Diaperphobia | Imamother

amother

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:01 am

It's an actual thing. I have 6 kids kh and I could probably count on one hand how many times my husband changed a diaper.
I'm still working on lowering my expectations...
I'ts usually not a big deal at all, but sometimes I feel like yelling at him!
For example, mid shower, rushes me so I should change toddlers diaper.
Will wake me up to change toddlers daiper of it's almost time for me to wake up anyway:x
On the chance that he does change a diaper, he needs tons of praise Can't Believe It

Anyone else know someone with this phobia?

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:04 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Anyone else know someone with this phobia?

It’s not a phobia, he just doesn’t want to.

amother

Green

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:04 am

I’m one of eight and my dad never changed a diaper. Ever. It wasn’t an issue. He helped in other ways. And my mom respected the fact that he didn’t change diapers. We have funny stories of him bringing kids to the neighbors to change if my mom was out. If your husband is a good guy I would just accept the fact.

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:09 am

I dont really think its acceptable. Yes, I change more diapers. But he can change them too if he's home. They're his kids too, and last I checked, neither I nor him are the live in cleaning help....

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:09 am

lovingmommy3417 wrote:

Yup. My husband literally gets sick when he comes near me changing a diaper. He has done it before but it physically make him ill.

I also think it’s gross but it’s part of being a parent.

Elfrida

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:15 am

I know one woman who reacted this way. Changing a diaper literally made her sick. With her older children her husband did most of the changes, and she helped when there was no other option. With her younger ones, she taught the other children to change diapers, and it became their job. Her youngest she says she changed her diaper less than ten times. She isn't proud of it, and rarely talks about it, but if it comes up she doesn't deny it. It's a weakness. She dealt with it as well as she could, and her babies were never neglected.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:17 am

What actually happens when he would change a diaper?
Chsnging a baby's diaper is one of the biggest cheseds one can do for their child. I seriously believe that.
Im sorry OP but being a parent means sometimes doing things you dont like.
Give him nose plugs and tell him to do the right thing. Sorry for being so harsh but I have a relative like that but I personally would have none of it.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:22 am

lovingmommy3417 wrote:

Yup. My husband literally gets sick when he comes near me changing a diaper. He has done it before but it physically make him ill.

It makes me physically ill too, during pregnancy. Then you have vomit to clean up too. So yes, my husband will usually do it when I am nauseous. But if he isn't home, there is no choice.

Nobody said all parts of parenting are flowers and roses. But the kid is my responsibility, a baby I consciously chose to bring into this world. So, tough.

amother

Plum

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:43 am

I made a deal with my husband before we had our first, I deal with wet ones, he deals with dirty ones. We felt it equal because dirty ones are more gross, but wet ones happen more often. If one spouse isn't home, is in the shower, or otherwise unavailable the other spouse did it.
This is what worked for us. Someone else I know refuses to do diapers, so one spouse does the diapers, one does daily baths.
Find a division of labor that works for you. Hard to start after 8 years (kids?) of being spoiled though.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:28 am

amother [ Green ] wrote:

If a neighbor brought me his child to get a diaper to get changed, I wouldn't think it was funny. I'd be really annoyed. If this is the case, let them hire a babysitter to take over while mom is away. Not the neighbor's responsibility or job.

WitchKitty

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 2:42 pm

I remember being horrified while at my friend once. She had 3 kids under age 3. Her husband called her to change a diaper and she says "can you please do it?"
And he answered "No, I changed one diaper today already."
I took the baby and changed him.

zaq

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 2:48 pm

WitchKitty wrote:

I would have taken the husband and (ex)changed HIM for a more cooperative model!

amother

Orchid

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 2:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Anyone else know someone with this phobia?

When my husband did that my response was "If you think it's THAT important, kindly get over yourself and do it!"

Somehow, we seem to give some people a pass when they are uncomfortable with doing something when it comes at our own discomfort.

My husband doesn't change many diapers, but he's learned not to pressure or rush me to do it either.

amother

White

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:34 pm

I have a veeery hard time dealing with vomit. DH is generally left to do the bulk of the cleanup, because it is so hard for me. Luckily it’s a rare occurrence.

But guess who cleans up a sick, dirty kid when DH isn’t around? I act like a parent and deal with it!

amother

Lilac

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:46 pm

Men like all humans will get away with what you allow them too. If dh would rush me out of this shower to change a diaper I would not and I would give him a look that would curdle milk.

My dh is a good guy but I used to let him take major advantage of me. Those days are over. I used to run myself ragged doing mornings and bedtimes and paying all the bills etc. After my own father “couldn’t” either. I hated him growing up how he’d walk away from the dinner table and never lift a finger while always harassing my poor mom and us girls about cleaning as if somehow having male genitalia made you able to take advantage of the females in your life

I highered my expectations and my marriage is the better for it. Yesterday dh tried to get me to call the electrical company to work out a bill because he had no patience and I had deja vu. I sweetly said I can’t about five times until he gave up. He does all bedtimes these days as well and pictures in a lot He’s an able bodied human being and the parent of these children. He’s an excellent role model to my sons these days bh