Hotel care package for chassan kallah

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 12:52 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Not the poster, obviously.

But to me, the period immediately following a wedding, particularly the time at a hotel, is a period in which a couple explores intimacy, both physical and emotional. The idea of parents sending any packages, which can be viewed as intruding or at least participating in these moments, feels very wrong to me.

I'm guessing that differs in different communities, based on the comments here.

As an aside, is there a minhag that couples eat breakfast and lunch in their hotel rooms, without going out, during the first week of marriage? I can't imagine that.

This is such a weird way of thinking. You're making it seem like OP is sending a relations package. It's very mentchlich and caring to send a care package. My parents and in laws send breakfast packages to the new couple throughout sheva brachos, it's a very nice thing to do.

SixOfWands

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 1:15 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

And I think that its weird to think that a young couple exploring their physical and emotional conneciton in the first day of marriage want mommy and daddy sending things to them.

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 1:20 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

And I think that its weird to think that a young couple exploring their physical and emotional conneciton in the first day of marriage want mommy and daddy sending things to them.

So, again.

Is it weird that the parents are involved in booking and paying for their hotel room?

I guess it's different in a community when people get married after they've been living independently for years and their parents aren't really involved much in the wedding preparations at all.

Even then I'd think sending over a gift package to the hotel room would be a nice gesture rather than "ick, intrusive."

When I went on job interviews that involved a hotel stay, the company I was interviewing with sent a gift package to the hotel room (and I didn't even get the job in the end).

moonstone

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 1:36 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

And I think that its weird to think that a young couple exploring their physical and emotional conneciton in the first day of marriage want mommy and daddy sending things to them.

I also find it odd and kind of creepy, especially the parents picking up the couple at the hotel the next morning for breakfast. Just...no.

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 1:43 pm

moonstone wrote:

I also find it odd and kind of creepy, especially the parents picking up the couple at the hotel the next morning for breakfast. Just...no.

Hmmm..

Parents shouldn't serve them breakfast at their own home.
They shouldn't send breakfast over to the hotel room.

(Mind you this is a city that doesn't have kosher bakeries and cafes on every corner.)

So what do you expect them to do?

Yes, there's a time for the couple to fend for themselves and get their own breakfast. That's the day after sheva brachos.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 1:48 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

And I think that its weird to think that a young couple exploring their physical and emotional conneciton in the first day of marriage want mommy and daddy sending things to them.

You're blowing this out of proportion. This couple is being at a hotel for shabbos sheva brachos and it's only mentchlich and nice to send a care package. There's nothing s-xual involved.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 2:21 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

You're blowing this out of proportion. This couple is being at a hotel for shabbos sheva brachos and it's only mentchlich and nice to send a care package. There's nothing s-xual involved.

Especially since she'll most likely be niddah.

tigerwife

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 2:33 pm

They’re staying in a presumeably non-kosher hotel with minimal kosher takeout around- it’s reallly sweet to stock the room first! It would be nice for any guest. For sure milk, cereal, some kind of packaged special baked goods, favorite noshes, etc.
It’s not like they’re staying there just that one night- they’ll be there a week with no way to prep their own food.

amother

Teal

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 2:46 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

And I think that its weird to think that a young couple exploring their physical and emotional conneciton in the first day of marriage want mommy and daddy sending things to them.

I agree with you. When I got married, dh booked and paid for the hotel himself. Someone random dropped off breakfast the next morning at the front desk (family friend who wanted to do something nice for us). We hung out. We went to the drugstore ourselves. We just got married for goodness sakes! For at least a few minutes, we could be on our own and take care of ourselves.

Rachel Shira

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 2:54 pm

I seriously don’t get why this is a bad idea on any level. We stayed at a hotel only for the first night but no one thought to give us any food for the next day - and I’m sorry but it’s just not on a kallah’s mind to pack breakfast for the day after her wedding.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 2:57 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

I think every couple that stays at a hotel over shabbos appreciates a care package. I don't get why people are making it as if OP is mixing in to their s-x lives. Yes, they just got married, but it's nice to feel thought of nevertheless.

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 3:02 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

So it's okay for "someone random" to drop off breakfast, just not the parents?

dandan

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 3:03 pm

Let me just say op I think what you’re doing is so nice and considerate and a great way to welcome a new daughter in law into the family. You’re making her feel taken care of and letting her know she can count on you. I think it’s really nice.
I really can’t understand why some of the women on here are being so rude about all of this.
One more thing I would suggest is an alarm clock- we slept thru shabbos morning davening 🙈

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 3:06 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

I'm looking at it from the opposite perspective. You have a whole life after sheva brachos to be on your own and take care of yourselves. It's okay to be indulged and treated like a king and queen just the week of sheva brachos.

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 4:04 pm

moonstone wrote:

I also find it odd and kind of creepy, especially the parents picking up the couple at the hotel the next morning for breakfast. Just...no.

Me too. DH packed a whole breakfast and care package to bring to the hotel!

mizle10

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 4:11 pm

I don’t even understand how this can be creepy. Your not sending sx items and your not showing it at their hotel room. I was starving the morning after my wedding, we went to sleep at 6am and woke up at 1 the next afternoon. I hadn’t eaten since the seudah at the wedding and honestly how much can a kallah actually eat between all the mazel tovs. I would have loved to have a food package sent to the hotel.

We rented an apartment for the week of sheva brachos that came with breakfast included, I have the best memories of breakfast in bed during sheva brachos.