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Please help me convince my child to homeschool
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:28 am
I want to pull him out of school for limudei chol. It's just one dysfunction after another all afternoon. A principal that won't guide or train his teachers. Teachers that kick several kids out of class regularly. And just general unprofessional attitudes to teaching. (They are not trained teachers and not interested in developing their craft)

I taught in that building so I know. I know this school just falls apart come afternoon. It's so awful.

I'm so dejected. I'd rather he come home, eat a decent lunch, and work on his general studies at his own pace in a calmer environment.

He doesn't want to miss out on the social stuff. And I get that. But the class as a whole is just not being managed. And the teachers are really not interested in trying anything. In fact when I told them that I never pursued a diagnosis but that there are clear executive functioning issues. His teacher asked "what's executive functioning?" Banging head

There are no parallel classes to move him to. And no other school for at least 45 min away...

Help me convince my son to just come home to learn for the afternoon!?!?
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:30 am
If you're not happy with the school I would consider switching to a school you could be happy with the whole day
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:32 am
You dont say how old your son is but FOMO is real. I think you are asking for a lot from a kid to miss his friends all afternoon. I agree with amother pearl that switching schools is better in the long term.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:41 am
He's 11. But the reality is that I don't want to send him on a 45 min bus ride and I don't know if he can handle that switch socially. I am very happy with the limudei kodesh of the school and have always been. So far I haven't had a decent limudei chol year since he was 9. It's partly him and mostly that hiring a rebbe with training seems to be more manageable for this school to do than a general studies teacher who is trained to be a teacher...
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:42 am
Would you get him a tutor or something after school to brush up his limidei chol? At this age social pressure is a big thing
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:49 am
flowerpower wrote:
Would you get him a tutor or something after school to brush up his limidei chol? At this age social pressure is a big thing


I'm more concerned with how he is being treated by the "adults"

He hasn't learned a thing. And I'm not ok with that.

But the frequent punitive discipline is disheartening.
Kicking out of class. Docking recess. And taking away bathroom "privileges" all for one infraction. It's extreme. And the limudeinchol principal is in covid land just trying to keep the building open. (Although I don't feel he is interested in managing his school in any other respect anyway)

The teacher didn't even remember exactly what happened. Just that he is taking all that away.

And this is normal and frequently happening. And not only with my child. It's just the go to classroom management technique.

Each year it's another absurd thing. I don't understand why these people who didn't want to be teachers to begin with insist on running a classroom ... And like this.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:51 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He's 11. But the reality is that I don't want to send him on a 45 min bus ride and I don't know if he can handle that switch socially. I am very happy with the limudei kodesh of the school and have always been. So far I haven't had a decent limudei chol year since he was 9. It's partly him and mostly that hiring a rebbe with training seems to be more manageable for this school to do than a general studies teacher who is trained to be a teacher...


A 45 minute bus ride is pretty normal even for local schools. My girls are on the bus 45 minutes and their school is 5 minutes away.
Aren't there other kids in the community that go to the other school?
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OOTforlife




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:54 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
A 45 minute bus ride is pretty normal even for local schools. My girls are on the bus 45 minutes and their school is 5 minutes away.
Aren't there other kids in the community that go to the other school?

This. If he goes with a handful of local kids, I think it will feel normal.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:57 am
OOTforlife wrote:
This. If he goes with a handful of local kids, I think it will feel normal.


Yes and they're learning some interesting things on the bus ride ... 🥴
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:58 am
Are there any homeschoolers here that have any advice in how to make this exciting for him?
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 10:58 am
At age 11 I would not switch schools. Its not fair to the kid. Really! Unless he himself is miserable there.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:00 am
flowerpower wrote:
At age 11 I would not switch schools. Its not fair to the kid. Really! Unless he himself is miserable there.


I feel the same way. That's why I'm looking to make a compromise of staying for the better half if the day.
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:35 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I feel the same way. That's why I'm looking to make a compromise of staying for the better half if the day.


That’s not really a compromise. They end up missing out on whatever goes on the other half if the day. Sometimes it’s brought up in the morning..

I can imagine that some kids might perceive him as weird now too
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:42 am
Yeah I’ll go ahead and agree with those who say to not take away this fun from him. Social life is important.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:43 am
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
That’s not really a compromise. They end up missing out on whatever goes on the other half if the day. Sometimes it’s brought up in the morning..

I can imagine that some kids might perceive him as weird now too


The kids want to come learn with me also. I was their teacher a few years ago. It's a small school and the kids are very nice to each other. I love the kids. I love the families. My son is well loved by his classmates. That won't change.

Just not a fan of the afternoon antics by the school part.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:46 am
Zehava wrote:
Yeah I’ll go ahead and agree with those who say to not take away this fun from him. Social life is important.


So what do I do about the phone calls and assignments and recess being docked and bathroom "privileges"

Do I just suck it up? Let him suffer the consequences even if it really is excessive?
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:50 am
Have you asked him how that makes him feel? Sometimes as a mother I assume my son (10) feels a certain way about a situation and often times I am very wrong lol. I think the first step is talking to him.
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:55 am
Not simple. Honestly, I would be surprised if the school even allowed a half day student. What would you do for Color War, or if a program gets started in the afternoon one day and continued in the morning the next? How would tuition work? You'd probably have to pay for the whole day even if you don't use it, because they can't add a student instead of him. And a real question- do you have evidence (and these days, you might) that he learns well on his own, away from his peers and recess activity etc, taught by his mother?

I get that you hate how the afternoon is being run. Can you tell us how he is showing being affected by it?
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:55 am
Just so you understand a little on the flip side. Boys classroom is run very different than girls classroom.

My husband is an English teacher and he tries really hard to get a lot of work done with the kids.
The school has an excellent curriculum. He really tries to have complete control but it can get difficult.

On his rough days the boys can get rowdy and his tough students can disrupt the class

The way they discipline is waaay different when women teachers discipline.

I would say speak with your son and teacher.
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pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:58 am
I would work with the English teacher as much as possible. Keep being in touch with him and providing resources. A little money tip here and there. Give positive feedback too. When a parent is very involved, the teacher is more likely to think twice before punishing that kid.

Last edited by pause on Fri, Oct 30 2020, 11:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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