S/o sons bris | Imamother

PeanutMama

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:11 am

Lol I’m the one who said that. 😂🙈

Some lady friends tried to convince me not to go since I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I WANTED to be there, to see my first child join klal yisroel as a baby and not as an adult like my husband and I did. It was a huge moment I did not want to miss or would I never ever want to miss with my future boys.

Idk I guess as a convert everything hits different. 😅

Some women don’t go some women do.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:42 am

Most Chassidishe women do not go, still a remnant of the old times when you didn't leave the house so soon.
If the baby's bris is postponed, they do go.

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:43 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

That’s incredibly beautiful. Thank You for sharing this perspective. You’re right there are many things FFB take for granted. (Though BH I attended my sons Bris too!)

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:46 am

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

Most Chassidishe women do not go, still a remnant of the old times when you didn't leave the house so soon.
If the baby's bris is postponed, they do go.

This is not a remnant of old times. Most women don't leave the house for 6 weeks even today.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is not a remnant of old times. Most women don't leave the house for 6 weeks even today.

Lol. Not everyone has this luxury.

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:51 am

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Lol. Not everyone has this luxury.

What do you mean?

Elfrida

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is not a remnant of old times. Most women don't leave the house for 6 weeks even today.

In some communities they probably don't. And in other communities they are picking up the children from gan and going shopping within a few days. I know one woman who left her two day old baby with a friend while she went to shul for her brothers Bar Mitzvah. In countries without paid maternity leave, some women are even back at work before six weeks are up. It's hard to generalize with such a diverse community.

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is not a remnant of old times. Most women don't leave the house for 6 weeks even today.

Do you mean most chassidish women?

(Who takes the baby to their doctors appointments? The father?)

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:55 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What do you mean?

If the mother is out of commission for 6 weeks that means she has a supportive network (of either family/friends/husband, and/or paid help or conveniences) that allow her to do so. That support is clearly a privilege that not all women have

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 11:56 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

Do you mean most chassidish women?

(Who takes the baby to their doctors appointments? The father?)

To go to a Dr is different but a baby only needs one apt in 6 weeks usually.

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 12:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To go to a Dr is different but a baby only needs one apt in 6 weeks usually.

Not in my experience. My pediatrician sees babies the week they come home from
The hospital (usually day 3-5 of life) and the. At 4 weeks. (My 35 week preemie was seen at least 4 times before 6 weeks for weight checks)

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 1:12 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

A woman is not usually out of commission for 6 weeks. Not going to work, staying home, ordering groceries in is not called out of commission.

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 1:13 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

So it depends but for all of these things a mother would still attend the apt.

dancingqueen

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 1:15 pm

[quote="amother [ Amber ]"]I hear. Wow. Makes sense.
Total truthful to my experiences.
Never entered my mind not to go. Even for the added time of being apart as the babies traveled to shul.
Am I the only one who nursed the baby after to comfort him?[/quote]

I think most mothers do, as the mohel told me right after, “he needs his mommy now.” He nursed and then calmed down and fell asleep.

flowerpower

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is not a remnant of old times. Most women don't leave the house for 6 weeks even today.

No way!!! Most leave well before that!!! I’d say at around ten days old many are out already or even less.

amother

Amber

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:09 pm

[quote="dancingqueen"]

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

I hear. Wow. Makes sense.
Total truthful to my experiences.
Never entered my mind not to go. Even for the added time of being apart as the babies traveled to shul.
Am I the only one who nursed the baby after to comfort him?[/quote]

I think most mothers do, as the mohel told me right after, “he needs his mommy now.” He nursed and then calmed down and fell asleep.

That was kinda my point. Doesn’t the baby need the mother immediately ? Even if its not far, those traveling minutes count for an infant in pain

Raisin

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:11 pm

IIRC I was told better to be in another room. But you bet I was there.

Also, some of our brissim were in our home. So I didn't need to go out.

hodeez

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:18 pm

I was by all of my sons' britim, and plan to be at every one I have iyh! I was a wreck the first time around, crying and davening while I nursed him. The second and third time I knew what to expect and was able to see the beauty of the mitzvah we had just fulfilled.

amother

Gold

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A woman is not usually out of commission for 6 weeks. Not going to work, staying home, ordering groceries in is not called out of commission.

Speaking to the privilege mentioned above; there are lots of women who live in areas without grocery delivery, who have to take children to/from school or bus stops, who don’t have other people to do this for them. If you have it, that’s a privilege

Crookshanks

Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:50 pm

I don't have any Chassidish family and I never heard of not attending your son's bris. So interesting!