Baby needs all my attention and hands!!!

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

raizy

Sun, Mar 09 2008, 11:19 pm

I have a baby in my day care who is 8 months and he is a desaster. he justs wants to be held . he hates to drink from a bottle and hates to sleep. if I will rock him for one hr he will nap for 30 mintes.

and the mother brings the baby to me . all the time. now I know why. she sleeps with him and she holds him a whole night. and she nurses him a whole night.she needs a break from him. she cant even take him with shopping or to a doc appointment.

how do I tell her that it is not a good idea to do this way. and then dump her baby on me. who has other kids to take care of. I cant hold him all the time. I have to give time to the other children. she didnt train him to be in a crib. her dd walks up and down the street with him all day and night.

now I realize that she has this problem but what am I suppose to do with it? keep the child or tell her to find anther daycare.? am I responsiable to keep such a child in my daycare. or do I tell her to find someone else. give her 2 weeks. she is also my neighbor.???

it is effecting me bc I cant have any quite in the house. and he doesnt let the other children sleep . he screams if I put him down. he needs constant hands and entertainment and lots of rocking.

Ima2

Mon, Mar 10 2008, 12:21 am

I'd kick him out. In a nice way, tell the mother that he's too demanding and that you can't tend to the other kids. It is awkward since she's your neighbor, but just be really nice about it. I had my daughter in a daycare at a young age and they had to kick out a baby who would cry all the time. Just be really polite about it, nothing personal just that you can't do your job with him like this and that it's not fair to your other kids and their parents too!

raizy

Mon, Mar 10 2008, 9:45 pm

I know that what I should do . but she is my neighbor. and she is finishing school in june.I dont want any bad feelings. should I stick it out or drop it.

zigi

Mon, Mar 10 2008, 11:36 pm

good luck! can you tell her that you need to hire another pair of hands because you can't put him down?

nana18

Tue, Mar 11 2008, 2:20 am

is there no where else she can send the baby to? no grandmother? It is a rachmonus on the baby. Maybe the baby just needs more one on one. he is just a baby and some babies do need more care than others and can;t be expected to adapt ay such a young age. I think it would be in the mothers and baby's best interest to find another option where the baby is more comfy and needs are met. hopefully he will settle down when he grows up. Good luck I know what its like when your hands are full and the others need you.

chocolate moose

Tue, Mar 11 2008, 10:45 am

That might just be the nature of the child. It's possible the mother is not spoiling him.

Seraph

Tue, Mar 11 2008, 11:21 am

The babysitter I'm replacing once had to tell a parent the following:
Your son needs an extra dose of attention. He needs to be held constantly. I'm not able to do that because I'm watching other kids as well. Its not fair for either him or the other kids for him to be here. He needs a private one on one babysitter so he can get the best care possible.

ShiningThrough

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 5:32 am

That's a fair way to say it, Breslov: to-the-point without judgement of the mother's parenting style.

I also have a demanding 7-mo-old in my babycare and he is tough to care for. He does not sleep with his parents and he's just needy and often inconsolable. He does not get to be in my arms all the time and when he's not he's just sad and cries, poor baby, but that's the situation. I still talk to him and smile to try to get the idea across that if he's not being held he's still OK and I'm still around him. It isn't easy (or quiet!)

Raizy, I don't think you can be sure that this baby is like that because he spends his nighttimes close to his mommy. Maybe that time sleeping with her is actually a positive step toward his feelings of security and will eventually help to calm him in the longer run.

Regardless, if its too stressful and making your job too difficult try Breslov's caring advice, pointing out that it would be in everyone's best interest if the baby had a 1-on-1 caregiver. Good luck!

mimivan

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 6:30 am

raizy wrote:

I know that what I should do . but she is my neighbor. and she is finishing school in june.I dont want any bad feelings. should I stick it out or drop it.

You should give her two weeks notice of course. Most people can find someone else in that amount of time. Tell her he needs a private babysitter, or a babysitter with fewer kids rather than a full daycare with lots of babies.

This is why I don't like doing business with neighbors!!

raizy

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 8:45 pm

breslov you are so right. but the mother is spoiling him. she holds rocks and never puts him on the floor.

she cant do anything with him. and when her dd comes home all she does is hold him or walk up and down the street with him.

she admits that he is difficult . but she has to finish the course. its a 3 yr course. and she has only till june. I feel bad for her. and no she has no one to babysit for her.

he is also coming down with a anther earache. (and I thought nursing babies where never suppose to have earaches. according to the pple who nurse.)
only bottles babies were suppose to have earaches. (sarcasm here dont jump on me.)

so I am only letting her come when she has to go into the course. and not for because she wants to go do shopping etc. I told her take him with u.

BinahYeteirah

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 9:31 pm

ShiningThrough wrote:

Raizy, I don't think you can be sure that this baby is like that because he spends his nighttimes close to his mommy. Maybe that time sleeping with her is actually a positive step toward his feelings of security and will eventually help to calm him in the longer run.

Regardless, if its too stressful and making your job too difficult try Breslov's caring advice, pointing out that it would be in everyone's best interest if the baby had a 1-on-1 caregiver. Good luck!

I agree. My first went to a babysitter while I worked part-time. She slept with me all night, nursing whenever she wanted, being held whenever I could, and that was most of the time since she was my first. I never even used a stroller with her; I just carried her around in sling. Her babysitter said she was such an "easy" baby/child. She did have a hard time separating some mornings (only from me, not dh), but the babysitter said she was just so content otherwise and that all the attention I gave her must have fulfilled her needs so she could be so secure at other times. Now, I don't know if that is true, but it sounds good. Smile

It's probably just this baby's personality.

In any case, it doesn't make any difference. It's nice of you to continue while she has class, but if you can't in the future, there is nothing wrong with saying that he's just not getting what he needs with you and you are unable to care for him.

amother

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 9:51 pm

if I were u I would tell the mother that the baby doesnt seem ready for a babysitter and really needs the mother.

amother

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 9:53 pm

Quote:

breslov you are so right. but the mother is spoiling him. she holds rocks and never puts him on the floor.

it is impossible to spoile a baby. she is not spoling him. she is actually doing the opposite. she is very very busy and her baby feels this and needs his mother which is why he prob needs to be comforted all the time. the mother is doing this to the baby bec she feels guilty prob, which confises the baby even more.... poor baby my hear goes out to him. he really needs his mother.

raizy

Wed, Mar 12 2008, 10:13 pm

she has 8 other kids. she needs the money she is getting a bursary from the goverment to do this course. this is her only parnessah....dh very chasum rav in my city.

she sleeps with the baby... and he never touched a crib. yet when she comes she tells me oh just put him in a crib he will fall asleep... is she for real... this baby nurses to sleep and here she wants him to go to sleep cold turkey..

well today he came .. he cried .... he was only happy in my hands for 3 hrs.. every time I put him down he cried... and I have anther newborn to take care of who eats and sleeps.and makes. etc. and she is so good... I haveto hold her too. ...
so I am just comparing them and I see. the other baby is also breastfeed. and she is still good. the mother worked with me. gave one bottle every day.. at the time when I would give the baby a bottle whereas the diffucult baby still doesnt take a bottle.mother never wanted to give a bottle at her house.

allright this a vent... is she maniplating me... or should I just ride it out till june.?

happymom

Thu, Mar 13 2008, 10:29 am

u should tell her that for his own wellbeing he NEEDS a ONE loving babysitter who can give him the love and att he needs. at least thats what id do..

bonzie

Thu, Mar 13 2008, 6:43 pm

I would be horrified if someone kicked my child out of a day care, especially a neighbor, obviously he's giving her a hard time, and im sure she feels resentment to him for it, and her one break is when he's with you, if you kick him out, it will be so much harder for her to deal with him, she'll think even someone that's being paid to watch him doesn't want him!
You're right he is spoiled, but children learn- and quick too, he knows that crying will get him held, but you are more than able to teach him that that won't be happining with you! don't pick him up and let him cry if you know he's just fussing for attention, he will learn soon enough that with you there's no point in crying, and what he does with his mother is another story.
if you really want him gone, maybe do things that she wants to leave herself (feed him w/o a bib on? Smile

)

chocolate moose

Thu, Mar 13 2008, 7:30 pm

Oh, my kids have been kicked out. You live to tell about it !!!!

Nomad

Thu, Mar 13 2008, 10:55 pm

try a baby carrier. The ergo brand is easy on the back and is good for carrying babies longer periods of time.
if that doesnt work, you need to tell the mom to find a new babysitter.

happymom

Thu, Mar 13 2008, 11:08 pm

I am thinking about the wellbeing and happiness of the child. its sad that the mother wouldnt want to know about and do whats best for her baby. its not being kickced out its caring for the needs of that baby!

Ruchel

Fri, Mar 14 2008, 9:24 am

Poor woman.... 9 children and still she doesn't get anything about them... of course he won't sleep in a crib in a foreign place without nursing if at home he sleeps in her bed and falls asleep by nursing.

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next