WWYD. Force son to get shot for sleep away camp. Sensory

amother

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:08 pm

My 11 year old son has been attending sleep away camp since he was 8. His camp is reopening. All campers will need to take a covid-19 as well as an antibody test before being allowed to camp. My understanding is that the antibody test can only be done by drawing blood. My son is unimaginably terrified of needles. In order to take the test he'd have to be physically held down. He says it's a no brainer and he'll skip camp this year. Would you force the test on him? He loves camp and I expect him to have a great time if he goes.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:15 pm

11 year is only enough that the ball should be in his cart. Lay it out for him. If he wants to go he can only go if he has a blood draw. If he refuses he’ll be sorry every day of the summer that he’s not in camp

avrahamama

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:27 pm

I'd find every way possible to get him to take that test. Bribery, force, whatever. I can't imagine a kid staying home for two months because of avoiding 5 minutes of difficulty/terror whatever.

I just don't see how it's right for that child in the long run

amother

Gray

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:33 pm

You need to help your son overcome his phobia of needles. Right now, he can make the choice to have a blood draw or not, and there will be no consequences to his health. But in the future he may need blood draws for more important things, and you do not want him to refuse it and not deal with his health apporpriately. He needs to go for therapy to overcome this. As someone who has dealt with a serious phobia, I do not think it is fair to just say "give him the choice." Someone who has a severe phobia is really not capable of making the right choice, because they are totally controlled by the fear. For this summer, you may just have to tell him it's his choice, because there is not enough time to overcome it in therapy at this point. But if you really want to help him long term and for the future, get him a good therapist.

Stars

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:35 pm

avrahamama wrote:

2 months is the long run? If it would be an important shot I would force it (positively). An antibodies test? No way. Let a child learn some lessons on his own.

Ora in town

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I suppose the Coronavirus test would be even worse, since they go up the nose quite far...
but you could leave it to him: either tests and camp or no tests and no camp. $
At 11, this is a decision he can take...

amother

Gray

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:43 pm

I may be repeating what I said in my previous post, but I thing it so wrong to say "let him learn his lesson" or "let him live with the choices." You need to give him the TOOLS to make the right choice. And that means therapy to overcomes phobia. it is not his fault that he is so afraid. He is controlled by the terror in his mind, which is very real and valid. Telling him to make the choice is like throwing him into the deep end of a pool without swimming lessons. FIRST give him the skills to control his thoughts and overcome the phobia, and THEN tell him that it his choice.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 1:47 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Maybe so but therapy (even finding s therapist) takes TIME. There is no time now. Therapy would be helpful long term but what do you propose for the immediate need?

amother

Gray

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 2:00 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

Maybe so but therapy (even finding s therapist) takes TIME. There is no time now. Therapy would be helpful long term but what do you propose for the immediate need?

I wrote that in my first post, that there is not enough time to implement therapy for this summer. I don't know exactly what the solution is, but I think the mom should at least validate his fears, demonstrate understanding, and reassure him that they will get him help. So that the next time a situation like this comes up he will be able to think clearly and rationally and not just out of fear.

amother

Apricot

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 2:02 pm

He can't rationalize due to the phobia and make a logical choice. The phobia is forcing him to make that decision of "no, don't need to go to camp". And, yes, you are right. He is not going to find a therapist that is going to help in the meantime.

Do you think his pediatrician would be willing to prescribe him an anti anxiety medicine (like Valium or something) for this one test? It may not be strong enough but I think it is worth a try.

In the future, could consider hypnosis (only some people are susceptible to that) or as other's have said, psychotherapy.

amother

Silver

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 2:07 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

An alternative to valium might be cbd. You can get them in gummy form at your local health food store. Or hypnosis, if hes willing and you know of a provider in your area.

avrahamama

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 2:09 pm

Stars wrote:

2 months is the long run? If it would be an important shot I would force it (positively). An antibodies test? No way. Let a child learn some lessons on his own.

Seeing my child bored at home instead of having fun at camp would not be a lesson learned that I'd like to deal with...

Im all for learning lessons and consequences if they aren't punishing me as well...

For me camp is essential. I think it's more important than school. (I know this is a different thread altogether. Start a spin-off)

I would do what is needed to get that kid in camp. It's so good for them.

amother

Gray

Fri, Jun 12 2020, 2:12 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Exactly this. Look, I'll be a little more open about myself so OP and other posters can understand where I am coming from. I used to have a terrible phobia of doctors, due to some doctor-related trauma in the past. when I was newly married, I was offered an excellent job, but it required me to have an annual medial form filled out by a doctor. I was literally ready to refuse the job offer just so that I would not have to go to the docfor. Thankfully, my dh did not tell me "it's your choice," but found an excellent therapist for me. I have BH overcome this, and while I still do get a bit anxious before Dr appointments, it does not cause me to refuse to go.

and I like the idea of taking valium beforehand for a short term solution