Kids Fight Over Weekly Mags! Help me make rules!

amother

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 12:11 pm

We subscribed to weekly magazine and we have 4 readers in the house. There is endless fighting over it every fri night and it’s dreadful.

We tried doing goirel for order of who should read it but some kids hog it for 2 hrs and the others on queue get so frustrated.

Can you help me set up a system or I’m gonna have to cancel this subscription which I feel is wrong...

Rachel Shira

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 12:50 pm

I would continue the rotation and just give them a time slot. Like half an hour or 45 minutes on Friday night and they can have another hour on Shabbos day.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 1:22 pm

My kids alternate an article or two each and then it is the next person's turn. Also they have to be showered and dressed for Shabbos and the toys away before they can read.

amother

Violet

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 2:35 pm

If they're old enough to read, they're old enough to figure it out.
I'd say to them them (anon because anyone who's in my house knows this line)

We are a kind, loving family. This seems to be disrupting that. Id love to keep buying them but I hate to see the anger.... Please figure out a solution so we can keep getting them. I'd hate to not be able to get them because I know you love them but I also want to make sure we're all being kind and loving...

(sounds funny but once you say it enough the kids say it to each other)

Change lingo obviously... This is for little kids but this idea.

Put it on them to figure out and also don't threaten. It's not "I'll take it away" it's "I want to buy it so badly so please figure out a way"

ra_mom

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 2:43 pm

If possible, order 2 different magazines that they all have an interest in, so there is more to go around.

Then set up a chart, switching up who gets which magazine first each week (every 4 weeks, each kid will get first dibs on their preferred magazine), 2nd, 3rd, etc.

There should be time slots. And if they're not finished after 2 hours, they can wait for their next slot, after everyone else has had their 2 hours.

I think it's awesome that everyone wants to read! Keep it up.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 2:57 pm

If I have a kid who reads the back comic and a couple things and will be done in fifteen minutes and another who will take over an hour, I have the shorter timed kid go first.

If not, I usually let it be, but I have a rule of no re-reads before passing it on. One of my kids has learned to start looking at the magazine that has been left over and say, "Wow! That's so cool!" to get their sibling to switch.

amother

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 10:35 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

Ya I used to talk this way until we were blessed with a child with a very complicated personality...you can’t always expect kids to “work it out between themselves” when there’s that one kid that won’t let up unless they win or beat everyone...

Kumphort

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 10:49 pm

I have the same issue
What we tried was week 1. Kids in order 1234 next week 2341.
Then you still run into issues of how long they are each reading and if they are in the middle of reading even if they put it down for a minute.
But good to know that most families have the same issue

amother

Red

Tue, Jul 21 2020, 11:59 pm

Haha this is us too! 4 kids fighting over the same mag every fri night! We talked abt saving the next 4 weeks so we have 4 new mags and then we can rotate each week but this way everyone still reads in order ..we didnt actually do it. And we keep saying we should cancel. Rotating for a set time prob is the best idea I can see working for us

smilethere

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 5:38 am

On the day I buy it, (wed/thurs) I usually give them 30 minute slots. It helps that they come home from school different times, so usually it's only 2 fighting at a time.
Over shabbos, I let the girls read when the boys davven and give them a chance each if they are still fighting.

teachkids

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 6:37 am

Don’t give each the time to finish it Friday night. They get half hour turns Friday night in whatever order you assign, half hour turns shabbos morning in whatever order, half hour turns shabbos afternoon etc.

shirachadasha

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 7:34 am

Similar to a poster's idea above, ask the kids for their ideas and then you decide which plan to implement.
If you ask them for their interests, you might find out that one kid doesn't mind waiting till Shabbos morning as long as she can have a 2 hour turn. Another kid might just want to be first but be willing to pass it on after 20 min as long as she can get it the next day. Another kid might agree to wait till after the day seuda in exchange for a treat.
Print the family magazine reading schedule before Shabbos and hang it on the fridge.

amother

Natural

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 7:49 am

I don’t let them read it until shabbos.
The rule is, whoever is ready for shabbos first (shower, dressed, girls hair brushed out, rooms straightened up..) is the one who gets the magazine first. The next person who is ready, gets it second ,etc.
If someone is taking an extra long time and the fighting is starting, I tell them they have 10 more minutes and then they can get it later.

amother

Silver

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 8:57 am

we had the same issue. my husband said it was completely unacceptable and that children who aren't toddlers should know how to share their "toys". He basically told me I had failed as a parent and that we should cancel the subscription if it's causing fighting. good times, good times. Sad

In the end we decided one kid gets it first day and then the next week it's the opposite kid and we just switch off.

I told him about this thread and how clearly it's normal. He said he didn't care and do I want to be normal because normal in this country seems to be single parenthood... I said in" our society" so he said ok it's normal for the husband to work long hours and the wife to have a job as well, I'm a SAHM and he works good hours...