Feeling bad about tip I gave to rebbi

amother

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:35 pm

We were in a rush to get to PTA and Dh wanted to give the Chanukah money at PTA, and asked how much. I knew we had a $50 in the drawer and I thought if I suggested $100 Dh would say "really? That much?" So I just said let's give $50, which we did.
Now I feel bad, I feel we should have given $100. I know we can give more on Purim but I still feel bad.

QueensMama

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:37 pm

You can also send a gift on Chanukah itself. I'm sure it will be appreciated!

amother

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:38 pm

QueensMama wrote:

You can also send a gift on Chanukah itself. I'm sure it will be appreciated!

What sort of gift would a rebbi appreciate?
(We gave a sefer along with the money, so I wouldn't send another sefer)

amother

Brunette

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:40 pm

I dont know what is normal in your area but I am guessing lots of people reading this are feeling even worse about their $18 checks

Ihatepotatoes

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Doesn't sound like a very low amount to me. Especially this year, when even if it were a small amount a rebbi would assume it's because people aren't doing well financially.

amother

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:44 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

I dont know what is normal in your area but I am guessing lots of people reading this are feeling even worse about their $18 checks

I live in Lakewood where apparantly it's standard to tip a rebbi as much as you can.
The reason for my feeling bad is because technically we could have given more. I'm annoyed that I cheaper out at the rebbi' expense. Had it not been an option to give more, I wouldn't feel guilty.

gold21

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:45 pm

$50 is a nice tip. Consider that Rebbe likely has 25 students. What is 25 times 50? $1,250. That's a nice Chanukah bonus.

QueensMama

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What sort of gift would a rebbi appreciate?
(We gave a sefer along with the money, so I wouldn't send another sefer)

Gift certificate to a Judaica store?

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What sort of gift would a rebbi appreciate?
(We gave a sefer along with the money, so I wouldn't send another sefer)

A thing of chocolates
Gift certificate to a judaica store (Or to a food establsihment)

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 8:06 pm

$50 is extremely generous.
You could send a card with a food item if you feel like you want to do more?
But really, it's very generous!

yksraya

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 8:25 pm

Don't feel bad. It's a nice Amount, especially that you also gave a sefer.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 8:50 pm

wow. I never gave a tip of more than $25 to any rebbi. and thats in 15 years of having multiple sons with rebbeim. cant afford more.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:08 pm

Its perfectly fine.
What's done is done. It is strange to give a tip with a sefer, and then a few days later give another gift. overkill.

Quote:

live in Lakewood where apparantly it's standard to tip a rebbi as much as you can.

lol. In Lakewood it's standard to do everything as much as you can.

yonabets

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:12 pm

Just curious:
How many times of the year you give a tip to rebbis?
Is it something American or just in Lakewood?
Here in Israel ,you give on Purim and end of the year.Maybe people give on more occasions but I didn't hear about it..

amother

Seagreen

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 5:12 am

You can give more on Purim if it bothers you. But really you’re fine. It sounds as though your husband was comfortable with 50 and he definitely gets a say too.

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 5:29 am

I also gave $50. And no Sefer. You're fine, OP. Don't worry.

pbandjelly

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 6:16 am

I think $50 is very generous! If there are 20 students in the class and they each give $50, that is $1000!

I think that was extra thoughtful to give the sefer as well.

If you feel bad then next time you give a gift (Purim etc...) You can include the extra $50 if you like.