BP teens are partying in a Shul at 3:30, how do they functio

amother

Peach

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 3:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Have you ever had loud music playing until 4am on your block, and when you complained, they raised the volume?

I assume not.

My upstairs neighbors play loud music and dance on my head every motzei shabbos. They have a farbrengen with bachurim.They open their windows and the music can be heard far.
There's no one to talk to. There's nothing we can do. It would never ever dawn on me to call the police on them.

amother

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 3:48 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

And then you go to the Dr for meds??????????? OK, thats your choice.

naturalmom5

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 3:58 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

Sorry, this is part of city living. This is BP, not the suburbs. It's never quiet in the city. This is a normal thing for bachurim to do, it's good they're hanging out in shul instead of on the street. If anyone is bothered by the noise, they can put on earplugs.

Precisely ..

Is it wrong ...yes
Is it inconsiderate.. yup

But its BORO PARK

Maybe move to S Fallsburg or parts of Toms River

chestnut

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 4:11 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

I have a teen who is OTD and hangs out all night, and I still think this is wrong. I'm thrilled when my teen hangs out in the frum hang out spots or goes to a local organization that hosts them, but I would be upset if they would keep the neighborhood awake so that they can keep my kid off the streets. There are plenty of ways to entertain teens that don't keep the neighborhood up all night.

Op, you need to complain to whoever is in charge of this shul. Hopefully you will find somebody reasonable and that will be enough. Otherwise you have to ask your rav what your next step should be.

Thank you for your voice of reason!

Bas Yisrael

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 1:12 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

You don't, I have no problem reporting people who break the law.

Wow. These boys are obviously doing something wrong and lack of respect to neighbors is probably just one problem of theirs. I sincerely feel for you OP, it must be awful to have your sleep disturbed so often. I really hope my kids will know better, G-d willing. But to the poster I quoted and others who are going in the same direction, I say: two wrongs don’t make one right. I can’t believe there are actually good people around here who truly don’t know Halacha. Reporting a Yid is called being a Moiser. You need a heter to do that, just like you would need a heter for anything else that is usually a violation of Jewish law. Apparently many people seem not to know this. Regardless of the wrong doing, unless you are in immediate danger, you can’t simply say I have no problem to report. If you have no problem to go against halacha bemeizid (on purpose), you should be able to relate to these boys, as you are equally immature and on the same page. They don’t care about what’s right in your eyes and you don’t care about what’s right in Hashem’s eyes. Anyways, back to OP: This seems to be going on for a while and problems that weren’t born in one night, don’t usually go away in one night either. Speaking to the Rav of that shul would be a start. If you don’t get far after approaching them (Chol Hamoed Pesach if you want to even be heard since now is a most busy time I imagine for most Rabbanim); then you can go to your own Daas Torah and see where that takes you. I would not involve the mothers if I could help it. I doubt they have much of a say anyways.

amother

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 2:05 am

To all Imas who are critical of my attitude I say this:

Try to be Dan LKaf Zchus of my DH and myself.

We were patient when we heard the music previously at crazy hours, on multiple occasions, and thought it MUST BE a non jewish cleaning crew. Who else is up past 2 am playing loud music and singing loud like crazies on a residential block (yes, even Boro Park)?

So this past Motzei Shabbos, at midnight we ignored, we were still patient at 1 am, we were still patient at 2 am, then at 3 am we were starting to lose our cool. Enough is enough.

Do you know that weddings have time limits for when music must end???? This was not a wedding.

Also calling 311 means that if the caller is lucky, a police car comes down, and tells the crowd to disperse. It doesnt make it to the papers, they dont get a ticket, and 99.9% of the time, no cops come at all, 311 just listens to the caller and does zero. So actually it was dumb to call. Youre right.

Were waiting to have a talk with the Rov, iyH.

Bas Yisrael

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 2:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

OP, I’m not critical of you personally at all, just at the attitude of let’s inform them. I personally would not make an issue if it was a one night event, since I would assume it’s a Simcha, etc. But after that, once I see what it is, my belief is not to wait until I am so resentful that I’m ready to tear them apart in anger. Letting the anger fester makes matters worse. But putting your foot down and calling 911 isn’t the same thing at all. I wouldn’t consider it productive to talk to the teens directly either. So, I’m definitely not righting the wrong, only the approach of a Yid is not the approach of the rest of the world. Honestly, in my experience with Shuls and complaining neighbors, the police don’t accomplish anything long term; whereas a conversation with a reasonable adult in charge, goes a long way. Good luck to you and I hope you get to catch up on some rest...

amother

cornflower

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 11:18 am

BP is full of honking, double parking, busses that stop at every other house to drop of and pick up while blocking traffic on narrow one way streets, simcha halls that are built is residential areas and hog parking spots for blocks, pedestrians that cross at every red light and you have taanois on some bachurim that found themselves an outlet, albeit a loud one, in a shul??
This is biggest disturbance you found???

professor

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 11:22 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

I know, sometimes I can't hear myself think during the day. But that's during the day, at 3 - 4 am it's usually mostly quiet in boro park

sequoia

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 11:24 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

Excuse me.
Music is VERY different than ambient city noise.

Some of us have a sensitivity to low frequencies.

If someone is playing music with speakers anywhere near me, my pulse and blood pressure go up.

Whereas ambient city noise is not a nuisance unless there’s a car alarm going off (and when that happened I called 311 over and over until they did something about it).

The teens need to be considerate and live with others in a community. They must find an “outlet” that doesn’t disturb others.

Or maybe have a more balanced overall lifestyle...

amother

Peach

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 11:26 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Dan lkaf zchus doesn't come in here. You didn't do anything about the issue till you became so angry to the point of wanting to report. The right thing to do is to talk to the Rav of the shul and take it from there.

SixOfWands

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 11:35 am

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

Of course.

Call the shul, tell them that the music has been very loud into the morning hours motzei Shabbat, ask them to ensure its kept at a more reasonable level.

If they refuse, call 311. IMNSHO its not mosering. They aren't going to arrest anyone, just tell them to keep it down or disburse.

You can both agree that its a great idea to have an outlet for young people motzei Shabbat, and agree that they should be respectful of neighbors.

amother

Green

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 11:38 am

professor wrote:

I know, sometimes I can't hear myself think during the day. But that's during the day, at 3 - 4 am it's usually mostly quiet in boro park

well I was woken up at 5am by a city bus driver he has holding his hand on the horn for a couple of minutes straight because a truck stoped to do a delivery. There are less a holes in our community than by the non jews. Someone threw an egg lol. I wanted to report it but decided its not gonna help anyways..