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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
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amother
Hotpink
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 Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:33 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | [/b]
Who’s that someone? |
Paid help. We borrowed money for a nurse this time around (surprise pregnancy for anyone that wants to judge). Best money ever spent.
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amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:33 pm
There are other nurses out there, that may not be afraid of crying babies. Get someone with good references. Call agencies, ask them for someone who can handle a constantly crying baby.
My 9 month old didn’t sleep, dh and I were zombies, not functioning. I finally buckled down and hired a night nurse. Money well spent. I’ll skimp on other things. For now I need my sleep.
If that’s really not an option, find a daytime babysitter you can drop off by so you can sleep. Even just a 2 hour nap can make a huge difference.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:36 pm
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I wrote in my op that I finally hired a nurse for tonight through an agency. Spoke to references. She didn’t come because she got lost and ended up hours away from me (that’s her story anyway).
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:42 pm
I’m so resentful of dh. He keeps going to the bathroom, or being on his phone. Can’t take charge and take the baby for me. Even if I survive this, I hope my marriage will.
I’m so angry.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:42 pm
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Have you tried sleeping the baby in a swing? My other kids hated swings and my baby now will wake up every couple of hours and cry if he's laying in his crib, but if he's in the swing swinging all night, he'll sleep straight through.
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Notsobusy
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:44 pm
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Are you in Lakewood? I can come take over for the next few hours.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:45 pm
| amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote: | | Have you tried sleeping the baby in a swing? My other kids hated swings and my baby now will wake up every couple of hours and cry if he's laying in his crib, but if he's in the swing swinging all night, he'll sleep straight through. |
Yup. He lays awake for hours in the swing.
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amother
Papaya
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:46 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I wrote in my op that I finally hired a nurse for tonight through an agency. Spoke to references. She didn’t come because she got lost and ended up hours away from me (that’s her story anyway). |
If you need advice on how to get through tonight (assuming no baby nurse and husband is not available to help):
1) can you wrap up your baby warmly and take him for a short walk? Many babies calm down outside. Then you can bring him in, gently unwrap the blankets, and hopefully he stays asleep for a bit.
2) will he fall sleep on your chest while you’re on your bed?
3) try the 5 S - they need to be quite strong/loud/tight.
4) can you try a change of scenery - go into a different room, adjust the lighting, put on soft music, walk around with the baby in a carrier, stroller or in your arms? Maybe this can “reset” his hysterics.
5) make sure he is burped, fed, changed before all this.
6) if you feel very stressed, go into a different room without the baby (let him cry in the crib for a few minutes), and try to calm yourself. This is for you and for the baby, who can probably sense your stress. Have a tea, close your eyes, write down how overwhelmed you are, talk to yourself kindly.
We are rooting for you.
Tomorrow, try to find a night nurse and a back up nurse. If you can get your husband on board in any way to help out (split shifts, don’t care for the baby together when one of you can be sleeping), that would be great.
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amother
Mustard
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:46 pm
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Op where are you located?
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:46 pm
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Thanks for the offers to help. I would never out myself under these circumstances.
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amother
cornflower
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:47 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I’m so resentful of dh. He keeps going to the bathroom, or being on his phone. Can’t take charge and take the baby for me. Even if I survive this, I hope my marriage will.
I’m so angry. |
Oy yes btdt. Your marriage will survive. But for me, it helps keep my iud plugged in when I remember the resentful feelings!
Do you have a swing? Will he sleep in his carriage? Noise machine? Or YouTube white noise
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amother
Fuchsia
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:47 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Yup. He lays awake for hours in the swing. |
I am so sorry.
I don't know how you're still somewhat sane.
Like others said, you need to find and pay someone to watch baby at night or during the day so you can sleep. Humans cannot function without sleep.
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amother
Mustard
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:47 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Thanks for the offers to help. I would never out myself under these circumstances. | There’s no need to out yourself, just pm a member that lives near you.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:49 pm
| amother [ cornflower ] wrote: | Oy yes btdt. Your marriage will survive. But for me, it helps keep my iud plugged in when I remember the resentful feelings!
Do you have a swing? Will he sleep in his carriage? Noise machine? Or YouTube white noise |
Swing and carriage don’t work at night. I gave sound machine on the whole time. I undressed to do skin to skin. Nothing helped
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Notsobusy
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:49 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Thanks for the offers to help. I would never out myself under these circumstances. |
I'm really serious. And I'll forget who you are tomorrow  If you're in Lakewood please pm me. You don't even have to tell me your name. I'm happy to tell you mine if you don't want a random stranger showing up in your house.
'
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amother
cornflower
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:51 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Swing and carriage don’t work at night. I gave sound machine on the whole time. I undressed to do skin to skin. Nothing helped |
How do you know he’s not in pain?
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mommy3b2c
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:58 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Thanks for the offers to help. I would never out myself under these circumstances. |
Seriously? What circumstances? The circumstance that most of us have gone through of having a colicky baby? I’m confused. Just pm somebody who lives near you and let them help. Otherwise you are allowing yourself to be a victim. Do what you need to do so that you don’t collapse.
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amother
Gray
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 11:12 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I’m so resentful of dh. He keeps going to the bathroom, or being on his phone. Can’t take charge and take the baby for me. Even if I survive this, I hope my marriage will.
I’m so angry. |
Can you delegate one hour of baby care to him now so you can have a break? And maybe the baby has an ear infection, try taking him to the doctor tomorrow.
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ra_mom
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Tue, Feb 09 2021, 11:14 pm
OP, are you near me in Brooklyn? I can take him Friday night. I love babies and would like to try to be there for him for a night.
You really need to sleep.
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