Very rigid- has his own rules- potches/tantrums

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 6:14 am

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

My daughter was jus like this at age 4, with rules, rituals, and procedures that must always be adhered to. It was difficult. I didn't pick up that this type of rigidity is actually OCD. Turned out she had pandas.

my son didn't have an abrupt change, he was always the same, dont think its pandas. I do see ocd tendencies, but genetically has grandparent with ocd

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 6:16 am

lovingmommy3417 wrote:

My 4 yo son is similar and I am beginning to think it is some OCD (dh has the same) and some anxiety. Gets very upset when you do something he doesnt like or in the wrong way.

yes, same but I'm starting to suspect maybe maybe on spectrum as well because does some interesting social behaviors not typical and seems to think differently then typical

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 6:22 am

Success10 wrote:

A dd of mine was like this, and at the time it was soo hard, but in the end, there is nothing really wrong with her, she's just a stubborn, strong-minded kid. And in the long run, it's one of her best qualities. She's matured a lot, but still can be hard to deal with at times. I'm just letting you know that there might not be a diagnosis that comes along with this behavior. Just coping strategies, like giving the child as much control as possible, healthy sensory outlets, and reminding yourself 50 times a day that you do love your child and they're not deliberately driving you nuts.

thanks, it's just that I feel its more extreme then just being stubborn. He struggles with other things as well, like sensory difficulties, social difficulties and in general the most basic thing like changing in pajamas can turn into this huge battle and some days its just one battle after the next and I happen to have lot of experience with children and still at my wits end...and let's say he finally gets in pajamas and goes to sleep happily he can wake up in middle of night upset and crying at how he had to get in pajamas like 5 hours earlier...like he stays stuck remembers all the 'bad' for hours

amother

Goldenrod

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 7:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

my son didn't have an abrupt change, he was always the same, dont think its pandas. I do see ocd tendencies, but genetically has grandparent with ocd

OCD can look like ASD. You really need to get it evaluated since they share some behaviors but come from different places. And that makes a huge difference in how you treat it.

amother

Blush

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 8:02 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

my son didn't have an abrupt change, he was always the same, dont think its pandas. I do see ocd tendencies, but genetically has grandparent with ocd

Mine never had an abrupt change either. It's not always that way. She was always intense, sensitive, anxious, and rigid. And also has a grandparent with OCD.

allgood

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 8:52 am

OCD and Anxiety are often diagnosis given to individuals with autism prior to someone realizing that those difficulties are caused by autism. (That's not to say it always is though.)

I recommend getting your child tested by a developmental pediatric neurologist. Be careful though to give them all thebinformation- including everything you posted- instead of just giving your belief. Unfortunately, a lot of the diagnosis is based on information presented by parents which is why it is really beneficial to give as many details as possible.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 8:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

these traits fit him well , but I asked morahs who work with a lot of kids and they didn't feel he has ASD, where can I get him evaluated

I asked his morahs and therapist and all agree it’s just his personality that needs some working on. The OT and speech definitely help with anxiety because they teach him planning and dealing with sensory overload. I also work with a parenting coach when things come up

amother

Violet

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 9:05 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

my son didn't have an abrupt change, he was always the same, dont think its pandas. I do see ocd tendencies, but genetically has grandparent with ocd

Pandas isn’t always an abrupt change. That’s a myth. Also, ASD, OCD and pandas aren’t mutually exclusive. OCD and ASD describe a set of behavioral symptoms, but they don’t discuss a cause. Pandas is a root cause of both ASD symptoms and OCD symptoms.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 9:05 am

OP, every child is different but what you are describing sounds similar to my son. All the teachers and morahs thought he was fine.

He displayed some OCD tendencies, and black and white thinking. He had a very hard time transitioning and did not appreciate trying new things. Until today, if I change a recipe from what I normally make or I serve him in a different bowl than usual, he had a problem with it. (He is almost 18 years old.)

He also likes to play by himself, and as a little kid used to sit in the corner making puzzles or reading encyclopedias. He does not always make eye contact. He is very stiff, even as an infant, didn't enjoy cuddling. Also, he had lots of stimming behaviors over the years.

He was finally evaluated and diagnosed at 13 as having a communication disorder (used to be considered aspergers) with mild ADHD. But still, many people cannot tell that he is on the spectrum. They just think he is a bit different.

ETA: my son also had developemental delays as a baby. At one point a dr told me he wiuld never walk. He ended up walking by 17 months and is very athletic today. (Which supposedly is uncommon for people on the spectrum.)
He gets fixated on things all the time, and one of the things he is obsessed with is sports, lol.

miami85

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 9:18 am

I have had a child like this and I work in the field.

A couple of questions
1)Was he always like this.
2)Is the hitting at all "sensory" in nature meaning he doesn't understand how hard he is hitting
3)Does it seem to get better/worse depending on time of day.

A DOE evaluation will tell you what the educational response will be for this problem. A Medical evaluation will determine if there is something medically/psychologically wrong.

I agree with you that anxiety can be a factor and not necessarily autism. Some kids do have a "my way or the highway" mentality and things that are beyond their control set them off. For example I have a child that seemed to be triggered when his younger sibling started crawling. Suddenly the baby was no longer just "cute and adorable" but a threat to child's space and belongings. Triggers such as being hungry/tired and needing the bathroom exacerbated the anxiety and would often result in what I described as "thunderstorms" and if the "atmospheric conditions" were right would result in a hitting spree.

Anxiety does not always need medication if the child can be taught better self-soothing and self-talk mechanisms.

I have found it frustrating working with developmental pediatricians who seem to want to check of lists from the DSM-V so they can bill insurance rather than really getting to the crux of the problem.

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 11:22 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

My son is 4 and also has exact same issues. He sees an OT and speech therapist for language processing. It’s done wonders for his anxiety. I strongly recommend getting him help early on so won’t become bigger issues as he gets older

I also think he has processing difficulties but he aced his speech eval for some reason...his ot doesn't help so much, what does ur OT do, maybe I can give some ideas over thanks so much

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 11:25 am

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

so where do I evaluate for these things, pandas I assume needs to he evaluated separately

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 11:28 am

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

thanks sounds like my son with some small differences, will see to evaluate

amother

Mon, Mar 15 2021, 11:32 am

miami85 wrote:

1. He was pretty much always like this 2. I think it comes from defensiveness, if he can't predict someone's behavior...in school when his morah worked on stopping his hitting, he developed a new behavior, I saw him looking kind of scared of some kids, moving away from them and for example only using playground when kid comes off 3. Not really but some days he's definitely better than others and he is sensitive to what's going on, he needs everyone to be completely calm and happy