Does your husband sleep in the sukka?

amother

Teal

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:06 am

malki2 wrote:

Ok, so according to DH, this is not a ruling but rather a לימוד זכות by the Rema. Meaning that there is no mention of this at all in the Gemara and Rishonim, but rather there is an absolute obligation for all men to sleep in the Sukka. As it was, the keeping of this Halacha fell by the wayside, and the Rema was trying to excuse those who don’t keep it. But definitely the main obligation is for all men to sleep in the Sukka. As the Rema himself says, the scrupulously observant sleep in the Sukka. If married men were not meant to sleep in the Sukka, then the scrupulously observant would definitely not do so.

No, the "obligation" is only if the weather allows for it, and you can assume that in central and northern Europa the weather does not allow for it, as a general rule...

Because there is no mitzwa to have heating in the sukka
There is no mitzwa to have walls on a sukka as if it were a house.
There is no mitzwa to have a rain-protection over the s'chach in case it starts raining.

So there are regions in the world where the weather on Sukkot will always be too cold for sleeping in the sukka... And it is logical that in such regions, there is no minhag of sleeping in the sukka...

amother

Lilac

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:06 am

malki2 wrote:

I would agree. Someone said that the Shulchan Aruch claims men don't have to sleep in the sukka, and this is the closest I could find. I think only chassidim actually say that you don't have to sleep in the sukka, claiming that the sukka is too holy to sleep in. I'd be interested to know where that comes from, as it directly contradicts what Jews did for so long.

The easiest answer for why Jews stopped sleeping in the sukka is that they were afraid of their neighbors and/or the weather was too harsh for sleeping outside.

malki2

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:11 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

“Weather allows for it” is a very broad term. Of course if it is 30 degrees F outside then the weather is not allowing for it. But what if it is in the 50s or so, which is usually the case. Do they say that it’s too cold or do they throw on a hoodie and an extra blanket and sleep in the Sukka?

amother

Teal

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:14 am

malki2 wrote:

There is no aobligation to buy a polar sleeping bag to sleep in the sukka...

I remember how secular israelis laughed at us when we built a sukka in a climate any Israeli would deem too cold to even sit in, let alone to sleep in...

So definitely there are places on earth where you can posit as a rule that it's too cold on sukkot to sleep in a sukka, and maybe also eating in the sukka is a shaile in those regions...

Iymnok

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:15 am

DH says that many men don’t sleep in the sukka in the first year of marriage.
The danger may be from weather, animals or people. If it’s a second floor porch off your bedroom, I don’t understand the problem. Use a quilt.

malki2

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:20 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

As I said, it’s a Limud Zechus. Meaning that many will say that it’s too cold. But many others will buy the sleeping bag and will do just fine. It’s not the same as sitting in the Sukka when it’s raining which is certainly not the thing to do.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:41 am

malki2 wrote:

Usually the case where? Brooklyn?

I lived for years in Canada. Eating in the sukka was just bearable. Sleeping there was out of the question. Most Ashkenazi Jews have ancestors who lived in similarly cold climates. They did the best they could under the circumstances.

Raisin

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 6:51 am

No, Chabad doesn't. And its pretty cold and wet in any case. But my husband and son only eat and drink in a sukkah. Was quite challenging in the rain storm yesterday, my son put his soup under a chair on the table so it wouldn't get too diluted with rain.

essie14

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 7:13 am

My husband grew up in a cold climate so he never did. Now we live in Israel and I asked him if we could sleep in the sukkah but he said he wont be able to sleep outside.
The weather has been so glorious this week. We are spending so much time in the sukkah , since there is nothing else to do!

amother

Teal

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 7:15 am

malki2 wrote:

It's not limud s'chut for those who don't sleep in the sukka in such circumstances...

Those who don't sleep in the sukka in such circumstances are fulfilling halacha just fine, the way it was intended.

Those who still insist on sleeping in halacha despite the circumstances are doing something that was not intended in halacha...

So this might be fine as long as no-one comes to harm because of it, but if someone catches cold which deteriorated into a penumonia and eventually dies from it, he clearly was over "ve nishmartem meod et nafshoteichem"...

And don't forget that antibiotica became available only after WW2, before that there was real risk of dying eventually from any cold...

BadTichelDay

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:23 am

We live in Israel and my dh sleeps in the succah all nights (unless it rains, as it has occasionally done in recent years but not this year.) It is very important to him and I have no problem with it.
Our preschool and primary school aged children, boys and girl, sleep in the succah as well, they absolutely love it, though sometimes they wake up in the night and come into the house and carry on sleeping there.

My own main motive for not sleeping in the succah is that I'm extremely noise sensitive when sleeping and every car, plane, people talking on the street, dogs, roosters or birds and the children's stirring wake me up. For an example, we went camping once last summer and rented a tent and I didn't sleep the whole night because I constantly heard noises despite ear plugs. Once I woke up in our bedroom because I heard a big spider crawling over a poster on the wall...

silverlining3

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:29 am

My husband is in the sukkah, in general, whenever possible. So ya, he sleeps every night in the sukkah. Yt nights with a hoodie and chol nights with heater on. He wasn't cold on any night yet bh. He wants and I don't mind, so why not?

keym

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:41 am

Our default is that my husband and boys over age 9 sleep in the Sukka.
We have blow up mattresses, a Sukka of our kitchen porch, and they wear sweatshirts and socks for extra warmth.
Any given night, if it's too cold, or too overcast, they might skip it. If they wake up too cold, they move to their beds in the middle of the night.
In general, we try to spend as much time as possible in the Sukka. Learning, playing toys, games, just shmoozing.

amother

Chartreuse

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:49 am

DH has slept in the sukkah for the past 25 years, and I have always hated it. This year we were home alone, so I joined him and it was a win-win. Company for both of us and I get the mitzvah, as well. Not looking forward to next year, when the kids will Iy”H be with us again Smile

, but I will go back to being lonely in the house while my husband gets a mitzvah (and I don’t) Sad

malki2

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 9:33 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

The Rema was talking about Poland, where the winters are freezing. That what was the limud zchut was for.