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-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
Chaya123
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 Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:00 am
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I second everything Chayalle said. You can only try your best from all ends and put in your ultimate effort. At the end of the day, there are always great girls who get in a day before school starts despite all the effort. Much hatzlacha!
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amother
OP
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:12 am
Thank you for all the responses.
I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of the other high schools in Lakewood! At the end, my daughter will probably end up in one of them. It’s just that all her cousins went to either BY and BS and her friends have siblings there.
Like choosing a neighborhood or a summer camp, you want to make sure you fit in and are surrounded with people like you. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with other options. It just has to be the right match.
(We definitely don’t look down on anyone in other high schools! We just want her to go to one where she can feel comfortable to thrive)
My point in starting this thread and describing my daughter was to get names of high schools that could possibly work for her without an older sibling and good grades.
She is our oldest daughter and I know it will be easier for her sisters after she goes through this.
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Chaya123
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:15 am
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Would you say which elementary school she attends and where most girls from her school apply? At this point, those 2 high schools are the hardest to get into so I wouldn't invest all my efforts there. There are other smaller newer high schools that might be nice options. Please speak with your daughter's principal as she will have the most knowledge regarding schools, availability, and which is best option for your daughter. Of course, the main thing is to daven that she goes to the best place for her. Like others said, all the schools are good and wherever she goes, you can make it work.
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Chayalle
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:29 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you for all the responses.
I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of the other high schools in Lakewood! At the end, my daughter will probably end up in one of them. It’s just that all her cousins went to either BY and BS and her friends have siblings there.
Like choosing a neighborhood or a summer camp, you want to make sure you fit in and are surrounded with people like you. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with other options. It just has to be the right match.
(We definitely don’t look down on anyone in other high schools! We just want her to go to one where she can feel comfortable to thrive)
My point in starting this thread and describing my daughter was to get names of high schools that could possibly work for her without an older sibling and good grades.
She is our oldest daughter and I know it will be easier for her sisters after she goes through this. |
I think you should ask your daughter's principal what other choices you should consider. Let the suggestions come from her. Ultimately, she is the one who's going to speak on your daughter's behalf and influence a high school to take her.
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amother
Apricot
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:36 am
You know what, OP, I am going to believe that you really don't look down on other schools. I am going to believe that you and your daughter are truly lovely people.
Then, I would just ask that should you discuss this again to perhaps consider modifying your language so that you don't use words like "second-choice" or "won't even consider" other places. Words like that come across... differently than what you might have intended.
Just a thought. There really are nice good girls everywhere. And struggling girls everywhere too, unfortunately. Best of luck to u.
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amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:45 am
| amother [ Teal ] wrote: | Greater Teaneck area. (Teaneck/Bergenfield/Englewood/Fair-lawn.....)
EVERYONE gets into a school. It might not be there first choice, but usually it is. There are tracks at every level. The kids who have the most difficulties getting in are the ones who lack nice middot and bullying other kids and a chutzpadick to teachers. Students who don't submit homework also have a greater challenge. On the day that accept letters go out, everyone gets in somewhere out of their 3 choices. The principals barter to break up mean girl cliques and they may each take 3 "problem kids" to share the wealth, but the elementary principals manage expectations in advance encouraging parents to submit applications to where they can get in. There was a faux pas last year, but everyone felt terrible and it was resolved very quickly. |
This sound amazing I hope such a system comes to lakewood!
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keym
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:49 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you for all the responses.
I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of the other high schools in Lakewood! At the end, my daughter will probably end up in one of them. It’s just that all her cousins went to either BY and BS and her friends have siblings there.
Like choosing a neighborhood or a summer camp, you want to make sure you fit in and are surrounded with people like you. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with other options. It just has to be the right match.
(We definitely don’t look down on anyone in other high schools! We just want her to go to one where she can feel comfortable to thrive)
My point in starting this thread and describing my daughter was to get names of high schools that could possibly work for her without an older sibling and good grades.
She is our oldest daughter and I know it will be easier for her sisters after she goes through this. |
I sympathize with you OP. My daughter is my oldest. She's in 9th grade now.
Almost all of her friends in our neighborhood, all of her friends from school went to BY or BS.
Either they have older sisters there, their mothers are alumni there, or they have massive pull (Schustal, Kotler).
We applied to both those schools, but I made it clear to my daughter that if we get in elsewhere we won't be upset because applying there was a long shot. Though bh she's a good student.
Bh we got in elsewhere and so far she's happy. And discovering all the girls that she actually knows that are her type but she never would have known.
This is my perception of the schools that I looked into.
I'll say we didn't do much research into BBY, Bnos Leah, Maalot Bnot Yisroel and Ateres Nechama because there were many others that would suit us better.
Bais Yaakovhas a name of being the TOP, TOP school, though in my opinion that is overblown. Nice girls, good academics. Huge classes- 40-45 per class. Very into peer pressure and the cookie cutter mold. Can cause pressure for girls who don't want to or can't walk lockstep.
Bais Shaindel very nice girls. Mostly old Lakewood families and that type.
Also huge classes. 40 girls. Less academic pressure. Girls seem very happy, but easy to get lost in the crowd.
[/b]Oros mix of yeshivish and balabatish families but they look fo serious girls. Very academic. Less pressure on appearances. Classes are closer to 30. School is around 15 years old.
Maon high school linked to Bnos Melech. Has both academic and less academic students. Probably most yeshivish school. 30 per class. Not easy to get in if you're not in Bnos Melech, but they do take some girls. My niece in Maon says that each class has around 8 girls not from Bnos Melech. School is around 8 years old
Aderes nice warm school. They have academics, but it seems like they have support available for good girls that are less intellectually inclined. 27-30 girls per class. The school feels like an OOT BY- nice mix of all types. This is the 3rd year. Next year they will have a full school. Principal is Mrs Drillman
Chedvas. I don't know much because it's young. Connected to Bnos Bracha. This is it's second year. Principal is Mrs Miriam Jaffe.
Classes are 25-30. They don't pressure with academics but it is available.
Shiras Devorah Bais Tova's school. Maybe around 10 years old. Heimish/balabatish crowd. Very good academics and known for its amazing extracurricular activities.
The girls I know there are very happy. But I don't know how girls not from Bais Tova acclimate.
30 girls per class.
Bais Kaila[b] oldest school. 45/50 years old. Has a real mix of old time Lakewood families and newer.
Classes are closer to 25.
I chose not to apply because the girls in my daughter's class who were going there were real bad chemistry with my daughter.
But Chayalle can help more.
I think I got many of them.
Feel free to pm with questions.
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watergirl
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:51 am
| amother [ Powderblue ] wrote: | | This sound amazing I hope such a system comes to lakewood! |
The most perfect system can be brought to Lakewood by Moshe Rabbeinu himself, it will do nothing to solve the problem - there are more students than there are seats. Full stop. People who want to move to this area should look at the rest of the country and find another place to live. It is fair or realistic to expect someone to fix this. It is a self-made problem. It can be self-fixed. A time has to come when people realize there is no more room!
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iyar
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 12:45 pm
| amother [ Black ] wrote: | | Okay, now that you got a chance to praise your community for not being Lakewood, the OP was asking for help with Lakewood high schools. |
She wasn't showing off and praising her own community. She made a comment. In response, someone asked her where she lives. She was answering a question.
... imamothers can be tough sometimes.
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amother
Teal
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 12:58 pm
| iyar wrote: | She wasn't showing off and praising her own community. She made a comment. In response, someone asked her where she lives. She was answering a question.
... imamothers can be tough sometimes. |
Thank you.
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zohar
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 1:08 pm
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Another thing. The academics in all the schools are pretty much the same. It's the attitude and social pressure that differs in the schools. Let's say you would be about to get into BY or into Bais Shaindel (highly improbable). Bais Shaindel sounds like it can be a good fit for your daughter and BY would not. It's not that BY is harder, it's that in BY is embarrassing to get a poor mark. The school might not even give a good job of you struggle academically, because they feel it would interfere with your academics. I know a girl with a not normally beautiful and trained voice who should have been choir head, but did not get the job because the school felt it would affect her grades. In Bais Shaindel and Bais Kayla, this is not such an issue. We would sometimes "brag" about how bad our marks were. Grades had little to no impact on social standing. I don't know about the newer schools, but that is what I would research.
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naturalmom5
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 3:38 pm
| watergirl wrote: | | The most perfect system can be brought to Lakewood by Moshe Rabbeinu himself, it will do nothing to solve the problem - there are more students than there are seats. Full stop. People who want to move to this area should look at the rest of the country and find another place to live. It is fair or realistic to expect someone to fix this. It is a self-made problem. It can be self-fixed. A time has to come when people realize there is no more room! |
This is the biggest cop out I ever read on Imamother
Everyone says it and its BS..
Whenever my husband and I go to Jackson we get lost..
The place is huge and so is TR.
Stop fighting about nonsense and focus on schools.
Stop playing elitist games and build more !:;& schools
I say this as someone with children in their 20s, with no ax to grind at all..
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Simple1
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 8:00 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you for all the responses.
I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of the other high schools in Lakewood! At the end, my daughter will probably end up in one of them. It’s just that all her cousins went to either BY and BS and her friends have siblings there.
Like choosing a neighborhood or a summer camp, you want to make sure you fit in and are surrounded with people like you. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with other options. It just has to be the right match.
(We definitely don’t look down on anyone in other high schools! We just want her to go to one where she can feel comfortable to thrive)
My point in starting this thread and describing my daughter was to get names of high schools that could possibly work for her without an older sibling and good grades.
She is our oldest daughter and I know it will be easier for her sisters after she goes through this. |
My 9 th grader is in a different high school from all her friends. I was a little sad, but my daughter is fine with it and it will be a new opportunity to make new friends.
I did think what if I did like others and push for it. But it happens that some of her friends didn't get into their first choice and one didn't know till last minute, so it's not something you can really plan.
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amother
Honeydew
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 9:20 pm
| naturalmom5 wrote: | This is the biggest cop out I ever read on Imamother
Everyone says it and its BS..
Whenever my husband and I go to Jackson we get lost..
The place is huge and so is TR.
Stop fighting about nonsense and focus on schools.
Stop playing elitist games and build more !:;& schools
I say this as someone with children in their 20s, with no ax to grind at all.. |
She very clearly was saying there’s no room in the existing schools, not that there’s no room geographically.
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amother
Wine
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 9:37 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Her vision is checked thoroughly every year by a top pediatric opthomologist. |
Went through very similar with my child, also had child checked thoroughly by a pediatric ophthalmologist, multiple times who missed this particular diagnosis.
Binocular dysfunction often needs a specialist, many fabulous ophthalmologists don’t pick up on it, some don’t have the equipment to properly diagnose. It’s a specialty.
The diagnosis was a lifesaver, so I just wanted to add this.
All the best!
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amother
OP
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 9:39 pm
| amother [ Wine ] wrote: | Went through very similar with my child, also had child checked thoroughly by a pediatric ophthalmologist, multiple times who missed this particular diagnosis.
Binocular dysfunction often needs a specialist, many fabulous ophthalmologists don’t pick up on it, some don’t have the equipment to properly diagnose. It’s a specialty.
The diagnosis was a lifesaver, so I just wanted to add this.
All the best! |
She doesn’t see double so I doubt that’s what it is.
Which ophthalmologist did you use?
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amother
Burlywood
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 9:42 pm
| naturalmom5 wrote: | This is the biggest cop out I ever read on Imamother
Everyone says it and its BS..
Whenever my husband and I go to Jackson we get lost..
The place is huge and so is TR.
Stop fighting about nonsense and focus on schools.
Stop playing elitist games and build more !:;& schools
I say this as someone with children in their 20s, with no ax to grind at all.. |
The ppl moving to TR and Jackson have no interest in building new schools. They are happy sending to existing schools.
(Besides oros bought land in Jackson years ago and is still fighting lawsuits. It’s an expensive battle. )
The job of building schools is dumped on some magical group of willing ppl. Ppl who never asked 1000s of ppl to move to town and creat additional traffic , harder to get into school, and later mikvah spots and soaring home prices.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 9:51 pm
| keym wrote: | I sympathize with you OP. My daughter is my oldest. She's in 9th grade now.
Almost all of her friends in our neighborhood, all of her friends from school went to BY or BS.
Either they have older sisters there, their mothers are alumni there, or they have massive pull (Schustal, Kotler).
We applied to both those schools, but I made it clear to my daughter that if we get in elsewhere we won't be upset because applying there was a long shot. Though bh she's a good student.
Bh we got in elsewhere and so far she's happy. And discovering all the girls that she actually knows that are her type but she never would have known.
This is my perception of the schools that I looked into.
I'll say we didn't do much research into BBY, Bnos Leah, Maalot Bnot Yisroel and Ateres Nechama because there were many others that would suit us better.
Bais Yaakovhas a name of being the TOP, TOP school, though in my opinion that is overblown. Nice girls, good academics. Huge classes- 40-45 per class. Very into peer pressure and the cookie cutter mold. Can cause pressure for girls who don't want to or can't walk lockstep.
Bais Shaindel very nice girls. Mostly old Lakewood families and that type.
Also huge classes. 40 girls. Less academic pressure. Girls seem very happy, but easy to get lost in the crowd.
[/b]Oros mix of yeshivish and balabatish families but they look fo serious girls. Very academic. Less pressure on appearances. Classes are closer to 30. School is around 15 years old.
Maon high school linked to Bnos Melech. Has both academic and less academic students. Probably most yeshivish school. 30 per class. Not easy to get in if you're not in Bnos Melech, but they do take some girls. My niece in Maon says that each class has around 8 girls not from Bnos Melech. School is around 8 years old
Aderes nice warm school. They have academics, but it seems like they have support available for good girls that are less intellectually inclined. 27-30 girls per class. The school feels like an OOT BY- nice mix of all types. This is the 3rd year. Next year they will have a full school. Principal is Mrs Drillman
Chedvas. I don't know much because it's young. Connected to Bnos Bracha. This is it's second year. Principal is Mrs Miriam Jaffe.
Classes are 25-30. They don't pressure with academics but it is available.
Shiras Devorah Bais Tova's school. Maybe around 10 years old. Heimish/balabatish crowd. Very good academics and known for its amazing extracurricular activities.
The girls I know there are very happy. But I don't know how girls not from Bais Tova acclimate.
30 girls per class.
Bais Kaila[b] oldest school. 45/50 years old. Has a real mix of old time Lakewood families and newer.
Classes are closer to 25.
I chose not to apply because the girls in my daughter's class who were going there were real bad chemistry with my daughter.
But Chayalle can help more.
I think I got many of them.
Feel free to pm with questions. |
Thank you for typing all this out!!
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amother
Fuchsia
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:28 pm
keym:
When did you do your research?
Oros now has at lest 40 girls in a class Bais Kaila's teachers would love to have only 25 girls in a class.
The schools are over packed most do not have $$$ to add more classes it is hard to start new schools so the girls just get packed in.
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amother
Natural
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Wed, Sep 09 2020, 12:17 am
Look into chedvas.
Theyre nice to the girls if you can say that.
A lot of nice sweet and fun aidel girls;
warm and upbeat and uplifting atmosphere; very much into each girl growing and help them become healthy happy and confident young Jewish women, whatever they each will choose to do with their lives.
They have tracks.
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