How much does a wedding cost

amother

Mocha

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 9:41 am

amother Pearl wrote:

New conspiracy theory:

Covid was created by Jewish parents to save $50,000 in wedding fees 😲

Nope. We were restricted to the number of guests but had to pay for the full minimum.(Lakewood hall)
We had additional expenses such as for outdoor chupa and glass boxes for grandparents.
So no, Covid didn’t save $.

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 9:47 am

finprof wrote:

11 years ago, 60 guests at the Saint Louis JCC with a dairy buffet for $7k. My Father in law was the photographer, DJ= computer, I did my own makeup and, dress=Ebay (from a Mormon, no alterations $250). Why spend so much on 1 day? This was to much IMHO but it made the parents happy. 4 kids, 2 houses, several states and jobs later and we regret nothing.

I did it more like you. OOT wedding, though we did rent a venue and that brought the total up to $20K. I was happy to pay extra for the nice venue because we wanted pictures with beautiful backgrounds and got them. It was a daytime dairy wedding and beautiful. I also bought my dress online from someone non Jewish and it was perfect.

amother

Mustard

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 9:56 am

amother Smokey wrote:

I am starting to make a wedding now. I am as frugal as people come. I cannot see a wedding costing less than 80K and I am beyond nauseous. (FYI I bought my dress on clearance for $190 but will need alterations to make tznius, DD is looking at the gemach where they changed $350 for cleanings and no rental fee. It will still be 80K. I cannot find anything less expensive than $138 pp and a 350 person minimum. I will need to rent a base king chair and a chuppah (chuppah is $600 before flowers and it needs flowers). This will spiral out of control, there is no way it won’t. I work too hard ti throw money away like this on a 4-5 hour party. I wish I could make a Covid wedding and give the kids the cash to start their life.

Aaaaand those catering fees are why people make weddings in Brooklyn and Lakewood even when rhey are not from those areas.

However, it sounds like even in takana weddings you are spending 30k to 60k to marry off the child when all is said and done.

amother

Eggplant

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 11:49 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I had a wedding like this too, earlier this year (though we did spend on professional photography and hair and makeup), and I loved it - as did our guests. Neither DH nor I enjoy big crowds or loud music, and our intimate, low-key wedding was perfect for us. We are MO and on the older side, both of which I realize probably make the social pressures a lot less...

amother

Mintcream

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 12:16 pm

I love hearing about small and simple weddings. My husband and I just had a conversation about this. We had a big, typical, Brooklyn wedding 16 years ago. I have no idea how much it cost, I'm sure more than it needed to. My husband and I both wish we could have spoken up more about what we really wanted. We would have been so happy with a small, at home wedding, a chuppah in the backyard, a meal with only those close to us, a chance to talk and connect with our favorite people. Short, simple. No earsplitting music, no dancing. We tried telling our families that this was our preference, but we were young, and I guess lacked the confidence to really assert ourselves. We've made a bar mitzvah like this for our oldest- small, simple, intimate, and loved every minute of it. Our son still says, several years later, that it was one of the best days of his life. We have a bunch of boys who all say they want one just like it, so I guess no one in our family is missing the hall, the music, the nauseating purple lighting, the crowd of people that don't really matter to the bar mitzvah boy, the catered chicken dinner.

amother

Orange

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 1:04 pm

Our first wedding we're making is looking like its just under 40,000 out of pocket at this point. That includes shadchanus, chosson watch, bedroom furniture for the couple's apartment, shaitels for the kallah (not counting mine because I needed a new one anyway), clothing a large family for the simcha, flying in a sibling from yeshiva in Israel, flying out of town for sheva brachos. We did get some help with some of it otherwise we would be around 50k. I don't know why I thought it wouldn't be this much. Now that I know what I know I'm amazed we kept it this low.

amother

Clover

Sun, Jan 07 2024, 3:33 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

I am starting to make a wedding now. I am as frugal as people come. I cannot see a wedding costing less than 80K and I am beyond nauseous. (FYI I bought my dress on clearance for $190 but will need alterations to make tznius, DD is looking at the gemach where they changed $350 for cleanings and no rental fee. It will still be 80K. I cannot find anything less expensive than $138 pp and a 350 person minimum. I will need to rent a badekin chair ($?) and a chuppah (chuppah is $600 before flowers and it needs flowers). This will spiral out of control, there is no way it won’t. I work to hard to throw money away like this on a 4-5 hour party. I wish I could make a Covid wedding and give the kids the cash to start their life.

Can you please list a detailed breakdown showing why it will cost you 80k?
It doesnt make sense to me, if youre saying youre frugal as they come, really sounds too steep