Has parenting in the 21st century gone off the rails?

yksraya

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:40 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Is leaving a monitor that different than leaving a sleeping baby in his crib indoors while shmoozing with a neighbor or watching your other children outside for 15 minutes? or sitting on your deck with the door closed?
In both cases you would hear a smoke alarm but wouldn't see anything.

I would keep the door open so that I can actually hear the baby. I would put the chair at the door. I would check on the baby often. Besides, I don't think I would go outside with kids, unless baby was up and in a stroller along with us. Answer the door for a neighbor, yes. Sitting on deck, yes.

amother

Denim

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:43 pm

I haven't read all the replies, but most people who leave the house don't leave for 15 min. How many times have you left the house for literally 15 min? It may feel like 15 min, but it's usually 30 min minimum.

Moonlight

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:55 pm

Personally, I think I would go outside my house but not leave my property w my baby in house asleep. Maybe I would run to a neighbor to borrow something etc but no further. In my house, I would sleep thru crying etc and not worry about crazy situations like fire or baby climbing out etc. You have to be normal

gamanit

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 4:11 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

A mom would never forget her kid in the event of an emergency. Especially someone who has to get all her kids out and might forget her neighbor’s kid when she’s focusing on her own.

Incorrect. Women have forgotten their own child in their rush out of the house during a fire. Once a person begins panicking they'd forget their own head if it weren't attached to their shoulders.

BTW I live in an apartment where if we wouldn't deliberately tune it out we'd be able to overhear our neighbor's conversations. I once asked my neighbor to listen in if any of my kids wake up with my door open (she left hers wide open too) and went to the supermarket. Was that neglectful? If so, how?

amother

Emerald

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 5:06 pm

I personally know the OP from the sheitelmacher appointment thread and:

#1 - the neighbor she left the monitor with is a newlywed with no children. She was reluctant to take it any other time but this time she heard 15 minutes so she was ok with it.
#2 - if there is chv a fire in the apartment the alarm would ring by her at the same time as well
#3 - its a single family home with just the 2 tenants on one floor so anyone going up there is because they live there.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 6:42 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Can you explain why she started a thread with a post that sounded like she was asking if it was ok, then suddenly switched to sound very forceful as to being absolutely convinced everyone chiming in was wrong? Because she did not come across as genuine in the slightest bit. Just sounded bored with extra time on her hands. Enough time to write about her "dilemma" before, during, and after the purported appointment.

amother

Copper

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 6:44 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

So she was in the mood to troll everyone. Cute.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 6:51 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

So she was in the mood to troll everyone. Cute.

I think she wanted validation but didnt get it? But then she asked me and several others in real life and was told it definitely IS perfectly ok and perfectly normal what she is doing

Blessing1

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 6:55 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Her original question was if she can leave the child alone without a monitor. And she thought it's funny that we're over reacting.

Last edited by Blessing1 on Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Emerald

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 6:59 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Her original question was if she can leave the child alone without a monitor. And she thought it's funny that we're over reacting.

I think the original question was misunderstood. She never would have done such an irresponsible thing. This mother wouldnt leave her child alone for anything this was an exception and so she used the monitor.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:01 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

I think she wanted validation but didnt get it? But then she asked me and several others in real life and was told it definitely IS perfectly ok and perfectly normal what she is doing

So she had time to be writing on the internet every few minutes, asking people in real time, AND run out for an appointment? All in the space of about an hour? I don't buy it.

Blessing1

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:02 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

It was not misunderstood. Her question was "Am I allowed to leave my sleeping child alone while I go to the sheitel macher? I forgot to plug in the monitor." How can this be misunderstood?
If she would never do such an irresponsible thing, she wouldn't have said LOL and laughing emoji's at our reactions.
Are you the OP and trying to justify yourself?

Blessing1

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:27 pm

gamanit wrote:

Yes, it is neglectful to leave your front door wide open when your kids are at home alone.

gamanit

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:29 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Yes, it is neglectful to leave your front door wide open when your kids are at home alone.

I believe I mentioned that I'm in an apartment? The door downstairs was locked. It's just our two apartments on my floor.

Blessing1

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:31 pm

gamanit wrote:

I believe I mentioned that I'm in an apartment? The door downstairs was locked. It's just our two apartments on my floor.

An apartment building doesn't make it safe. Anyone from a different floor can buzz others in. Or anyone from a different floor can wander into your apartment.

gamanit

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:47 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

An apartment building doesn't make it safe. Anyone from a different floor can buzz others in. Or anyone from a different floor can wander into your apartment.

Huh? 1) I'm not in an apartment building 2) we don't have a door buzzer 3) if my downstairs neighbor were to come up my neighbor on my floor would hear the stairs creaking and come look- remember her door is open too. You're jumping to conclusions.

Blessing1

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:51 pm

gamanit wrote:

Even if the downstairs door is locked but afew families live in the same building, how is it safe to leave your door wide open? I don't get it.

gamanit

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:56 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Even if the downstairs door is locked but afew families live in the same building, how is it safe to leave your door wide open? I don't get it.

I'm still trying to see where the danger would be. There is a grand total of three occupied units including mine. I know all my neighbors well. What's the risk?

Blessing1

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 9:03 pm

gamanit wrote:

I'm still trying to see where the danger would be. There is a grand total of three occupied units including mine. I know all my neighbors well. What's the risk?

Don't delivery guys come into the building? Neighbors guests? I'd feel uneasy leaving my front door wide open with my kids sleeping inside alone.

gamanit

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 9:05 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Don't delivery guys come into the building? Neighbors guests? I'd feel uneasy leaving my front door wide open with my kids sleeping inside alone.

Nopes. No one comes in unless someone goes down to unlock the door for them. As I said I only did this once but just because I don't want to inconvenience my neighbor. I do believe that it's perfectly safe.