I think Hashem is pushing us off the derech

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:14 pm

I just looked at rentals on Zillow and we can’t afford the prices. Sad

healthymom1 wrote:

Even a small community like Twin Rivers its in NJ its in the middle of nothing but everything and has jews and a shul.?

amother

Orange

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:18 pm

What about Elizabeth NJ? I have friends there and I can hook you up.

healthymom1

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:27 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I will look into it. Does the community have a website or anything? Can you tell me the names of shuls in the area? Is there an eruv?
Thanks

There is a website. It might be dated
Yes eruv. Small community/shul but it is a community. Mikvah there as well.
If youd like to speak to someone there you can call
Rabbi Yeruchem Katz 732-824-2982.
Town houses are $2100 to rent (4 bedroom)
Houses to buy are about 215k (so cheaper to buy than rent).

octopus

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:33 pm

It is so painful when tzara after tzara piles up on a person. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm not going to give you religious speeches. When you are in midst of tzaros it sometimes hard to hear it. Wishing you a lot of love and inner strength to carry these burdens.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:38 pm

OP Hashem is giving you a lot of difficult tests. Take a moment to ask Hashem for strength and His help.

In this day and age there is so much Torah learning through internet. You can choose a Rabbi or mentor and grow long-distance.

But you need physical, hands on help and a supportive community too. Please don't give up. Hashem has the best place for you.

Refuah shleima to your husband. May Hashem bentch you with everything you need. And true yiddish nachas from your children.

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:39 pm

it’s kind of far from my job. I don’t know if that area would work out. Plus it’s probably too expensive. We are pretty low income.

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

What about Elizabeth NJ? I have friends there and I can hook you up.

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:40 pm

Unfortunately that’s way more than we can afford for rent and we aren’t in a position to buy.

healthymom1 wrote:

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:41 pm

Thank you.

octopus wrote:

Sebastian

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:41 pm

What's your job?

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:42 pm

Thanks. I’ve asked Hashem for help throughout this whole time. It’s seems the answer is just NO.

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

healthymom1

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Unfortunately that’s way more than we can afford for rent and we aren’t in a position to buy.

Maybe Yeruchem has something to offer. Its worth calling. They want to build the community up so may have help with trying to pay for rent. Its worth speaking to him to see. I dont know much other than they want ppl to move so may have incentives

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:42 pm

I work in a Gan.

Sebastian wrote:

What's your job?

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:43 pm

I’ll look into thanks.

healthymom1 wrote:

healthymom1

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:45 pm

Goodluck! I hope it works out for you and your family+

Sebastian

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 1:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I work in a Gan.

You commute 3 hours a day to do that??? Can you find something similar near a frum community? What are your skills? Can you find a job that pays better? I'm assuming your dh doesn't work. Can/does he get disability?

Where is your husband s drs?

Not trying to be nosy, it sounds like you're going through a lot and I hope things get better.

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 2:15 pm

I was a sahm mom for 15 years and my husband ran his own business and made good money. 2 years ago after years of “not being able to do it” anymore he was diagnosed with a genetic condition. It will only get worse. There’s not much that can help and it’s in the top 5 most painful conditions. He pushed through and continued working until one day he just couldn’t work anymore. I had to find a job and this was the only place that even considered hiring me. BH. She pays me ok for what I do and she’s a good boss. The Gan is in the community that we were trying to move back to so I didn’t think I’d be commenting like that for so long. But now here I am.

I really don’t have any skills anymore. I used to but due to stupidity in my part lost that. I don’t want to give more detail because people know my story outside of here.

Right now I am doing some self paced training and will be able to do those things as a job eventually.

My husband does not get disability yet. IYH sooner than later but it’s a process.

And I don’t want to give the location of his drs so that people don’t figure out who I am. I know most people don’t care but I just want to keep it private that I’m complaining here. Smile

Sebastian wrote:

amother

Babypink

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 2:47 pm

OP I have a few similar challenges & no advice but hugs & understanding.

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 2:51 pm

I’m sorry that you have to experience any of what I’m going through. ((Hug))

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

OP I have a few similar challenges & no advice but hugs & understanding.

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 2:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

6 years ago we needed to leave our community due to a not being able to continue to rent the house we were in. We looked for something else there but didn't find anything we liked. So we moved away from the community "temporarily" until we could find a place IN the community. It never happened. We never went back. Not because we didn't want to, we just couldn't ever get back there for whatever reason. Money, finding a place, etc. So almost 2 years ago we found a place in a very small vacation community. We liked it well enough, it was great for our kids to be able to experience religious life, even if it wasn't as tight knit as we wanted it to be. Then my husband got sick and we couldn't stay there anymore. We were treated very poorly by people (the rabbi actually) who we thought had become our friends over this, so going back to this community is not an option. So now we live back in the same non Jewish area with toxic family members and we NEED to get out. We have to stay within a specific area due to my husband's drs and we just cannot find a place to go. There are no houses or apts that are available and that fit our budget. We did have an apt fall into our laps, because someone we knew was moving in the summer and she told me before anyone else. I talked to the landlord and she seemed keen on us living there. We were going to meet up in person to iron out details. When I called about a week later to set up a time to meet she told me she had decided to give the apt. to a friend's brother instead. Gee thanks lady. We weren't depending on having place to live or anything.
I am literally on the verge of giving up. I don't want to stop being religious but we have been alone for too many years. My kids have lost all the chances of a solid beginning to a strong Jewish life and now I don't think they will fit in even if we do find a place.
Why has Hashem put us here? I am being harassed daily by toxic family, that I NEED to get away from, we have no community to be part of and I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted from my life in general that I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I am hanging onto yiddsihkeit by a thread.

please don't tell me to talk to our Rabbi, we don't have one.

Then find another rabbi to help you in a community where you’d like to live. But don’t blame Hashem for this. Everyone has challenges and tests and this is one of yours. Hashem can’t force you to go OTD, that would be your own choice. Stay strong and do the right thing.

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2020, 3:38 pm

A rabbi to help us do what exactly? And I do blame Hashem. He laid this path in front of us. It’s a lot. Like a lot. I didn’t even include everything here because it’s so so much. And I’m not trying to go OTD. But we have so many things blocking us from moving on it’s hard to get through it all.

amother [ Yellow ] wrote: