why would someone who barely knows me want to add me to FB?

Lechatchila Ariber

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 9:31 pm

I'm unsure what's the deal with this facebook thing.
I can understand some people like it to keep in touch with family and friends but why would someone I have nothing to do with want to add me to her friend list? And then I get a friend request from someone I'm thinking...who on earth is that?
I look at the picture and she looks vaguely vaguely familiar and I guess since we have 2 friends in common, I maybe am supposed to know her, and maybe its just that she is a friend of a friend but what does she want with having me on her friend list?

I'd like to keep my friend list to people I have a shaychus with: Friends, relatives, or people I have a history with like old classmates.

So how do I respectfully decline these sort of requests from people who sort of know me without being rude and insulting them?

Crayon210

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 9:33 pm

If you decline, they won't know (I.e., they don't get a note saying "rejected"). They would realize if they happen to check your profile and see that it says "add as a friend" instead of "pending friend request", but they'd either think that they had made a mistake, or they'd need to get a MAJOR life.

GetReal

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 9:37 pm

There's a way to let Fscebook go through contact list from your email or AIM and ask all those ppl to be your friend. So this person may have once emailed you - once upon a time - and you got into their contact list, and they're not specifically asking to be your friend. And like Crayon said, they won't know you rejected them.

waterbottle

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 9:37 pm

1) I love Facebook.
2) Give people the benefit of the doubt - You should message her back and say "um.. do I know you?" then she can explain herself and if you find it to be inadequate you respond "No Sorry I only add people who I'm friends with" It will help give you an edge on the internet.
3) Maybe she just wants to see pictures of your sheitel (I get so excited by sheitels that I want to see pics of random frum women)
4) Some people think that having frumkeit in common is grounds for Facebook be-friending

On a side note. I grew up in a rural area and am BT and I used to use the internet to find other Jewish people and the relationships I developed over the internet helped me on my journey to Frumkeit. The internet has great Kiruv potential!

Mimisinger

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 9:38 pm

I had people who I went to elemntary school with and I didn't even talk to them then!

I've also had random people that friended me and I don't know who they are.

I think I may delete someone who I thought I knew, but, turns out, I don't.

Lechatchila Ariber

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 9:40 pm

GetReal wrote:

I know what you mean, I've gotten those kinds of emails from people but this isn't that. She must have seen me on the list of the 2 friends we have in common and added me.

immale

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:11 am

people should be careful with fb just like all open internet access , there are also all sorts of weirdos who like sending unsuitable images to people, fb is also a great way for 'big brother' to access your life . people post all sorts of personal information forgetting that the virtual world is not your living room, lots of companies are making money off fb but I am sure it has some good points. just remember to be careful what you say.

Akeres Habayis

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:32 am

the first thing I thought of,was maybe u left an impression on her and when she saw u had facebook,she thought this was an opportunity to get to know u,to learn from u.
how many times we run into someone that seems to have it together,kids,dress,learning and u say to yourself"this is someone I can learn from,I'd like to know her better.
just athought,take it as a compliment

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 10:28 am

I deactivated my account at that point.
When most of the requests were from non-friends (read: 10th graders in my hometown, ex-consultant from my office who I haven't seen in 2 years and spoke to only a handful of times, last straw was a male....I said, forget it. I barely logged on, only signed up to join a tehillim group, and I was denying requests left and right (the first one actually was someone I never even heard of) and I just didn't see the point.
Apologies to all those who were my friends (all 4? of you), but I felt like there was no purpose and it was not a place I wanted to be part of.

chayitty

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 11:48 am

I agree with u when getting friend requests from people u really never heard of..or when getting requests from men....but I dont agree with u about people u know from the past.
im just trying to figure out wat is the big deal in having peoples names on ur friedns list???? so they send u a measage every now and then??? if the measages are not appripriote then fine..but otherwise I think its sort of a snobby thing to say
(not that I know any of u personally so im really just genralising)

GetReal

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 11:56 am

chayitty wrote:

im just trying to figure out wat is the big deal in having peoples names on ur friedns list???? so they send u a measage every now and then??? if the measages are not appripriote then fine..but otherwise I think its sort of a snobby thing to say
(not that I know any of u personally so im really just genralising)

Once someone is on your friend list they can see all your pics, and I'm not comfortable with ppl I barely know seeing my family pics.

DefyGravity

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:03 pm

On the rare occasion that I get a request from someone I don't know (or barely know), I don't accept their friend request.

chayitty

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:08 pm

Quote:

Once someone is on your friend list they can see all your pics, and I'm not comfortable with ppl I barely know seeing my family pics.

well did u know that if one of ur friends leaves u a comment then all that persons friends can see ur pics???
just letting u know since it seems that it might bother u

DefyGravity

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:25 pm

GetReal wrote:

chayitty wrote:

Once someone is on your friend list they can see all your pics, and I'm not comfortable with ppl I barely know seeing my family pics.

Not if you know how to use privacy settings. I have a whole list of people that aren't able to see certain features of my profile.

chayitty

Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:32 pm

im a bit confused...can u please explain it better
I set my privacy setting that only my friends should be able to see my pics...now I know that if my friend leaves a comment on the pic...then theyre friend can see my pics....
so how deos this privacy setting of ur work?