Living without Jewish Neighbors-ASAP response pls!!!!

thunderstorm

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 11:59 am

I did it. I’m very happy like this. There are enough neighbors a few blocks away.
After I purchased my home , within two years many homes were bought by frum people.
I live on a very quiet cul de sac, with middle aged people , so there aren’t a bunch of non Jewish teens blasting music , or hanging out on my block. It’s quiet and peaceful and our relationship is “good Morning” and a wave and we are happy like that.
My kids found friends in shul , and they walk a few blocks to go play. I am on a neighborhood chat and became friendly with some people. You have to know yourself and what you truly want. I actually wanted peace and quiet and not too many neighbors.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:02 pm

You only have a baby now. So you have a few a years before it matters re: your kids having neighbors to play with. If the community doesn't grow and spread to your area in the next 5 years, you can reevaluate and sell the house if you want. I say go for it.

amother

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:15 pm

tichellady wrote:

In our community it’s really unusual to have frum neighbors. Also I wouldn’t buy a house in a community I have not lived in yet. I would rent first

That's not really the issue, in this community there are no houses to rent and I know I like the place, I want to buy there the question is in which location
Also this house is way nicer than most of the houses in the hotter neighborhood
Thanks everyone for ur input, it gave me lots of food for thought, any more advice I'll take....

amother

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:17 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I hear you, the neighbor hood is quieter and nicer so that does help
There is a community chat and I"m relying on that a lot to make friends, I'm just nervous as I'm not the most outgoing type I need that 1 friend to rely on to pull me to come places, guess I'll have to decide but thanks for the encouragement

silverlining3

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:20 pm

Having neighbors doesn't always mean bugging your business!
One can have 5 neighbors in the same complex and live comfortable and peaceful. And then one can have 1 neighbor, a block or so away and she might bug your business more than the 5 neighbors. You never know in which apple you'll bite into.
I don't like bungalow colonies, but I do like having some people close by. Shall it be, when I'm the mood to just sit out and schmooze, borrowing something in desperate need etc. And also, if I don't get along well with one, I have few other people to hang out with.

It's really what your personality and priority is.

amother

Olive

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:24 pm

We saw a house in Jackson on a block with no yidden and a drive from the Jewish community. There was another house down the block for sale which we thought "may" be bought by a Jew. I refused to buy based on that speculation. Both houses were sold to non-Jews.

amother

Azure

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:35 pm

10-15 minute walk? Or drive?

I'd think you can walk the 10 minutes. My kids could walk 10 min when they were pretty young.
When I was at that stage I would've done it. Now my kids are spoiled and need to pop in and out of friends houses on their own.
So if you do it, do it now.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:41 pm

Will you mind if you don’t see anyone over a Shabbos. Do you need pplcduring week? Do you work and socialize there or need ppl in neighborhood to socialize wit?

I don’t think kids need playmates in neighborhood until around age 5.
Personally I prioritized food friends for my kids over house or my friends. I believe it has paid off immensely. Especially now when there was no one but neighborhood friends.

amother

Rose

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:45 pm

We've never had Jewish neighbors and it has never been an issue. My kids have friends from school and I make myself available to chauffeur them or pick up their friends.

It's really been a non issue for us.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:48 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

I wouldn’t do it. The Torah says to look out your window and see what your children will be looking at when they look outside, that’s how they will be affected.
It’s a danger. Better to keep looking where you’ll have frum neighbors and friends and so will your kids.

I'm sorry - even within a block of frum neighbors in OOT places it's common to have non-jewish neighbors. Growing up none of the non-jewish people on my block had any kids but somehow every halloween we had treak or treaters knocking on the door.

There's plenty of frum people who I don't want my kids to emulate.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:50 pm

But Jewish neighbours doesn't guarantee playmates. The area I moved to is mostly families 10+ years older than mine-their kids are teens or enough years older than my little ones that it's not playmates. But then my kids play together. They're close enough in age and I think it's nice for the siblings to bond.
I never grew up with Jewish neighbours (although now when I go to my parents the neighbours are all jewish). We walked to our friends, it wasn't a big deal.
Personally I'm the type that likes my privacy, like when we looked at one street that was more jewish and the neighbours were more our age, with little kids, and the kids were in and out each others houses, on the street etc-I couldn't live with that. I like that playdates need to be arranged in advance.
But you have to do what will work for you. I would totally take big nice house, good price etc over location, but that's personal to everyone.

Ema of 5

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:54 pm

I haven’t read through all the replies, but do you mean a 10-15 minute walk, or drive? That makes a huge difference. 10-15 minute walk to frum families is no big deal, generally. 10-15 minute drive means they are a 20-40 minute walk (at least) and that’s a little harder. If everything adds up, I would do it.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 1:06 pm

As everyone said it depends on what you prefer and what the community is like.

In my community, there is a lot of planned Shabbos lunch socializing, but also a lot of spontaneous Shabbos socializing after lunch. I rarely make playdates ahead of time for Shabbos, as it's not practical for us to do so with very young kids who still might fall asleep during the day or just be indisposed. Many people in my community stop by each other's houses all the time, either to invite over or to stop in and hang out and have the kids play.

To me, it's important that I be close enough that I can easily walk to a bunch of different neighbors to see if they're available to play and for them to easily be able to walk to me for the same reason. Especially now, during Corona when a lot of people aren't having guests inside.

I live on a street that is located on the outer edge of the community, but not the outermost. We have 5 frum families on our street, out of maybe 20 homes. Three of those 5 moved in after us. But our street is located right behind/parallel to one of the main streets that is majority frum, and I can get there in 3 minutes walking. So we get a good amount of privacy and also proximity. That is really the best of both worlds if you can get it.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 1:12 pm

I'd think carefully. There's no way to know how that side of the neighborhood will turn. Right now you only have a baby but iyh has he gets older and your family grows your children will need more. I live in the last house out in my neighborhood, initially people came to me. Now that they have more closer to them they don't, I'm always the one going. My friend lives out of town and bought in a not so frum part and her children are much more limited and she feels much less integrated. Being willing to drive/walk to friends is great but when I hit the stage where a young child wants to go but can't go alone and I need to take care of the baby or the baby is napping or I'm tired after a day's work it's hard. It's nice to be able to just go across the street or watch him walk down the block.
Just some perspective and food for thought...
Hatzlocha with your decision!

amother

Cerise

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 2:07 pm

Based on my life experience, I wouldn't do it. I own a beautiful home and I'm looking to buy another because of the lack of neighbors. I visit friends in more happening neighborhoods and my kids are entertained for hours.

I know someone who owned a house in the heart of Lakewood, moved to a mansion in Toms River and literally got depressed because of the lack of neighbors on her block.

amother

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 2:31 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

I mean a 15 min walk
Issue is I don't drive these days, I probably will get my license once we move but its not happening today or tomorrow....

amother

Puce

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 2:59 pm

Are you me?? Literally having exact same dilemma! I’m looking in Jackson/TR so perhaps there it’s more likely that block will eventually become frum- question is how long it will take and will I be compatible with the new frum neighbors if/when they move on.. Also my kids are already older and need friends..

amother

Oak

Thu, Jul 30 2020, 12:02 am

I wouldnt do it.

We moved to a home that was cheaper than the center of the community because of the price.

For the first few years it was very lonely and I would get depressed coming home and seeing no one around.

BH my neighborhood picked up and lots of young frum families are moving in but it was hard in the beginning and we probably would have sold and moved in order to have neighbors.

And I am talking literally a 5 minute walk from the happening area. It doesnt take more than a block or two to go from having tons of socializing to having no one. I can't stress that enough.