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Playgroup toddler difficulties
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:43 pm
watergirl wrote:
I agree, a new playgroup may be the best move. The teacher is wrong to be so fast to label and she sounds authoritarian. The trouble is, this late in the year, we all know how hard that can be to find.

I used to be a preschool teacher. I understand why the morah would not allow her toys in the arts and crafts area; its begging for the lovey to get painted, glued, cut, etc. Ask the morah if you can send your own lovey with your daughter moving forward, and make sure she understands that you are ok with projects not being "done properly".

The morah does sound like she does not understand the age. Having said that, now may be as good a time as any for your daughter to learn that we can not always have a doll under in the hand. Some things really do need two hands to make work, and at this age when children develop so rapidly, I can see how the morah would prefer she has two hands available for activities that need two hands. For example, your daughter can not cut paper or glue with one hand on a doll. These things need fine motor skills and two handed cooperation and I agree, she needs to put it down to do them.


Thanks for such a detailed And clear response. She does activities just fine without holding a doll or toy. I think it's a security thing and it might be that she's still transitioning to not being home all day and needed to hold onto something for security. I feel like had she felt safe and happy after a few weeks the dolls in her hands would fall away.
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:46 pm
She's a toddler barely out of babyhood. This makes me so sad. I wouldn't send her back. No way.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:48 pm
straightalk wrote:
Thanks for such a detailed And clear response. She does activities just fine without holding a doll or toy. I think it's a security thing and it might be that she's still transitioning to not being home all day and needed to hold onto something for security. I feel like had she felt safe and happy after a few weeks the dolls in her hands would fall away.

I think you are right and you know your child. The morah should be professional enough to give her a good amount of time to adjust. Have you spoken to her?
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:52 pm
Can you share a little more about the playgroup? Like how many kids are in it and how many staff? Is it in the teacher's home?

If the playgroup is understaffed, that may explain her resentment at any child who makes "more work" for her. And it would be a definite confirmation that it's not a good place for a child (although it already sounds pretty bad to me).
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mommyla




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:56 pm
Poor baby Crying She goes from toy to toy in the first week of playgroup? She's excited about all the new toys! Get her out of there yesterday.
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:00 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
Can you share a little more about the playgroup? Like how many kids are in it and how many staff? Is it in the teacher's home?

If the playgroup is understaffed, that may explain her resentment at any child who makes "more work" for her. And it would be a definite confirmation that it's not a good place for a child (although it already sounds pretty bad to me).


She has only 8 kids but her assistant gave birth and she's alone! She has a cleaning lady here and there but for the most part of running the place alone. That is a valid issue you raised and could very well be what's going on.thank you! You're brilliant
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:07 pm
straightalk wrote:
She has only 8 kids but her assistant gave birth and she's alone! She has a cleaning lady here and there but for the most part of running the place alone. That is a valid issue you raised and could very well be what's going on.thank you! You're brilliant

Yikes. It's her responsibility to hire a substitute for the assistant. What does she do when she has to go to the bathroom?
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:14 pm
watergirl wrote:
Yikes. It's her responsibility to hire a substitute for the assistant. What does she do when she has to go to the bathroom?

Well I sure hope the kids aren't alone while she's in the bathroom. She can have her place shut down pretty quick if anything goes wrong.
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amother




Oak
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:18 pm
Run and please don’t send your daughter back.
This was painful to read. This teacher is severely lacking in basic child development.
I am so sorry your daughter had to go through this Crying
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:19 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Run and please don’t send your daughter back.
This was painful to read. This teacher is severely lacking in basic child development.
I am so sorry your daughter had to go through this Crying

Literally tearing up reading this. I am so sad for her. I am not sending her back iyh. She's already getting her sparkle in her eyes back being near her mommy today
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:20 pm
straightalk wrote:
Well I sure hope the kids aren't alone while she's in the bathroom. She can have her place shut down pretty quick if anything goes wrong.

If she is the only one there, then who is the person with them when she is in the bathroom?
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:24 pm
watergirl wrote:
If she is the only one there, then who is the person with them when she is in the bathroom?

When we started she told me she will get a sub and it never happened. I honestly have no idea how she responsibly uses the bathroom..
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 5:09 am
straightalk wrote:
Literally tearing up reading this. I am so sad for her. I am not sending her back iyh. She's already getting her sparkle in her eyes back being near her mommy today


I'm glad to hear this. I was so sorry for your baby! Just turning 3 is a scary age for kids, and they often need their transitional objects specifically at this time.

It sounds like that morah doesn't like kids very much, and she's just in it for the money, because she's not qualified to do anything else. (And I would argue that she's not qualified to be a morah, either.)

Kids that age (babies!) do not need to learn how to respect authority, or to adjust to structure, or to color inside the lines. What they NEED is creative play, love, and a sense of security. Between 2 and 5 you can slowly start introducing them to the concepts of elementary school, but you can't just force them to suddenly adapt to a schedule like that when they're still in diapers.

B'H you listened to your instincts OP. I hope you find a suitable placement soon.
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