Help me survive shabbos with my 6 yo

amother

Navy

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 8:57 am

If this child is an introvert it’s not fair to force him to have playdates. Half my kids are real homebodies and half are the opposite. If he wants to be at home that’s a beautiful thing, just make sure the day is structured enough that it runs smoothly. Mothers shouldn’t be entertaining their 6 year olds all day long, but spending nice time together reading and playing is wonderful and will build the relationship and the more you bond with the child, the easier the teen years will be because no matter how horrible they become as teens there will be a deep connection between you that you created when they were young.

amother

Wine

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:00 am

Is this behavior really different from all week? Is he going to sleep late Friday night? Having soda Friday night? See if you can find what's different about Friday shobbos that makes him so grumpy

amother

Bronze

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:17 am

Do you have a husband? if yes, he should be responsible for some of it. Can he take him to shul for one tefilla? I find that makes a huge difference in my six year old's behavior over shabbos. If you don't, can you find your son a "big brother" of sorts. Your dh can also say some tehillim with your son, daven with him, review his chumash, etc. Not to blame you but A totally unstructured day will give you s bored, restless, misbehaving child. BTDT.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:23 am

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

What? She cannot just send her child out. She can tell him he needs to play quietly by himself, but he is her child and her responsibility, not the neighbors. Crazy.

Agree. I remember kids in my neighborhood that were forced out of their house on Shabbos afternoon by their parents. They ended up roaming around, getting into trouble. 6 is very little to be forced to do this! Other parents didn't want them spending the afternoon at their house, because they were very wild and got their own children agitated and needed supervision, however a few kindly people let them in because they felt bad
but at some point they had enough. I would hope people don't do this anymore!

I would suggest cutting back on battles with him. Don't force him to "earn" his special treat by getting dressed, it will just start the day with a battle. Have some exciting toys or games that only come out shabbos afternoon. Maybe shorten your meal a bit, if it is dragged out the kids get restless. Plan to take a walk outside later in the afternoon, bundle up whether it is cold or rainy! Maybe one of you can take him for a walk individually by himself, sounds like he would benefit from some one on one attention.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He had more snacks than I wrote. It's been snowy and rainy where I live so we don't have much ability to be outside for so long. Today happened to have been nice but it was muddy from the rain, so nowhere to play. He rode his scooter for an hour.

It really does sound like he needs more outside time. Even if it’s lousy out, bundle him up and go outside for multiple short sessions. Kids often do well in cold weather (with the right clothing, of course) even if it’s miserable from an adult perspective.

amother

Denim

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:56 pm

I second time with him.
Sitting on the floor playing games with him.
Read him books.
Tickle him and roll around the floor with him... Or your husband can do that:).
Have set times where you are focused on him and other times where he plays by himself.

amother

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 1:06 pm

Thanks for all the tips.
Yes he is probably an introvert - I am a major introvert and my husband is an extroverted introvert so it would make sense.
No soda, no more sugar than usual.
I play games with him Friday night after the Little's are sleeping. It's very very hard to play games shabbos day because the Little's interrupt but it probably is a good idea- I'll ask Dh to watch the Little's while I play or vice versa.
He doesn't want to go to Shul and I don't want to force it.
I didn't encourage naps because that meant kids were up late on motz shabbos but I think that might be the better of the two, and I may start encouraging naps. We'll see.
Thanks, lots of food for thought