Is it not lady like?

avrahamama

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:07 pm

imasoftov wrote:

A repost:

The pshat that we (my family) follow explains that this is refers to a person who walks around a shuk, tasting from each seller's merchandise but doesn't buy anything, just eats until he's full.

For those who do eat in the shuk, here's a list of places (check hechshers yourself) https://tinyurl.com/shukeat

like the people who eat a full lunch off costco samplers? LOL

my husband doesnt drink from bottle or can. so its not a ladylike thing. but something else. I just dont know what.

Elfrida

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:09 pm

RuralIma wrote:

I remember once as a kid maybe 5 or 6 years old visiting my grandparents and I came inside from playing and said I was sweating or something along the lines of mentioning sweat and my grandmother told me, "a lady doesn't sweat, she perspires."

Horses sweat, gentlemen pespire and ladies glow.

RuralIma

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:11 pm

avrahamama wrote:

like the people who eat a full lunch off costco samplers? LOL

my husband doesnt drink from bottle or can. so its not a ladylike thing. but something else. I just dont know what.

Maybe some people think it's gross or generally uncouth? Now I'm curious how many people drink from cans vs people who don't. Scratching Head

zaq

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:14 pm

RuralIma wrote:

, "a lady doesn't sweat, she perspires."

It's actually "horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow." Sorry, elfrida, didn't see your post first. We must read the same books.

Last edited by zaq on Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

Aylat

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:16 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

It has nothing to do with lady like. It's not good manners or mentchlich to drink straight out of a bottle.

I take my water bottle with me everywhere and drink from it constantly. I don't see any problem with it.

zaq

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:24 pm

There is nothing socially off about drinking soda from the can unless you offer a sip to someone else after doing so. Just don't keep it in an opaque bag because then people will assume it's beer. Drinking from a can or bottle is not precisely elegant but neither are many things in real life. just because you wouldn't do it at a wedding doesn't mean you mustn't do it at all. We don't eat corn flakes at weddings, either.

I suspect that many ultra-RW people will consider it a no-no because when the vessel is nearly empty, you have to throw your head way back to get the last little bit out. This exposes the underside of your jaw and stretches your neck and I'm sure some people consider that provocative. The question of "looking for things to consider not tzanua" aside, the solution to that problem is simple: use a straw.

Blessing1

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:30 pm

Aylat wrote:

I take my water bottle with me everywhere and drink from it constantly. I don't see any problem with it.

That's ok, you do what you do and I do what I do.
I think that drinking out of a water bottle with a sports cap is more acceptable than drinking out of other bottles.

zaq

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:32 pm

OOTforlife wrote:

If you were sitting for a meal, many people would consider it more formal or refined to pour the soda into a glass and drink from the glass. Sitting outside isn't in the same category, it seems to me, since no glasses are available.

I just adore (NOT!) rules of so-called "etiquette" that were created of, by, and for well-to-do people with household staff. When you're not only the lady of the manor but also the chief cook and bottle washer of said manor, you get to choose the method that saves you the most work. if the beverage is intended to be shared, of course it gets poured into individual glasses. If it's meant for an individual, why dirty up a cup for nothing? Waste of time, effort and water.

And when you're away from home, outdoors or in transit, pouring a beverage from a travel-worthy container like a can into a cup is just plain nonsensical.

Last edited by zaq on Tue, Jun 16 2020, 6:49 pm; edited 1 time in total

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:34 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

It has nothing to do with lady like. It's not good manners or mentchlich to drink straight out of a bottle.

not menshlich? Not humane to drink straight out of a bottle?
I followed you with "good manners", depending on when you learned your manners (last century?), but you lost me on "menshlich"...

bigsis144

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:38 pm

My 11th grade teacher had a unit she called “dakos ha’Emes” where we learned about things that were technically unnecessary but ways to show refinement. We had to keep a journal for a few weeks of examples in our own lives.

Examples she gave were drinking from a can/bottle with a straw, not using casual slang like “hey guys”, etc.

I don’t think she expected us to keep these kabalos forever (I certainly didn’t), but it was more to raise awareness. If I’d been more cynical and negative in high school, I probably would have been annoyed if not angered by the whole experiment, but BH I was very much a “Good Girl” archetype back then.

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:39 pm

zaq wrote:

I just adore (NOT!) rules of so-called "etiquette" that were created of, by, and for well-to-do people with household staff. When you're not only the lady of the manor but also the chief cook and bottle washer of said manor, you get to choose the method that saves me the most work. if the beverage is intended to be shared, of course it gets poured into individual glasses. If it's meant for an individual, why dirty up a cup for nothing? Waste of time, effort and water.

And when you're away from home, outdoors or in transit, pouring a beverage from a travel-worthy container like a can into a cup is just plain nonsensical.

But there is something to be said against drinking out of big bottles or out of bottles you do not use alone, on a very practical and medical level.

If you happen to have a little virus or bacteria, you risk passing it on to other people who would use the same bottle, even if they pour into a glass.

But you even might re-infect yourself with the same virus, because a temperate and damp environment is ideal for all those cold- and flu viruses to stay alive and well, and to come and reinfect you as soon as the ones in your sinuses or throat or lungs are gone...
So I use glasses or don't re-use small bottles when I have a cold...

For the same reason, doctors recommend to dry the toothbrush after each use...

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:55 pm

There's a thing called sensitivity. I don't believe that if I have a particular sensitivity that someone else doesn't that I am holier or more lady-like. But if something occurs to me, and it doesn't leave me, I act on it. So you decide what your comfort level is, and do that.

Blessing1

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:06 pm

Ora in town wrote:

not menshlich? Not humane to drink straight out of a bottle?
I followed you with "good manners", depending on when you learned your manners (last century?), but you lost me on "menshlich"...

Of course you're the nitpicker... do you realize that you put a negative vibe in literally every thread?
Mentchlich is the Yiddish term for proper or mannered.

Last edited by Blessing1 on Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:10 pm; edited 2 times in total

malki2

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:10 pm

imasoftov wrote:

That’s not what it means. What you described is actual theft. I doubt any rishon or earlier Acharon explains the Gemara according to this pshat. If I am wrong, please provide the source.

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:50 pm

malki2 wrote:

That’s not what it means. What you described is actual theft. I doubt any rishon or earlier Acharon explains the Gemara according to this pshat. If I am wrong, please provide the source.

Quote:

פירוש נוסף פירשו תוספות בשם הר"ר אליהו: "כגון שהלך אצל המוכרים וטועם משל כולם מעט מעט, כאילו רוצה לקנות מהם, וניחא השתא שקורין כלב - שדומה לכלב אוכל כאן מעט וכאן מעט" [וראה בדברי המהר"ל [1] ביאור נוסף מה הדמיון בין האוכל בשוק לכלב]
http://olamot.net/shiur/%D7%A2.....D7%9D

A propos stealing: it's not considered stealing when it's less than a pruta...

Quote:

והביאו את פירוש רבנו חננאל "דהכא מיירי שחוטף ואוכל. והקשו: "אם תאמר אם כן פשיטא דפסול דגזלן הוא, וי"ל שחוטף פחות משוה פרוטה

(Same page as above)