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Parenting young adults at home re pandemic, a.a.w.

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 5:12 pm
So all advice welcome, no matter your age.

This is new. Usually 16-24's are out at dorms etc. Or have long work/school hours and are never home. But now lots are home.

I am lost. Really. I do not know how to do this well.

It presents new challenges. Bring me some wisdom.

Specific issues:

Electronics all day, like 24/6

Not pitching in, they dont stop with the devices for anything. It feels like they are past the point where consequences are appropriate. Yet....nagging is a no go....yet I cannot let the resentment build in me....

They need to move. Pitch in. They happily agree. Just does not happen.

Enlighten me to ways that work/ worked. For you as a parent or you at that age.
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 5:26 pm
No school or jobs they are busy with?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 5:38 pm
Yes, there are. Virtually. And between classes/work they are still electronically connected. But I cannot clean & feed for so many adults and do my own job too. Nor is it right. They need to learn to be responsible, some kids do this easier than mine or younger but mine are a little slow to get there and not sure how to go about it.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 5:41 pm
Put down some strict ground rules about electronics and helping around the house. Be very clear with what you need done. Your house, your rules.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 5:43 pm
They are adults and should be equally responsible for household chores and tasks. I would make a list of daily tasks and ask them to sign next to the ones they'll be responsible for. For starters. If that's the biggest issue.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 5:44 pm
Put a passcode on the router. Only turn on the internet during class and work hours.

Does your DH back you up on your feelings, or do you have trouble getting him off the phone too? If you could get his support, you could turn the tide - maybe.

Another thought: All of these adult kids are old enough to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Quit cooking for them! Don't do their laundry, either.

Do your basic cleaning. Pick up their junk and throw it on their beds. Act like they're not home as much as possible. If they want to behave like independent adults and do their own thing, give them a taste of what it's like when they don't have mommy to take care of them.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 6:14 pm
Indigo & babyblue, exactly. But they readily agree & nothing gets done in reality. This is where I am stuck. So I think nag? No. Constantly on me to remind & supervise? No. Banging head
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 6:55 pm
What are the specific chores that need to be done?
I think you need to be specific and assign each to a specific person, with a timeline, and specific methods or materials to use.
For example, instead of a vague, clean up the kitchen, enumerate: dishes after meal x, wipe counter down nightly, sweep floor 3x a week on these days, take out the garbage when the bag is full before night falls. Instead of having 3 people who have jobs that overlap in the same room and they get in each other's way, spread them out around the house. Try to divide evenly and make sure it works around their class/work schedule.
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