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Dd bullied on bus...mom denies it how to continue?
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amother




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Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 2:57 pm
octopus wrote:
Oh give me a break! A five year old is not manipulative if they refuse to go to sleep. How many kids do you have??? That doesn't mean "mom has no control." You cannot call up a parent to complain about their child. 98% of the time it is not received well. It is only the rare parent that will hear you out. Deal with the school. But be careful. Don't paint the other kid as a monster. Like a previous poster said, you tell the school that it's not a good match for them to be near each other at all. Use pareve language but get your point across. Welcome to life as a parent. You will need to learn how to be a diplomat to advocate for your child. Only pull out the heavy guns when diplomatic channels don't work.


thanks for responding....there are more details than her dd just "refusing to sleep"

regardless, your point of "you cant call a parent to complain about their child"...well, this is what shes been doing to me everyday....while I went immediately to speak to the teacher to separate them....


this parent who complained to me even wrote "lol" after telling me her dd said my dd was bullying and doing....

anyway, you are correct about learning how to be a diplomat to advocate for your child
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:00 pm
I once had a situation where another girl was bullying mine on the bus. I called the other mother, who is a very nice lady, and she said for some reason our daughters are rubbing the wrong way, triggering each other, or whatever. She suggested that our daughters agree to sit on other sides of the bus and just keep away from each other. Some relationships are not going to work and are best off separated.

We agreed to this and B"H it worked, we had no more issues.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:03 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I once had a situation where another girl was bullying mine on the bus. I called the other mother, who is a very nice lady, and she said for some reason our daughters are rubbing the wrong way, triggering each other, or whatever. She suggested that our daughters agree to sit on other sides of the bus and just keep away from each other. Some relationships are not going to work and are best off separated.

We agreed to this and B"H it worked, we had no more issues.


yes! great advice....we are trying to have them separated...im hoping it works out, but im not sure if someone is getting up to go to the other....
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:06 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
When my daughter was being bullied in school, I did not involve the parents at all, I don't see the point. Especially in little kids. I had the teachers and principal deal with it. Parents get very defensive if they hear that their kids bully.


I'd be extremely upset if a parent involved the school without contacting me first.

I've been contacted twice on such matters. Both times, I spoke to my child, and listened to their version. Both times, we were able to resolve the matter.
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:20 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
When my daughter was being bullied in school, I did not involve the parents at all, I don't see the point. Especially in little kids. I had the teachers and principal deal with it. Parents get very defensive if they hear that their kids bully.

IME the parents of the bully are very good at showing exactly how their child came to be a bully.
Better to speak to someone like the principal or teacher or bus driver, the parents are likely not going to be of any help.
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 3:25 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
I'd be extremely upset if a parent involved the school without contacting me first.

I've been contacted twice on such matters. Both times, I spoke to my child, and listened to their version. Both times, we were able to resolve the matter.


The school will usually contact the parents. The school must know that there's bullying going on so they should be able to keep an eye on the situation.
Many times it's no use to speak to the mom before involving the school because many mom's don't take kindly to hearing that their kid is a bully. What happens in school needs to be taken care of by the school.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post  Wed, Sep 23 2020, 11:39 pm
Since there’s no supervision on bus , it’s very hard to figure out what really goes on and to enforce rules like separating certain children. Who is going to ensure that they stay separated ? There is very little that can be done in these situations as long as busses run with no adult supervision.
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