What do Israeli girls do after High School?

juggling

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:00 am

What does your daughter want to do after high school? Does she want to study? Honestly I'm not sure sherut leumi is the right way for her to integrate socially. If she wants to be in a dorm with young ladies around her age she might be better at a seminary/midrasha/religious college. Probably not university, unless she specifically wants that. That's not probably going to give her the social atmosphere she's after.

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:10 am

Rappel wrote:

Ew. That is NOT standard behaviour. It sounds like you were among the worst kind of arsim. What unit were they from??

I don't recommend army in general for women, nor new olim, but not because of THAT.

It was an army base in Afula, and true chock full of arsim of the worst kind. They were artillery if I remember correctly. It was awful.

amother

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:14 am

juggling wrote:

If we stay in the US, she would most likely go to a part time seminary and start going to college. Most likely a religious program.

But if we move to a new country, she needs a little more then here. She needs to acclimate and make new friends.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:16 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Yes!

I volunteered for the army for a few months and the male soldiers jeered at one of the American girls who had a large chest, cat calling and talking loudly about her b00bs. They also informed us that female soldiers were known as 'mizronim' (ie mattresses)

Just my own personal experience.....

When was this?
Thirty years ago, this was very common. Today, not so much. Metoo has moved into the army too, and women are not taking the same cr@p they used to.
I haven't heard the 'mizronim' slang for years and years.

FTR, many of the more frum dati leumi girls are davka going to the army in the past few years. It's a trend. My girls went to sherut leumi, but a few of their friends went to the army, and they were actually the more dati girls.

Not that I recommend the army for op's dd at all - it would be hard for her to fit in with her background. But for an Israeli dati girl who is strong in her convictions, it's fine if that's what she wants (and those girls aren't really asking anyone what to do anyway).

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:18 am

Does she know basic Hebrew? Sherut leumi can be a great bonding experience and a wonderful way to make new friends, but she does need Hebrew.

Otherwise, I would recommend a dorming situation at a dati college (I am not familiar with them so much, my kids didn't go to dati colleges).

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:21 am

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

This was 10 years ago (wow I feel old!)
My DH was in the army for 10 years and he said he felt that it was a difficult place to remain frum in. Already heading into another topic entirely, but his take home message after so much time working there (and he was with so called 'quality' people who were very intelligent etc) was that our daughters will definitely not go there, and even sons will need to have a firm torah education before they'll be able to deal with that kind of environment.

chanchy123

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:23 am

juggling wrote:

My DDs school often has bnot sherut who’ve made aliyah alone or with family. It’s a good combination for the girls, many English speaking staff and students but an Israeli environment. The girls live together in an apartment and are supervised.
Sherut leumi, like the army is a good equalizer and gives young people a soft landing into Israeli society. Also assuming she’s going to continue in the Torani path it will give her connections for shiduchim and shared experience with other students when she goes to college. She will be very much the odd lady out going straight to college or even midrasha from an American high school.

amother

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:36 am

chanchy123 wrote:

Thank you! When you talk about your daughter's school what type of school are you referring to?

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:14 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Off topic, but if your girls are in regular dati leumi schools, then never say never. 18 year old dati leumi girls have a mind of their own.

(It's amusing to me to hear moms of young kids say 'my 18 year old will NEVER' - unless you are raising your kids in a supremely sheltered environment, 18 year olds tend to make their own choices. You can encourage or discourage, but to say they will definitely not do something is overreaching).

amother

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:14 pm

juggling wrote:

I'd bet nbn can help you find appropriate sherut leumi placements, if that's the route you choose to take.

I will talk to our advisor. But they are so over worked now I have found out more info from other sources. How many questions can be answered in a 15 minute phone appointment? Very little unfortunately!

amother

Natural

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:40 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Then religious girls definitely should never take public transportation in Israel. Walking down the street is also unideal.

Rappel

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Former bat sheirut + olah here. What do you want to know? Smile

amother

Natural

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:49 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What is the difference between DL and Torani?

As I see it Torani is a subset of DL, so you can be both Torani and DL, but most DL aren't Torani. Torani is the right wing (religiously) side of DL.

So like most DL women wouldn't wear pants but they wouldn't be very upset if their daughter did, and would have a "different strokes for different folks" attitude , whereas Torani would be solidly against.

Also most DL would actively encourage University for their kids. For Torani it wouldn't be forbidden or taboo but not actively encouraged.

amother

Magenta

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 1:33 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

Then religious girls definitely should never take public transportation in Israel. Walking down the street is also unideal.

It is not the same at all !!!
The army is not a 15 minutes drive neither 4 hours , in the army she should obey the rules for 2 years whether she like it or not ,
whether if the commanders are kind or not .
It is a big deal to get out of the army in the middle of the service .
In general , I really can't get any sense of considering send an innocent BY girl to the army
It is completely the opposite way of what she was educated all her life.
It's like throwing her to the sea while she never learned how to swim .
I don't believe any normal parent would take any risk on the spirituality of his child .

amother

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 1:56 pm

Rappel wrote:

Former bat sheirut + olah here. What do you want to know? Smile

Thank you for the offer! I'm so overwhelmed now I don't even know what to ask anymore!

I never expected to have to leave my oldest child behind. This is very difficult. But if we wait any longer then we would need to wait 5+ years and then who knows what will delay us. It's a lot to take care of!!

essie14

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 1:58 pm

There used to be lone bnot sherut (I think that might have been discontinued) but your DD would be the same as that. I know several girls who made aliyah at 18 or 19 and did that and they have had a successful aliyah.
Bnot Sherut live in apartments and it's a really nice experience.