetrators, plus this kind of thing seems to happen more often in RW communities (not just Jewish). So I would be especially wary of much older teen brother with young dd. Unfortunately, because the risk is small, yet too awful. | Huh? This "sort of thing" happens in every single community. But why do you think more so in the RM community? Strange thing to say really.
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banana123
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 1:20 pm
| amother [ Ecru ] wrote: | | After all the bad stories I’ve heard I wouldn’t recommend it. |
All the bad stories I've heard happened when the family had separate bedrooms for boys and girls.
Who sleeps in which bedroom isn't really a factor here.
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amother
Sapphire
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Mon, Jun 08 2020, 1:26 pm
| banana123 wrote: | All the bad stories I've heard happened when the family had separate bedrooms for boys and girls.
Who sleeps in which bedroom isn't really a factor here. |
Ya .I slept with my brother but was molested by my father so sleeping in diff room doeant makes diff. Someone who is sick is sick
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