S/o sons bris | Imamother

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S/o sons bris

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amother

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:42 am

A poster wrote she cried when she heard her son cry at his bris. I thought mothers are not allowed to attend their own child's bris. Is this a minhag?

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:43 am

I only heard chassidish don't go.

sequoia

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:45 am

Never heard of that.

flowerpower

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:46 am

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

I only heard chassidish don't go.

My siblings all go. Its optional.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:48 am

It's very emotional for the mother of the baby but went to all 6 of my sons.

avrahamama

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:48 am

Yep it's a minhag.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:51 am

It’s a chassidish thing not to go, outside of that it’s standard for mothers to be there.
I was at all of mine..

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:54 am

I wasn't at mine just cos I wasn't feeling well. Definitely planning to be at my next iyh.

miami85

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 9:56 am

I have 3 boys, I was at all of their brisses as close as I can get. They cried momentarily and that was it. I was at a friend's bris a few weeks after my b'chor's bris, and there was an older woman standing within earshot of the mother going "oh, the poor baby, oh the poor baby" and I was like "will you shut up!"--not that she heard me, I'm more polite than that, but it was not helpful.

The way my husband "conditioned" me was that "better now that they don't remember it, then when they are older".

My eldest needed his tonsils removed at 18 months. Of course he was a wreck afterwards but it was for his own good and now that he's older he doesn't remember it.

The time that the baby cries during his bris is an eis ratzon, use that time to daven.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:02 am

I have never heard of a mother not being at her son's bris.

Elfrida

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:12 am

Could be left over from when women weren't expected to get up for at least ten days after giving birth.

avrahamama

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:16 am

miami85 wrote:

So I heard the source of that minhag is so that the mother doesn't cry for the bris to stop and also because her tefillot are most powerful at that moment and she should be davening for mashiach but that naturally she would be more concerned for her baby instead.

amother

Copper

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:18 am

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

I only heard chassidish don't go.

It's chassidish minhag not to go but many chassidim do go. I really wanted to go but people told me I'll regret it. I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

amother

Amber

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:20 am

avrahamama wrote:

I hear. Wow. Makes sense.
Total truthful to my experiences.
Never entered my mind not to go. Even for the added time of being apart as the babies traveled to shul.
Am I the only one who nursed the baby after to comfort him?

SYA

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:23 am

Chabad women go to their sons bris.

avrahamama

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:33 am

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

Apparently the baby is brought straight home to nurse. Or the mommy is just in another room.

amother

Copper

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:39 am

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

I send along a bottle but it was never needed. The baby fell asleep with his paci dipped into the wine.
But the baby is brought right home to the mother or if it's in a hall, the mom is in the car or in a different room.

miami85

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:42 am

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

I usually gave a bottle so I could hear my husband speak. Our brises so far were not far from our home we usually walked.

professor

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:45 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

It's chassidish minhag not to go but many chassidim do go. I really wanted to go but people told me I'll regret it. I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

It's true they discourage it but most do go. I couldn't imagine parting from my baby for so long! And while he's having such an important, well, surgery.

avrahamama

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 10:48 am

professor wrote:

It's true they discourage it but most do go. I couldn't imagine parting from my baby for so long! And while he's having such an important, well, surgery.

The mohel we use always blesses the baby that it should be the last surgery he ever needs

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