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How DO you sleep train your baby
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Odelyah




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:09 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
I don't. I put them in bed with me from the day they come home from the hospital. When they fuss I stick my nipple in their mouth and go back to sleep. We both sleep great and are happy.


Very Happy yup

I don't "sleep train". sleeping is one of those things, like walking and talking, that the vast majority of humans learn to do just fine without any formal training.

all my 8 kids BH did just fine without it (and don't worry--none of them--age 9 to 26 sleep in my bed anymore Wink)
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:13 pm
Odelyah wrote:
Very Happy yup

I don't "sleep train". sleeping is one of those things, like walking and talking, that the vast majority of humans learn to do just fine without any formal training.

all my 8 kids BH did just fine without it (and don't worry--none of them--age 9 to 26 sleep in my bed anymore Wink)


I'm very paranoid about having the baby sleep in bed with me. I don't ever nurse laying down because I'm scared I'll fall asleep.
My MIL had her babies sleep with her and they were in her bed almost till they hit their teens. Her 11 year old still falls asleep in her bed and she transfers him to bed when she goes to sleep.....
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amother




Blue
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:18 pm
What I dont like is the rigidity of sleep training. What if the book says the baby is "supposed" to sleep for a 5 hour stretch and the baby is thirsty or hungry or simply needs its mama? They are not little robots programmed to follow a book. They are so little and have no concept of time. Why not feed upon demand?
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amother




Pink
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:21 pm
I follow the book "12 hours sleep by 12 weeks." works beautifully. Already did it twice. My baby goes to sleep without a fuss, wakes up 12 hours later.
He is 6 months but doing this since 3 months. Of course we asked Dr. before and he said good for you if your baby will sleep through night!
As long as eating enough and gaining weight, it's good
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:21 pm
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
What I dont like is the rigidity of sleep training. What if the book says the baby is "supposed" to sleep for a 5 hour stretch and the baby is thirsty or hungry or simply needs its mama? They are not little robots programmed to follow a book. They are so little and have no concept of time. Why not feed upon demand?


This is why we need to use are intuition as well. We shouldn't follow every word of the book. Some babies like to feed on demand every hour or 2, they're not hungry, they're just used to it. We can teach them to sleep longer stretches.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:34 pm
Okay, I’m clearly going to be a differing opinion here.
I used the ferber method and loved it with my two kids. Once the doctor said they don’t need to be eating at night anymore, I started stopping that. I only started actually training them when they were out of my room (and not eating during the night anymore). When they were in my room they woke up easier during the night. One baby was terrified of the crib, so I would lay her in it during the daytime with the light on, folding laundry next to her, talking to her, maybe using a mobile, etc., until a number of days later she wasn’t scared of the crib anymore.
The Ferber method worked for me because my kids screamed way louder when I would go in to comfort them and just wanted me to pick them up. No back rubbing etc they would just get more hysterical if I came in without picking them up.
So you put a baby in the crib, say shema, I love you, etc., and walk out. Wait five min, go in and comfort, leave. Wait ten min, go in and comfort, leave. Wait fifteen min, go in and comfort, leave. You basically add five min each time.
The first night one of them was up and crying for an hour. After a few nights, not sure how many each, they were good and didn’t cry. A few days of this, and they slept well and didn’t cry when I put them down (maybe for a minute or two)! Their pediatrician is very into babies (at a certain age) getting 12 straight hours of sleep so this worked perfectly bH.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:05 pm
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
I don't sleep train.
I schedule feedings by day and night every 3 hours. When the baby is about 2-3 months, I try to increase the night feedings (bigger bottles) and then space the 2 night feedings to 4 hours apart, dropping from 8 feedings per 24 hours to 7. When they're about 4-5 months sometimes they start waking up just once a night, and once early morning.
I don't think one having a full time job, or other kids that need you is a reason to sleep train. Parents give up the world for their child, including sleep.


If you are used to having babies with one or two Night wakings, I don’t think it’s fair for you to evaluate other people’s sleep training decisions. My baby would nurse every 2 hours at night and then still need a lot of help falling back asleep. This is not something someone can do long term without serious health consequences. I don’t think I would have sleep trained if she would do long stretches like you are describing
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:07 pm
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
What I dont like is the rigidity of sleep training. What if the book says the baby is "supposed" to sleep for a 5 hour stretch and the baby is thirsty or hungry or simply needs its mama? They are not little robots programmed to follow a book. They are so little and have no concept of time. Why not feed upon demand?


What book are you talking about? I have never read a book that says that. And sleep training and night weaning are two separate things. I slept train my child at 6 months but she still nursed at night because she needed it
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Kiwi13




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:29 pm
So, disclaimer, I have easy babies and definitely don’t judge people for doing things differently. We did CIO (in our own modified kind of way) with our first when he was about a year old and it took basically 1 night. He was ready at that point and the sanity of our household depended on it.

I co-slept 2 out 3 of my kids as newborns (one didn’t like co-sleeping. He cuddled with me until he was ready to sleep and then wanted to be alone). They slept peacefully in my bed with me for long stretches and we were all happier and better rested. That went on for a couple months or so and gradually shifted to part of the night in my bed and part of the night in a bassinet next to my bed. Then mostly in the bassinet. Then moved to a crib in another room. When I moved my daughter to her crib I let her take her bassinet “mattress” with her (no suffocation risk).

Anyway... my kids slept the night early on. I doubt my “methods” have anything to do with it. Hashem sleep trained them for me, in other words. I’m very thankful and I don’t judge other moms. The idea of CIO makes me sad, but it’s not some great evil. Sometimes it’s needed.
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amother




Red
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:30 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
I follow the book "12 hours sleep by 12 weeks." works beautifully. Already did it twice. My baby goes to sleep without a fuss, wakes up 12 hours later.
He is 6 months but doing this since 3 months. Of course we asked Dr. before and he said good for you if your baby will sleep through night!
As long as eating enough and gaining weight, it's good


Same here.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 2:37 pm
Odelyah wrote:
Very Happy yup

I don't "sleep train". sleeping is one of those things, like walking and talking, that the vast majority of humans learn to do just fine without any formal training.

all my 8 kids BH did just fine without it (and don't worry--none of them--age 9 to 26 sleep in my bed anymore Wink)

You must be a great mom!!
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 2:39 pm
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
What I dont like is the rigidity of sleep training. What if the book says the baby is "supposed" to sleep for a 5 hour stretch and the baby is thirsty or hungry or simply needs its mama? They are not little robots programmed to follow a book. They are so little and have no concept of time. Why not feed upon demand?

Can’t love this enough!!!
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 2:41 pm
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Okay, I’m clearly going to be a differing opinion here.
I used the ferber method and loved it with my two kids. Once the doctor said they don’t need to be eating at night anymore, I started stopping that. I only started actually training them when they were out of my room (and not eating during the night anymore). When they were in my room they woke up easier during the night. One baby was terrified of the crib, so I would lay her in it during the daytime with the light on, folding laundry next to her, talking to her, maybe using a mobile, etc., until a number of days later she wasn’t scared of the crib anymore.
The Ferber method worked for me because my kids screamed way louder when I would go in to comfort them and just wanted me to pick them up. No back rubbing etc they would just get more hysterical if I came in without picking them up.
So you put a baby in the crib, say shema, I love you, etc., and walk out. Wait five min, go in and comfort, leave. Wait ten min, go in and comfort, leave. Wait fifteen min, go in and comfort, leave. You basically add five min each time.
The first night one of them was up and crying for an hour. After a few nights, not sure how many each, they were good and didn’t cry. A few days of this, and they slept well and didn’t cry when I put them down (maybe for a minute or two)! Their pediatrician is very into babies (at a certain age) getting 12 straight hours of sleep so this worked perfectly bH.

Dr Ferber himself “ recalled” part of his method btw.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 2:43 pm
tichellady wrote:
What book are you talking about? I have never read a book that says that. And sleep training and night weaning are two separate things. I slept train my child at 6 months but she still nursed at night because she needed it

It’s sounds like you aren’t doing “ real” sleep training that all these moms are screaming about if you are still feeding her in middle of the night. Everyone’s blood pressure can now go down Very Happy
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yiddishmom




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 2:45 pm
Only have 1

Until 8 months he was in a mini crib near me. Nursed on demand. More often than night, I'd end up nursing him in my sleep and he stayed in bed with me for most of the night.

I would have loved to keep him till 12 months minimum, but at 8 months he became way too difficult. If I moved a drop, he was up.

So I trained him first for a week in my room - I would nurse on demand and then put him back in his crib. And then pat him and say shh for a few minutes until he fell back asleep.

After a week I moved him out of my room. I used the Gerber method.

Every 3 min or so I'd go back to his room. Put him down, pat him, say "I love you, good night" and leave.

After three nights he was BH sleeping through the night!

I always kept a few pacifiers in his bed and a bottle with water in case he gets thirsty. I still do it.
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Rachel Shira




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 3:42 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
It’s sounds like you aren’t doing “ real” sleep training that all these moms are screaming about if you are still feeding her in middle of the night. Everyone’s blood pressure can now go down Very Happy


Sleep training is not synonymous with night weaning! I sleep train my babies early around 5 months but I still nurse them like 3 times a night if they want. There’s a lot of misinformation and ignorance around this topic I think. Sleep training means teaching them to go to sleep independently (and what happens at bedtime will also happen in the middle of the night when they cycle through lighter sleep, leading to fewer wakeups).
Personally I make sure my baby is following age appropriate wake times and has a good bedtime routine, I separate nursing from bed by 30 minutes, and let them go to sleep on their own (yes this means crying). I don’t do checks because it makes them angrier and makes it take longer. My baby cried half an hour the first night, less and less the nights after, and by the fifth night no crying. It’s much more nuanced than that but that’s the general idea.
No tomatoes necessary. I’m confident in my parenting choices.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 3:59 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
It’s sounds like you aren’t doing “ real” sleep training that all these moms are screaming about if you are still feeding her in middle of the night. Everyone’s blood pressure can now go down Very Happy


There’s no such thing as real sleep training. People are commenting on things they don’t know much about
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potatoes




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Sep 25 2020, 4:10 pm
I use this method

https://sleepingchildsaneparen.....hecks
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 1:29 pm
I attempted to sleep train my older kids and it was a disaster. They never really got used to it and they only started sleeping well as they aged ( think 4-5 YO).
My little ones I coslept with ans didn’t even try to sleep train- they weren’t great sleepers either but it was easier for everyone. They are also easier, more confident kids and it might have to do with that.

I have a question to moms who sleep train- if your baby takes a pacifier to fall asleep how do they manage it at night when they’re so small?
Do you have to come in and give it to them every time they cry or do they just manage to sleep without it ?
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amother




Magenta
 

Post  Sat, Sep 26 2020, 8:37 pm
I used the book the Sleepeasy Solution to sleep train two children. They were both between six and eight months old. The book is extremely clear and it allows for the option of continuing night feeds. It addressed any questions I had.

Two things you should be aware of going in:
1) In my experience, you must be 100% committed to the process for it to work.
2) The entire day’s sleep schedule, naps included, is part of the process of the sleep training. An overtired baby will give you a hard time at night - it’s an entire sleep package.

As I sleep trained I felt conflicted at times about the process as it can be very difficult to hear your baby cry. But once they were trained it was so clear to me that I made the right decision. My babies were clear-eyed and happy when they finally got a normal night’s sleep (each was a sleep nightmare in their own way beforehand). I regained a sense of sanity and routine: I got a normal stretch of sleep and was far more functional and happy in every way, and could finally leave them in the evenings with a babysitter if I wanted to.
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