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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 6:15 pm
My Dear Fellow Yidden,

Last night I was zocheh to attend a beautiful wedding. May the couple build a bayis neeman b'yisroel, and may we all be zocheh to go oif simchas!

Due to the current situation with corona virus, the event was held outdoors. The elegantly set tables were spread out, and the seating at each table was more sparse than usual to allow for social distancing. Masks were generously provided to all guests.

The simcha of the chosson, kallah, family and friends was palpable, and the joyous dancing was lively. As I looked around, I observed that many people were wearing their masks on their wrists or not at all. It occurred to me, how highly probable it is that someone here has corona virus and is not aware of it. In fact, since most of the guests are from communities that are experiencing the current uptick, it is very likely that several guests are carrying and thus shedding and spreading it to others.

Some of you may ask, "What's the big deal about that?", while others might ask, "What can we do about that?". Those are both excellent questions that we all ought to contemplate. I will try to address and answer them as best as I can.

With all the confusion about covid-19, doctors all agree that we are far from reaching herd immunity. In addition, as we move further away from the onset of this pandemic, the reinfection rate is seemingly increasing. If we continue to allow the virus to spread, many people will get infected. Some will be mildly sick, others more seriously ill, some may be left with long-term chronic conditions, and still others will pay with their life. Due to more knowledge and better treatments available, less people may die, but how many deaths should we ignore? Are we not the nation that values every single life above anything else? It is our Torah that has taught us that nothing is more valuable than life itself.

Also, when people are mildly or moderately sick, it can be a major inconvenience to many. Mommies cannot get sick as they are needed to care for their children, rebbeim and teachers cannot get sick as we need them to educate our children, rabbonim cannot get sick as we need them to lead us, business owners and employees cannot get sick as they need the parnassah, healthcare workers cannot get sick since we need them now more than ever, etc. Would you cause someone to be sick for a day, a week, a few weeks or chas v’shalom more if you could help it?

We must therefore do our utmost to contain the virus and stop it from infecting others as much as possible. If you are wearing your mask, social distancing and paying attention to hygiene, you are doing your part, as we all beg Hashem to put an end to this. When the virus is unable to find another host, it cannot replicate itself, which will reduce or eliminate its presence in our community and in the world.

As I donned my mask and danced merrily, I was saddened. I was deeply pained by the fact that I could not share my smile with the kallah, and that I could not see the smile of those who were masked. I was tempted to rip the mask off my face when I realized that I may not decide that my smile is more important than another life. May we all do the right thing so that Hashem will look down and smile at all of us.

May we be zoche to simchas, refuos and the geula shleima b'mheira!
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amother




Taupe
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 6:26 pm
Who goes to weddings... Sad
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thanks




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 6:29 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
Who goes to weddings... Sad

Where are you? I want to come be your neighbor. It's ridiculous what goes on here.

I actually think weddings should go on, but with caution, and everyone needs to cooperate. The baalei simcha cannot be enforcing masks and social distancing. We all need to do our part.
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 6:35 pm
Op I'm confused, didn't you say the wedding was outside, small, and SD? Used to be the standard for not wearing mask in those conditions. Though I sometimes do anyway.

Sounds like it met all the protocols and was a model for everyone.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 7:32 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
Op I'm confused, didn't you say the wedding was outside, small, and SD? Used to be the standard for not wearing mask in those conditions. Though I sometimes do anyway.

Sounds like it met all the protocols and was a model for everyone.


Social distancing at the dinner, but not during dancing. There were actually a lot of people and the dance floor was very crowded. People holding hands and dancing together the way we used to do. Crying
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 7:40 pm
I am not attending simchos these days. They are in full swing every night though.
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:01 pm
I went to a crowded outdoor vort and was one of about two people wearing a mask. I’m sure weddings here are the same, except indoors.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:06 pm
Garbage bags on the windows, lights closed at the door.
Otherwise, BUSINESS as usual.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:14 pm
I think outdoors masks are not mandated. 100 percent those without masks had corona already and have tested recently for antibodies. You dont lose antibodies in 2 weeks. Its a slow process. So enjoy the weddings. This was a very safe prudent wedding. The ones young and old that have conditions should wear masks. My heart goes out to them but they are at risk all the time and they should wear masks. Kids and teens locked down 5 months was enough. And just pressure and use your full energy on government to allow hydroxycloroquine.
And ima of the last post, Please delete your post, this is so disgusting and possible mesira, lets say incitement for sure (did I spell it right?), stop looking for trouble for am ysroel. You need more tzoros ?
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:16 pm
Ima Mustard please delete your post, it is not a nice one. The media including fake imas are waiting for such comments like yours
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:16 pm
Oh well I wouldn't dance and hold hands. I would be outside and SD.

there is a new big danish study out showing that masks might not be as effective as hoped...

davening Hashem Ends this mageifa as suddenly as it arrived
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amother




Silver
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:25 pm
BH the chasunas aren't driveways and a minyan on each side of the fence. But in the midwest we are still doing backyard chasunas and they're quite beautiful.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:33 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
I think outdoors masks are not mandated. 100 percent those without masks had corona already and have tested recently for antibodies. You dont lose antibodies in 2 weeks. Its a slow process. So enjoy the weddings. This was a very safe prudent wedding. The ones young and old that have conditions should wear masks. My heart goes out to them but they are at risk all the time and they should wear masks. Kids and teens locked down 5 months was enough. And just pressure and use your full energy on government to allow hydroxycloroquine.
And ima of the last post, Please delete your post, this is so disgusting and possible mesira, lets say incitement for sure (did I spell it right?), stop looking for trouble for am ysroel. You need more tzoros ?

Masks are required outdoors when one cannot be socially distant.
The baalei simcha did their part by selecting the outdoor venue, spreading out the tables and providing masks.

I wish it were true that only people that recently recovered and have antibodies did not wear a mask.

Thats why I wrote this letter. It's really up to all of us.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 9:24 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
Oh well I wouldn't dance and hold hands. I would be outside and SD.

there is a new big danish study out showing that masks might not be as effective as hoped...

davening Hashem Ends this mageifa as suddenly as it arrived


Right now, there seems to be a concensus by most conventional medical professionals that masks help stop the spread of respiratory droplets that contain the virus.

There are some studies that disagree, and people who are looking for them will deffinately find them.

Davening with you.
ישועת ה כהרף עין
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amother




White
 

Post  Fri, Oct 23 2020, 1:41 am
I feel the same. In a few weeks I have a wedding and it is in new York indoors and the kallahs mother will be very offended if I don't come and does t understand why I wouldn't come. There will be no masks indoors and I would probably be the only one wearing a mask:( and there will be dancing etc just like a normal wedding used to be. I want to call the authorities but I won't maaser on a yid....but why should we be put in these situations. It is disrespectful and wrong.
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thanks




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 23 2020, 10:46 am
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Garbage bags on the windows, lights closed at the door.
Otherwise, BUSINESS as usual.

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
Ima Mustard pleasse delete your post, it is not a nice one. The media including fake imas are waiting for such comments like yours


I don't understand this. If you're OK with doing this, what are you trying to hide, and if you think it's wrong, why wouldn't you call them out?

Oh, I guess you really think they are going to continue to get away with doing this. That is totally absurd. People doing this will get caught, and blame it on anti semetism or on whoever they think might have exposed them.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post  Fri, Oct 23 2020, 11:41 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
I feel the same. In a few weeks I have a wedding and it is in new York indoors and the kallahs mother will be very offended if I don't come and does t understand why I wouldn't come. There will be no masks indoors and I would probably be the only one wearing a mask:( and there will be dancing etc just like a normal wedding used to be. I want to call the authorities but I won't maaser on a yid....but why should we be put in these situations. It is disrespectful and wrong.


We were invited to a Bar Mitzvah of people who expected us to come, but it's taking place in an overpacked shul with no masks. We told them that we'd love to come, but we have no antibodies and some elevated risk factors, so our doctor told us we shouldn't go.

I obviously can't read minds, but they definitely seemed understanding and okay with that. By making it non-political and "blaming" it on your doctor and your health situation, it becomes very straightforward and non-personal. Maybe that could work for you?
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imasoftov




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Oct 24 2020, 12:35 pm
Open live stream, go on working (or whatever you do to avoid work) in another window
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Sat, Oct 24 2020, 1:14 pm
I don’t understand.
At this point everyone has to fend for themselves. If you feel that u cannot get sick then do not go to weddings of simchas. I’m not saying don’t go to the grocery store or out to buy essentials but if you’re so upset by what’s going on and feel so strongly that the weddings are wrong DONT GO!
There are people out there- myself included- that already got the virus and are ready to resume life and you know what if I get sick again so be it. I’ll get over it. I will not live like we did back pesach time again. It’s not the solution. Life must go on we’re ruining more lives than we are saving bec of the way it’s being dealt with.
Basically what I’m saying is you have to make the decision for yourself. If you’re gonna be upset seeing the weddings and the girls and boys dancing bsimcha then you don’t belong there. No excuses. Period.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Oct 24 2020, 1:55 pm
I went to a wedding like you describe yet we all wore masks and they weren't even tables to sit down at. Food was single portions and everyone sat in chairs distanced and had a little food. After dancing and the guests left the immediate family of chosson and kallah had their seudah.

There's no reason to have a seudah with about of extended family and friends. The chosson and kallah do not even carefor heavens sake!
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