How much does a wedding cost

HakarasHatov

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 7:51 am

How much was your wedding? Did the other side contribute the same amount or a different amount. What was the total cost of Everything for the chassana.

Last edited by HakarasHatov on Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:40 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tan

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:00 am

My wedding, 16 years ago, cost me 30k. My dress was 5k and the hall / food was 25k. My husband's side paid for the photographer, benchers, band, flowers and any guests above the first 250. They also paid for wine per table. I would say they paid a total of 10k. So figure about 40k, 16 years ago. I personally paid my side from a yerusha (and because I actually had no family to pay) but my husband's mother paid his side. I didn't get any bridal gifts, like a lecht or pearls, either so its not like we spent a lot on extras. For my own kids (I have 3), I am estimating that each wedding will be approximately 30-40k for our half. If the cost of the wedding is less, then there's money for a downpayment on their house. I'm not planning to pay for college or grad school. No one paid for that for me and I did alright in this world...New York area wedding, btw.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:04 am

Obviously much depends on where you live and how many people you invite. Also, do you mean the wedding itself, or are you including the costs of setting up an apartment for the newlyweds, which is standard in some communities?

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:19 am

15 years ago for us in Brooklyn it was $28,000 per side including wedding hall, caterer, photographer, band, wigs, shtreimels, master bedroom kitchen and dining room furniture, clothes for kallah & chosson for sheva brachos, vort, diamond ring bracelet earrings watch, watch cufflinks shas tallis, linens, bedding, towels, pots, dishes etc etc. We shopped on a budget.

mom39

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:32 am

There are all different types of weddings. You can make a wedding in a fancy hall or you can make a wedding in a takana hall (which is beautiful also). You can have a one man band or a ten piece orchestra. Real flowers/fake flowers. One crew photography/2 crews. How many people? What type of menu? You get the idea. That's for the wedding itself. Then there are the presents. You can get a big clear diamond or a smaller diamond. What presents are you getting? Some get a lot, some do the minimum. Are you getting a fancy gown or renting from a gmach..........Whatever you do mazel tov! and know your budget. Don't go into hock bec you want to keep up with the Joneses. Don't forget - some people made beautiful back yard weddings recently!

amother

Cyan

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:33 am

In israel boys side (made a wedding recently before Corona)
split wedding night, furniture, and sheva brachos costs 50/50
our sides cost
20,000 hall + caterer +silk flowers/centerpieces/kallah chair/chuppah +music+ photographer
3,000 nis clothing (does not include chosson, he recieved 5,000 nis in vouchers from yeshiva)
3,000 nis bussing from yeshiva to wedding
8,000 nis furniture and appliances (everything used except appliances and mattresses)
6,000 nis kallah jewlery - resetting an heirloom diamond + bracelet+ necklace + watch. We offered to either by 1 expensive piece or 3 cheaper ones, kallah preferred this way
2,000 sheva brachos participation

All done very simply. In addition we gave 100,000 nis towards a down payment.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:43 am

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

This is charedi or/and chassidish, correct? Meaning these numbers will be very different, in Israel, but in the dati leumi community.

amother

Cyan

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:45 am

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

New conspiracy theory:

Covid was created by Jewish parents to save $50,000 in wedding fees 😲

Maybe in the USA. here in israel the covid wedding are either = or more to what they where.
I know this because my brother just got married
Y
ou cant use the cheap/takana halls and we don't have big backyards, and it is freezing, so people either are taking school/cheder gyms ad hanging curtians ect. or renting tents+space to put up tents ect.

So instead of 9,000 nis for gutnick for 300 ppl. including things like tables and chairs, centerpices,kallah chair ect. you spend 15,000 nis for a 20 people.

Then you have catering. The caterers charge way more per person then the 70 nis pp. you normally pa in gutnick because its a so few ppl. compared to the 300 ppl. normally minimum in the cheap halls. 20 people at a time is legal so we rotated groups in and out and you need to feed each group. We paid 350 nis pp. for 80 people and that was a cheap quote compared to some we spoke to.

Then you need to hire someone to make sure that every shift leaves and makes room for the next shift.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:55 am

Do you want to know minimum needed to make a small wedding?
Or do you want to know on average how much imamothers spent on weddings?
1rst son we spent $8000 plus cost of dressing all of us, mu for myself, updos for 4 gitls and shabbos aufruf for about 50 ppl not caterered(not sure $1000-1500)
2nd wedding out of the country $4500 in traveling expenses plus about $10000 for wedding itself plus cost of dressing everybody plus shabbos sheva brachos (lunch only)
Add to that: kalla bracelet, rings and earings.
We're talking about boys side. $15000 is the minimum I would say for regular yeshivish wedding.
Obviously if you only have 3 kids your clothing budget will be smaller than if you have 10!
(You can do a little cheaper if you get bais faiga hall in Lakewood! Wink

)

amother

Cyan

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:55 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

This is charedi or/and chassidish, correct? Meaning these numbers will be very different, in Israel, but in the dati leumi community.

Charedi. And yes everything was very simple because we prefer to give more money for an apartment then make a fancy wedding. And I wish we could have given them more towards an apartment. But we have a large family and we need to give huge amounts for the girls (500,00 nis) so this is all we could afford. Whats crazy is that dh and I both make good money nd are frugal, I don't know how this became the "norm" or how people who don't make 20,000 nis a month each do it (thigh I guess the don't pay the crazy taxes we do....)

But in the DL or Sephardi or chiloni communities I have been exposed too ( I work in a big company that is very mixed) it is mekubal for every participant to bring a check according to the level of the fanciness of the hall, and the couple only keeps whatever money is left after the wedding night is paid for.

ddmom

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:57 am

HakarasHatov wrote:

Anyone have experience when one side wants to spend a lot more than the other side, do they agree on an amount and split the cost or one side just pays a lot more?

Where are you located?
Pm me.

amother

Cyan

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:59 am

HakarasHatov wrote:

Anyone have experience when one side wants to spend a lot more than the other side, do they agree on an amount and split the cost or one side just pays a lot more?

Depend on the people IMO (and what we have done) for the sake of shalom and the couple if you want to spend more you swallow the amount, but if the other side wants you to split wit them even if its a lot of money you are investing in the relationship and that is worth more money to me then anything. No money is worth machlokes. Ever.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 9:22 am

HakarasHatov wrote:

I want to know on average how much imamothers spent on weddings?

Sorry but this is a ridiculous question. We are of all different backgrounds, communities and parts of the world

My parents BH spent 70k on my very nice bit not over the top at all wedding in the NY area for 200 people, 10 years ago. RW MO

I doubt that answer helps you if you’re making a wedding OOT. Or in Israel. Or Lakewood.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Dec 29 2020, 9:24 am

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

Fascinating. I got maybe 1/4 wedding gifts as the cost of the wedding. What would the couple do then?