What do people usually do in this case?

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 3:50 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

Why can't you just ask any of your kids classmates? Are they homeschooled? Or a neighbor? I don't get the issue. Didn't you open this thread for advice because you don't have where to send?

Yes, Exactly for advice! Maybe I should consider asking a neighbor.

mha3484

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 3:51 pm

Two of my boys are that age. I have a 6 and 10 year old. I think with the right set up we could have a nice vacation. I think it would need a rented house/apartment or a large suite so we all get our own personal space. Also clear boundaries that certain times are for doing family activities and others are for reading/ playing a game/ screen time with each other so DH and I can relax.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 4:18 pm

Hi op,
Im just suggesting this, dont know if it would work for you.

First of all, if you dont want to impose too much on one person, maybe you could ask one person/friend to have them over after school for a couple of hours, and then another person- babysitter/older girl/whoever you find, just for the nights. so that way no ones doing too big a job.

Or you could split the kids up, different place each night. different friend each night.

we went away before my baby was born, and then after the birth they also stayed out and that was one of the options...

Iv also been asked before, if I could have someones kids stay over, and I apologised and said wouldnt work out, but would happily have them straight from school, supper, bath , till bedtime.
And Iv been told this by friends when I have asked for my kids to stay over.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 5:02 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

Why can't you just ask any of your kids classmates? Are they homeschooled? Or a neighbor? I don't get the issue. Didn't you open this thread for advice because you don't have where to send?

Maybe the kid doesn’t get along with the classmates? Maybe it’s a very small class and OP knows it wouldn’t work out well? Maybe the kid has issues that preclude sleeping at someone else’s house? Maybe OP isn’t friendly with the other moms and is super uncomfortable asking? Maybe OP knows that the moms she IS friendly with are overwhelmed, but they would say yes if she asked, because they would “feel pressured” or would feel bad saying no?

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 5:10 pm

While were on the topic, what is a NICE way to ask a friend if they would have your kids over to stay, but for pay?
As my child is not the easiest, does have some issues but its getting harder to leave them at a paying childminder as not always children their age.
Would feel better paying because this type of child does need some more attention.
AND it should mean moms should be more open to say yes.

If someone asked me to have their kid for pay, would be more inclined to say yes, and also would know what im dealing with.

The times that iv mentioned it , didnt go down well.
mom couldnt manage, but said wouldnt take payment anyway.

amother

Lime

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 8:11 pm

Maybe I'm the wrong person to suggest things, since bh we have where to leave our kids, and tend to go away about once a year ourselves. (My kids are very comfortable at my parents, and they live in town. I actually have nowhere else to leave them besides my parents at this point but bh my parents take them whenever I want so I don't have a problem...but I do have little siblings, who come to me a few times a year with my parents go away, so it's a two-way street) we just did an extended weekend in Florida from Thursday to Sunday which was nice.
Is there any way you can go somewhere for Shabbos, and then leave your kids there motzai shabbos, go to hotel for the night, and spend the day on Sunday together and then come home. Like to go to a family member for Shabbos, and then tell your kids are having a sleepover after Shabbos and you leave.
I did that years ago a few times and it was really nice.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Dec 21 2020, 8:19 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

I'd feel really uncomfortable taking money from a friend. TBH, I'd feel very pressured if a friend asked me to have their kid stay a few days, pay or no pay, especially if the child had issues or is difficult to handle. I wouldn't want the responsibility, unless its a true emergency situation. Maybe an older kid, like at least 12.