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Baby whisperer help for baby 11 weeks old
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:13 pm
I just had my first bh and shes a delight
I havent really put her on a schedule bc tbh I didnt know that that was a thing...

I have lots of friends who let their babies CIO and it works for them but we have no plans to let the baby CIO.

My friend suggested the 'baby whisperer' method which we implemented today but it was a fail.

my baby likes to eat around 7 and then we both napped till around 11ish... when my dh came home from shul

the author was giving examples of a 3 hour schedule for EASY.
So once I feed my baby sometimes she falls back asleep! I try keeping her up but she just falls asleep again. towards the evening around 6:30 she was supposed to nap but I think she was overstimulated bc we had guests and she missed out on a nap, and was crying hysterically. we tried feeding her and she didnt want....

how do I get my baby on a schedule?? I think we did 'accidental parenting'
also I find the book pretty vague she doesnt give concrete timetables...

how long should my baby be sleeping if shes turning 11 weeks on tuesday?

overall shes a great baby bh. sometimes she has her days where its hard to get her to sleep...

dh and I go to bed late so we feed her around 12, then shes up at 2/3 then again at 6...

how am I supposed to cut out the 2 am feed? we tried uppig how much she eats during the day but she falls asleep at 4 oz... maybe if were lucky we can get 5 oz

ah, yes...
how can we implement the 'dream feed' if shes anyway eating at 12 with us?

my baby is also very touchy, she loves falling asleep on either me or my husband, shes always holding onto my dh shirt when he feeds her... or she has her hand on me... I know the book said jiggling baby and touching them to get to sleep isnt the best.

we tried doing the pat shush method to get her to sleep and we had to do whilst she was on our chest

my baby also doesnt take a paci! she sucks on her hand and gets all slobbery...

if I think of anymore qs im sure ill wb Smile
thanks for reading!!!
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:32 pm
You seem to be enjoying her and happy. There's nothing accidental about that.

You also seem to already have a schedule if you know around what times her feedings are.

Do you want her on a specific timeline? Or do you think your supposed to have her on a specific timeline? Those are two different things.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:35 pm
avrahamama wrote:
You seem to be enjoying her and happy. There's nothing accidental about that.

You also seem to already have a schedule if you know around what times her feedings are.

Do you want her on a specific timeline? Or do you think your supposed to have her on a specific timeline? Those are two different things.


Thanks for writing back! I must admit when I wrote my post I was hoping you'd reply, I love the insights you share on other threads Smile

Well I guess I think Im supposed to have her a on specific timeline. I have a friend whose baby is a few weeks older than mine and she puts her to bed at 7 pm and then shes up at 7 am.... how is that possible?

My baby eats a full feed at all her night feeds... sometimes she can sleep through a feed and only wake once...
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:47 pm
As the biggest fan of the book:

1. You need the books Answers All your Q not her first book

2. It's not a clock schedule it's a rhythm

3. If dream feed doesnt work for you, just ditch it. I did it religiously but I go to bed really late and I'd rather nurse at 1am when I go to sleep than sit there at 11pm.

4. Don't do CIO in any way, shape or form (this should be first and all caps).

5. She's coming out of fourth trimester... Chill... She's a newborn still. Don't get all worked up. Be prepared for a huge regression 4-5 months of age anyways. It's OK if she does "contact naps" sleeping with your feel. Not in your arms though, I wouldn't do that.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:52 pm
That's so sweet of you!

I'm really really really not a baby sleep expert, but when I read your OP I got the feeling that you were fine but might have been doing a bit of comparing with other moms. It's a big trap.

Baby sleep is important. But as you learn more about yourself and your husband as parents you will also find your parenting style and bedtime styles. All of my babies led the way, some very scheduled and needed to be in their cribs alone in the dark. Some wanted to feed and snuggle around the clock. None of these books or systems worked for me. I guess I did accidental parenting according to the experts lol

You can read and share ideas but don't let them hold you hostage to mommy guilt of not doing it right.

The main rules of parenting are love baby, feed baby, clean baby.

Take all the cuddles you want. I remember how magical it was with my bechor. BH they're all a blessing. That first year of being a mother was magical. That first year of seeing my husband as a father was a gift. Enjoy!!
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amother




Green
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:56 pm
The baby whisperer is really an old and outdated approach. Your baby is an infant still. Feed her when she is hungry and follow her cues. Have a loose routine for the day but most importantly follow your babies cues. Feed her when she is hungry and put her to sleep when she is tired. Try to do a bedtime routine around 7 and keep the room dark where she sleeps so she gets to understand it’s night. When she wakes up in middle of the night, feed her as she is very little still. Let her snuggle and sleep with you, it’s amazing for attachment.
CIO is child abuse so steer clear from that!
Enjoy your baby.
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:06 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
The baby whisperer is really an old and outdated approach. Your baby is an infant still. Feed her when she is hungry and follow her cues. Have a loose routine for the day but most importantly follow your babies cues. Feed her when she is hungry and put her to sleep when she is tired. Try to do a bedtime routine around 7 and keep the room dark where she sleeps so she gets to understand it’s night. When she wakes up in middle of the night, feed her as she is very little still. Let her snuggle and sleep with you, it’s amazing for attachment.
CIO is child abuse so steer clear from that!
Enjoy your baby.


I agree with all of this. And I still love the concept of feed as soon as they wake up, watch the clock so they don't get overtired (about an hour from waking up, feeding is included in that time) and put them to bed.

Dont stress about it all. You can't spoil a baby.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:19 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
The baby whisperer is really an old and outdated approach. Your baby is an infant still. Feed her when she is hungry and follow her cues. Have a loose routine for the day but most importantly follow your babies cues. Feed her when she is hungry and put her to sleep when she is tired. Try to do a bedtime routine around 7 and keep the room dark where she sleeps so she gets to understand it’s night. When she wakes up in middle of the night, feed her as she is very little still. Let her snuggle and sleep with you, it’s amazing for attachment.
CIO is child abuse so steer clear from that!
Enjoy your baby.


ah thanks!! yes I totally agree about the CIO...
my mother never did it with us. I have friends that call me a hippie bc I wont do it.

we live in a apartment thats not well lit, how should the room conditions be during the day? lights off? white noise at night? white noise during the day?

also... my baby sometimes sleeps on her tummy!!! its the only way to get her to sleep
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:20 pm
trixx wrote:
As the biggest fan of the book:

1. You need the books Answers All your Q not her first book

2. It's not a clock schedule it's a rhythm

3. If dream feed doesnt work for you, just ditch it. I did it religiously but I go to bed really late and I'd rather nurse at 1am when I go to sleep than sit there at 11pm.

4. Don't do CIO in any way, shape or form (this should be first and all caps).

5. She's coming out of fourth trimester... Chill... She's a newborn still. Don't get all worked up. Be prepared for a huge regression 4-5 months of age anyways. It's OK if she does "contact naps" sleeping with your feel. Not in your arms though, I wouldn't do that.


what do you mean by 'regression'?
how do you suggest we take care of the nights where shes overtired, and wont go to sleep? can take 2 hours to get her to sleep sometimes...
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amother




Green
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
ah thanks!! yes I totally agree about the CIO...
my mother never did it with us. I have friends that call me a hippie bc I wont do it.

we live in a apartment thats not well lit, how should the room conditions be during the day? lights off? white noise at night? white noise during the day?

also... my baby sometimes sleeps on her tummy!!! its the only way to get her to sleep

Lol! You aren’t a hippie just an intuitive and loving mama! They feel guilty so they are calling you names, don’t take it personally.
Let the light during the day be natural light, close the shades and leave the light off. At night it will hopefully be a bit darker. You can use white noise for sleep just make sure it’s not too loud for little babies ears. At night when your baby wakes up just nurse her and change her diaper if necessary but don’t overstimulate her so she goes back to sleep and eventually she will give you longer stretches of sleep. It’s very normal for babies to wake in the night to feed so don’t stress. Just nurse her back to sleep and enjoy her!
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
what do you mean by 'regression'?
how do you suggest we take care of the nights where shes overtired, and wont go to sleep? can take 2 hours to get her to sleep sometimes...


There's a natural period where baby starts doing naps of one sleep cycle so around 40 minutes. Drove me crazy with my first, by my second already I didn't have time to stand over the crib anymore. Just leave them alone. Do "crib time" (Google that) so let's say she's supposed to be sleeping from 12-2pm and she wakes up at 12:45, if she's happy and not crying just leave her in crib and only take out when she kvetches. It's normal and developmental and she'll get over it soon.

If she's too overtired at night then make sure you're not keeping her up too much before that. Not more than an hour at this age.
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greenteaorange




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:44 pm
Sounds like you have a good system and everything your describing is very normal for her age. I think people
Push the 12 hour sleep too much for young babies.
Regardless, I think your baby will naturally stretch out and skip the night feed soon.
It also sounds like you were trying a new schedule/ method over yom tov/ with guests so obviously it is going to be hard to stick to a new method over chag
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:56 pm
Mazal tov!

I also recently had my first (my baby is 15 weeks old) and I read the baby whisperer. We’ve tried to implement some of her methods, and some worked and some didn’t. The key is to recognize that each baby is different and what works for one may not work for another.

That being said, you have to learn your baby. Like mentioned above, it’s important to follow her cues.

You asked how to get rid of the 2am feed, so I’ll address this because we dealt with the same thing.
You have to determine if her waking up at 2am is out of habit or out of hunger. If it’s the same time every night it might indicate habit. And you can tell by giving her a paci (if she takes one). If she takes it and falls back asleep, then it’s probably not hunger.
If she’s waking up at diff times every night, that usually indicates hunger.
Again, this is from personal experience. Your baby may be different, but this is what worked for us.

So when I noticed a pattern that my baby woke up at 3am every night for a week straight, instead of feeding her, I gave the paci and she fell back asleep. So I knew it wasn’t hunger. The next night I woke her up at 2am (one hour before her habitual wake up time) to throw her body off the schedule, and put her right back to sleep. I did this for 2 nights and on the 3rd night she didn’t wake up at 3am anymore.

Now she sleeps from the dream feed (usually around 11pm) until 6am.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:59 pm
I reread your OP and see you edited to add she doesn’t take a paci. In that case, do whatever you normally do to get her back to sleep. If it’s shush pat, then great.

Just want to add, this isn’t necessarily the best method. I don’t know! Some posters are saying you’re baby will naturally drop the 2am feed, and that might be the case. But if you want to drop it sooner, you can try the method she recommends which worked for us.
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amother




Black
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 12:44 am
The Baby Whisperer didn't work with my personality. We did better with Natural Baby Sleep Method.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:30 am
What’s old-school about the baby whisperer?
It taught me EASY, how to set routine, to watch for my baby’s cues and put to sleep based on his tiredness.
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qwertyqwerty




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:47 am
It’s pretty normal to occasionally have “off schedule” days every once in a while. You had guests and she missed her nap and was overstimulated. At times like that, you can expect to have a harder time putting her to sleep afterwards. I don’t rock my baby to sleep, but when she’s overtired and overstimulated like that, I do spend time holding her and rocking her and calming her down.
It sounds like you get it. Good for you for figuring it out and making sure you’re baby is well-rested! By the way, you’ll always be thinking about and reconfiguring her schedule until like two years old. They grow so quickly and every few weeks they need less and less sleep
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:47 am
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
Mazal tov!

I also recently had my first (my baby is 15 weeks old) and I read the baby whisperer. We’ve tried to implement some of her methods, and some worked and some didn’t. The key is to recognize that each baby is different and what works for one may not work for another.

That being said, you have to learn your baby. Like mentioned above, it’s important to follow her cues.

You asked how to get rid of the 2am feed, so I’ll address this because we dealt with the same thing.
You have to determine if her waking up at 2am is out of habit or out of hunger. If it’s the same time every night it might indicate habit. And you can tell by giving her a paci (if she takes one). If she takes it and falls back asleep, then it’s probably not hunger.
If she’s waking up at diff times every night, that usually indicates hunger.
Again, this is from personal experience. Your baby may be different, but this is what worked for us.

So when I noticed a pattern that my baby woke up at 3am every night for a week straight, instead of feeding her, I gave the paci and she fell back asleep. So I knew it wasn’t hunger. The next night I woke her up at 2am (one hour before her habitual wake up time) to throw her body off the schedule, and put her right back to sleep. I did this for 2 nights and on the 3rd night she didn’t wake up at 3am anymore.

Now she sleeps from the dream feed (usually around 11pm) until 6am.


thx... I dont think its habitual waking bc shell have a full feed in the wee morning hours... 3 oz generally... sometimes 4 oz
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:49 am
so we really messed ourselves over...
we fed baby at 8 pm 5 oz which is a ton for her... she fell asleep at 9.... woke up at 12:15 and shes now wide awake.

shes wide awake in her swing and we just finished watching an episode of shtisel lol!

are we supposed to do EASY at night?

my dh tried putting her down, singing to her... she was crying, then she would quiet down, then fidget and move and cry again and repeat....

what to do in this situation?
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:53 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
so we really messed ourselves over...
we fed baby at 8 pm 5 oz which is a ton for her... she fell asleep at 9.... woke up at 12:15 and shes now wide awake.

shes wide awake in her swing and we just finished watching an episode of shtisel lol!

are we supposed to do EASY at night?

my dh tried putting her down, singing to her... she was crying, then she would quiet down, then fidget and move and cry again and repeat....

what to do in this situation?


No easy at night. Keep it dark and put to bed. No swing for her.
Did she wake bc of a burp stuck inside? Take her out, burp, change if poop, put back to bed whatever it takes.
Sounds like over tiredness-crying then quiet etc
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