What stuff to buy to help her fit in to camp

Ora in town

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 9:14 am

Lakee wrote:

I want to help my daughter fit in as much as possible what cute stuff can I buy for her

Is this really a serious question?
Or is it cynical?

I think the best thing you can do for your daughter is strengthen her personality, so that she will not feel she needs certain clothes to "fit in"...

You are doing her a disservice if you teach her that her popularity will depend on what she is wearing.
You are also doing her a disservice if you send her to a school where children are judged by their clothes..
Where have the values of midot etc. gone? Do they not exist in your daughter's environment?

Last edited by Ora in town on Sun, Jun 14 2020, 9:16 am; edited 2 times in total

sky

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 9:21 am

Please don’t preach.
Yes kids like to fit in. Even chinuch books will say to help kids fit in. Adults like to fit in. There is nothing wrong. Last years thread on this was so miserable.
I sent a kid to camp last year and was so happy I sent him with right slides and sweatshirt and pants and pjs. It didn’t cost me a lot and I was happy I didn’t spend my money on things he would have been embarrassed about.
And don’t start about some camps are simple - bec one year I went to a simple camp and didn’t have some thing everyone else still has and it was a nightmare.

Rappel

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 9:24 am

Ora in town wrote:

When a kid is an oddball, it does her no favours either. Some things are the gateway which allow her to have social interactions: clean, tailored clothes, the blue versus the white uniform shirt, the special pencils that everyone is using to make margin art in the back of assembly. Fads are often silly, but it's equally foolish to completely ignore what would make you or your child socially appropriate. Of course confidence is the most attractive feature, but you have to start somewhere, and externals are often needed to begin the cycle of acceptance and social confidence.

Op, I don't live in the area, but hatzlacha!

cbg

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 9:25 am

Ora in town wrote:

Please stop
She just wants to know what styles are in
The kid doesn’t need a social adjustment
Even I that is 50 sometimes asks what’s in, what’s new
That’s all she really asked
I’m sorry I know kids with strong personalities and do their own thing and
SOMETIMES SOMETIMES SOMETIMES
(in case you didn’t read it the first time)
they are just plain weird

And I’m sorry if op worded it the way that didn’t suit you, but that’s your problem.

Stop bullying ppl into your way

sub

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 9:33 am

Rappel wrote:

Very true.

meme6

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 10:17 am

My daughter is in11th grade and they like to be I. And trendy totally get you. What I would do is go with her to the in trendy stores and see what the teens are buying where I live for the summer they are buying midi skirts some shorter and tshirts 24/7 and dot are the company’s. They wear all different color skirts.

Blessing1

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 10:31 am

The best is to see what her class/friends are wearing. I'm seeing alot of midi skirts with tee's & white lace up sneakers. But I don't live in Lakewood, it don't know what's trending there.

Ora in town

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:01 am

Rappel wrote:

Are you really serous about that?
Is the society you live in really like that?
I would question my school choice if those things were essential for my children to fit it...

Ora in town

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:04 am

cbg wrote:

I would not really blame my daughter for buying clothes according to those criteria.
But for the mother to ask questions like this?
Come on!
What is the kind of society you live in?
why do you yield so much to peer pressure?
You are supposed to be the adults in all this!

Blessing1

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:06 am

Ora in town wrote:

Are you really serous about that?
Is the society you live in really like that?
I would question my school choice if those things were essential for my children to fit it...

Your and every other society is also like that, each society at it's own level. It's human nature to want to fit in. There's nothing wrong with that. You're not doing your kids any good by having them be the weird nerds.

Ora in town

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:07 am

sky wrote:

But why would you want to keep your child in the company of other children who will snob them if they don't have the "right" slides and sweatshirts and pants and pyjamas?

What kind of values are those?

Why would you want your children to "fit in" to such a society?

And don't you kind of feel guilty of encouraging such an atmosphere in your society'

Last edited by Ora in town on Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:08 am; edited 1 time in total

Blessing1

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:07 am

Ora in town wrote:

Please don't make yourself seem holier than thou. Every mother wants their kids to fit in.

Last edited by Blessing1 on Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:14 am; edited 1 time in total

happymom123

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:07 am

Ora in town wrote:

She's helping her daughter since obviously her daughter hasn't figured out how to buy trendy clothes. If you don't like this concept, no need to comment on this thread since she didn't ask if she should buy things, she asked what to buy.

OP, sorry I don't have kids that age or stage so I can't help but kudos for helping your daughter navigate the difficult time of teenagehood