Is ODD a thing? Spinoff gentle parenting thread

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:42 am

nchr wrote:

But would that have been the case if his parents disciplined him since he was 2? Before he became so wild.

The kid I am talking about displayed those characteristics way before the age of 2. Sometimes there truly is brain chemistry at play.

amother

Denim

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:43 am

Zehava wrote:

I didn’t know this. DD had recurrent ear infections as a toddler. Could it be presenting as ADHD? If yes would antibiotics cure it at this point?

most ear infections are caused by strep bacteria. antibiotics might not suffice at this point, as the inflammation has likely become chronic. also, if all those infections were treated with antibiotics, there is probably significant gut dysbiosis at play

nchr

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:45 am

Jewishmom8 wrote:

Sorry but you have no idea what you are talking about. There is so much wrong with this post.
I find it disturbing that instead of feeling bad and empathetic for your friend you decided to judge and put her down.

I do feel bad for her, but I also recognize that her children have no limits. I'm not judging her she is a result of her experiences as much as I am of mine. I also feel bad for the kids who have no limits and will probably grow up to be hated by their peers and spoiled rotten.

Last edited by nchr on Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:47 am; edited 1 time in total

Zehava

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:46 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

So interesting. Her doctor is always finding strept antibodies in her blood work. She hasn’t been on that much antibiotics as I didn’t always treat.
What would you suggest at this point?

nchr

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:46 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Where did you get that info from? Most ear infections are from different bacteria including strep but not only strep.

amother

Denim

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:46 am

crust wrote:

Let's keep the gentle parenting thread gentle.

Is ODD a thing?

You can discuss it here.

I think the question should be, can gentle parenting [exclusively] work for kids with odd and add? I would add, what about asd? Is it realistic? Is it helpful?

amother

Denim

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:48 am

nchr wrote:

Where did you get that info from? Most ear infections are from different bacteria including strep but not only strep.

not only strep, but strep in included in the most common ones. Granted, it's not the same strep that causes strep throat. Regardless, the kid has a history of recurrent bacterial infections. That tells you a lot about the state of their microbiome and immune system, and thus, their nervous system.

Zehava

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:52 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

It’s confusing because
A. There’s a strong family history of ADHD
B. She’s been consistently the same since birth. She cried a lot as a newborn.
But if there’s a treatment I can try that might help her focus and regulate I’d love to give it a try.

amother

Denim

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:57 am

Zehava wrote:

there may be a strong predisposition in the family to this type of neuroinflammation. the crying as a newborn may have had many organic causes that contributed or occur together with this predisposition, ie, gut dysbiosis, food sensitivities, methylation errors, etc. Alternately, she may have been born with a certain level of neuroinflammation already, but that doesn't mean it's purely genetic and irreversible. More that her environment in utero already played on her predisposed genes.

Zehava

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:04 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

You mean all the junk I ate
So we’re now getting into diet
Tachlis. What kind of treatment would help for this?

amother

Denim

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:14 pm

Zehava wrote:

You mean all the junk I ate
So we’re now getting into diet
Tachlis. What kind of treatment would help for this?

no I wasn't thinking about what you ate. More about the pathogenic load you carry, your microbiome and what you did or didn't pass on, genetic vulnerabilities, etc

nchr

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:14 pm

keym wrote:

Yes. This child at 18 months when hurt (by mistake, in playgroup, playground) would get enraged, run to a nearby child and shove, push, hit, bite.
If he would be smacked, he would go take out his agression on his parents or another person- the baby or whatever.
That's besides the point of potching a baby for wildness.

I have no idea how this child behaved at 18 months old, but somehow I cannot imagine a child farfeering with real good petch. BH I don't have such a child and cannot judge but I think most kids who have behavioral problems like ODD could be placed in line, there would be a few who are obviously extreme. I'm just sure a child recognizes limits and could control himself if the consequence was very uncomfortable.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:15 pm

Zehava, do u have any autoimmune disorder? Thyroid etc? Were u near ticks during pregnancy? Autoimmune disorders run in families and autoantibodies can cross placenta...or your or her could have been infected with Lyme very early on. Lyme also crosses placenta (CDC has finally acknowledged this cuz babies have been born with Lyme Disease).
If she has chronically high strep antibodies and displays PANDAS behaviours, I would look into treating it, either naturally or with knowledgeable PANDAS doctor.

amother

Denim

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:18 pm

nchr wrote:

we got real good petch as kids, and we still farfeered and farfeered and farfeered.

keym

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:20 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

we got real good petch as kids, and we still farfeered and farfeered and farfeered.

I don't know what farfeered means.
I'm assuming wild misbehaving.

nchr

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:21 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

we got real good petch as kids, and we still farfeered and farfeered and farfeered.

Your entire family has ODD?

nchr

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:24 pm

farfeer in this context is to just make sure to not cave and get his way.

Last edited by nchr on Tue, Nov 17 2020, 3:05 pm; edited 2 times in total

crust

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:25 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

I think the question should be, can gentle parenting [exclusively] work for kids with odd and add? I would add, what about asd? Is it realistic? Is it helpful?

I think it is impossible to have one discussion about the three things you list. .

As it is right now we're not even on one page about ODD on this thread so I think its impossible to have a discussion even about each item separately because so much depends on the child and on the perception that the parent has about the child.

As long as magazines need to have with what to fill up their weekly qouta there will be diagnosis like mushrooms.

I'm not minimizing ADD or ASD or medication or using assertion when needed.

I'm saying that much of the way we perceive our children is shaped by what we hear in our environment.

It pays to take a step back and make sure we aren't too influenced before we think a child has something.

amother

Linen

Tue, Nov 17 2020, 12:34 pm

I dont beleive so. I believe it is a combination of mismatched parenting types with childrens personatities and needs not being met in a needed way. Its not the parents fault because you cannot change the personality of the parent or the child but when it goes head to head difficulties develop. But there are techniques and things that can be learned to improve the situation & outcome.