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Normal for playgroup morah not to allow checking out group?

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

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amother

OP

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:35 pm

I just spoke to a morah for next year, and asked if I can come out the group. She said I can come after hours but not during the day as it upsets the routine. Does this make sense? The references I spoke to said she is so warm and loving, just very structured. Older 2s group

Success10

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:38 pm

I do hear where she's coming from. If she's the structured type, the last thing she needs is all the little kiddies stopping to stare at the visitor and the whole day's schedule being delayed. And imagine if a number of potential moms ask to do the same thing.

I would not consider this a red flag. I'd speak to other mothers who sent there.

26

amother

Orchid

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 4:39 pm

Imo sounds like she has something to hide

4

amother

Puce

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 5:13 pm

I'm also a morah (not same as Op's) and that's also my policy!
When I'm a morah, my job is to take care of the kids in my care not talk to mothers who are possibly interested in sending the following year!
(Eta: I do not have an assistant!)

24

cutestbaby

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 5:17 pm

I don't think it's necessarily a red flag, but it for sure could be one depending on your personality. I personally would not feel comfortable sending there, but it's your call

7

amother

Amber

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 5:21 pm

From what I have heard, this is a common policy among in-home daycares. You have to decide if you're comfortable with it.

For comparison, when sending to a larger daycare center, I was not only able to tour as a prospective parent, but was free to come inside at anytime during the day, without calling in advance, as long as I did not allow my child to see me.

The only informal rule was that, if your child did see you, they preferred you take the child home for the day because children get very upset if mommy or daddy comes and then leaves.

12

amother

Taupe

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:07 pm

It has never occurred to me to ask. One Morah actually insisted that I come check out the group, so I did. But I never did so otherwise. I find references I trust and if they’re happy, I sign up.

1

amother

Taupe

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:09 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

I'm also a morah (not same as Op's) and that's also my policy!
When I'm a morah, my job is to take care of the kids in my care not talk to mothers who are possibly interested in sending the following year!

The Morah I visited had an assistant so that might be the difference.

1

amother

Bronze

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:15 pm

To me that is a big red flag.

I would understand if she explained she couldn’t talk or answer any questions while she’s teaching, but I’m a big believer in overall transparency.

10

amother

OP

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:20 pm

She has an assistant. I’m not sure why she doesn’t let...it’s getting me nervous.....what’s she hiding?

3

amother

Blonde

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:22 pm

I don't see why they can't tell people when it's a good time to come. Not in lakewood but before I lived here I went to check out an in house playgroup. She told me to come at the end up nap time/ beginning of snack time. Also they can have a mother come and just sit on the side and observe for a few minutes, it doesn't have to be a whole tour with questions. Tours and questions can happen after hours, but it doesn't make sense to expect people to trust you and not allow anyone to observe at all.

12

amother

OP

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:24 pm

She said she doesn’t usually get this request. Maybe cuz she’s doing it for many years....and most current kids are siblings....

amother

Blue

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:35 pm

I'm a Morah in lakewood too. I always let parents come, though I don't always love it. It does disturb-especially for the playgroups that try to be very structured. In the future my plan is to tell parents to come during play, craft time, or meal time. And to let them know in advance that I am not available for conversations during their time here, but they are welcome to call later with any questions they had. I do have an assistant, but the bigger issue is that it distracts, and sometimes scares, the kids.

5

amother

Blonde

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She said she doesn’t usually get this request. Maybe cuz she’s doing it for many years....and most current kids are siblings....

Ask if you can just come to quietly observe during lunch or something like that. And you won't ask questions or look around during that time.

4

amother

Amber

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She has an assistant. I’m not sure why she doesn’t let...it’s getting me nervous.....what’s she hiding?

Does she send parents pictures occasionally during the day? If you know any current parents, would they let you take a look through their pictures? Obviously, those are going reflect what the provider wants to share, but even so sometimes they can reveal issues in my experience.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:42 pm

Sorry, major red flag to me.
I would only send to a Morah I could observe.

7

amother

Puce

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 7:30 pm

If you meet her after hours and see where she does playgroup, you can get a good idea of what she's like by shmoozing a little and asking a few questions!
What would you gain by seeing other kids there?
Call a few references!

1

Chayalle

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 7:36 pm

I'm curious, what would you hope to accomplish by observing the group?

I think meeting the Morah (after hours) is a great idea. I'm not sure, though, how beneficial it is to actually see her in action....and I do understand that it could be very disruptive to the group. Not to mention, in these times, added exposure to people who don't need to be there.

8

amother

OP

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 7:42 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I'm curious, what would you hope to accomplish by observing the group?

I think meeting the Morah (after hours) is a great idea. I'm not sure, though, how beneficial it is to actually see her in action....and I do understand that it could be very disruptive to the group. Not to mention, in these times, added exposure to people who don't need to be there.

Thank you for helping me be reasonable Smile

Smile

and make sense! So in the past I’ve always observed morahs to see the classroom, how the group is run, their style of teaching. I guess I could accomplish the same by meeting the morah and seeing the classroom after hours. I just never got a no, you can’t see my classroom during hours from any morah and Bh this isn’t my first kid in playgroup. I moved so it’s a new area and new morahs....

2

Chayalle

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 7:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for helping me be reasonable Smile

Smile

and make sense! So in the past I’ve always observed morahs to see the classroom, how the group is run, their style of teaching. I guess I could accomplish the same by meeting the morah and seeing the classroom after hours. I just never got a no, you can’t see my classroom during hours from any morah and Bh this isn’t my first kid in playgroup. I moved so it’s a new area and new morahs....

I can hear both sides, why a Morah doesn't want visitors (especially in these times!) and why you would want to see.

Personally, I always went off recommendations when I sent my kids to playgroup. However, in all fairness, I went by the recommendations of someone who had observed the Morah in action (close friend who used to observe kids in playgroups for professional reasons.)

I do think that a Morah could be opening herself up to distraction by hosting potential parents during playgroup hours.

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