Help! Buffet for 150!

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 9:15 am

Raisin wrote:

Mine was inside but otherwise pretty similar. I think I hired help to clean up and serve but honestly can't remember. I must have. probably 3 or 4 people. My family all helped with the preps and setup. I did have the advantage of lots of toilets, and a commercial oven to heat up the food.

Help to clean up is important. Setting up is fun, but not so much cleaning lol.

You had 150 people eating and much more for desert? Wow. What's the size of your dining room?

Raisin

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 9:23 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

You had 150 people eating and much more for desert? Wow. What's the size of your dining room?

No in a hall. But I catered myself.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 9:35 am

Raisin wrote:

No in a hall. But I catered myself.

Ok. got it. which means you had a commercial kitchen rest rooms and parking off your shoulders b"h.

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 9:45 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Ok. got it. which means you had a commercial kitchen rest rooms and parking off your shoulders b"h.

Right.

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 9:49 am

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

3 bathrooms is not sufficient for 150 people-- 50 people waiting on line at a time while one is likely out of commission is not a good situation. I think renting Porta potties is necessary for such a crowd. Imo. Any big outdoor event I have been to made sure to have more facilities available. Maybe Andrea Levy can weigh in.

I’m not sure about this but no doubt she can call her city and ask them. I think those sorts of things are municipal.

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 9:52 am

DVOM wrote:

Good morning!

Did I sound casual? I was aiming for polite. I can assure you that I take my hostessing duties very seriously, that we very much strive for any guest visiting our home to come away feeling valued and cared for.

I am sure that hosting a party of this size at home and choosing to forgo a caterer or party planner will come with many challenges that I am not anticipating, which is why I really appreciate your taking the time to respond to my posts, but please don't insult my guests. These FRUM and non frum guests are not particularly messy (though I am expecting a large mess, commiserate with the large crowd!) and are certainly not inconsiderate. These people are my family and friends and neighbors. They are wonderfully helpful, kind, and thoughtful. They are not spoiled babies who will harass me or the staff I've hired. They will not demand service, now! I am not counting on their help (they are my guests, after all!) but if past experiences are anything to go by, I believe they will be helpful and gracious.

That having been said:

We have three available bathrooms in our home. There will be signs pointing them out for those who don't know where they are, but as I mentioned, most of our guests have been in our home frequently, and will know where to find them. I will be stocking them with towels and toiletries. I imagine that if they stuff up, my husband, father or many brothers/brothers in law will man the plunger.

We are setting up a washing station outside to minimize foot traffic in the house.

The staff is there to help us set the tables and buffet, replenish it as needed from prepared, already set up and warmed up trays in our kitchen, and clear up after guests. There will be no on the spot cooking. The buffet will be self service.

My husband and I will be in charge, and will be working alongside our staff members. We like hosting parties. This is what you do (did?) for work; this is what we do for fun. We enjoy the hard work and creativity that goes into it. I love designing and setting up a beautiful table. I love cooking and baking and arranging flowers and centerpieces. My husband, kids assorted neighbors and I will be hanging hundreds of fairy lights and lanterns and yards and yards of sparkly blue fringe bunting and pom pom garlands, and will enjoy every minute of it. I love the energy and busyness of party day. It will perhaps not be as formal, fancy, smooth, sophisticated or hiccup-free as a perfessionally catered event, but we're ok with that. I can see it not just ending well, but ending fabulously!

Enjoy then. We started our catering career because we loved it. We would still do our own Simcha’s if we could get the infrastructure at the time needed.

Also, I’m sure that none of YOUR guest are never inconsiderate, so forgive me if you thought I was accusing them. Unfortunately my own experience which is enormous days that the odds of these things happening are not small any time you get a sizeable group together, especially including frum people. Do you know in my restaurant we had diapers flushed down the toilet DAILY? Plastic bags, a maid of the mist poncho. Don’t even get me started about menstrual blood dripped all over, poop in places that you’d never expect. I’m sorry if I expect the worst. Just letting you know my experience.

Can you imagine our plumbing bill?

amother

Indigo

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 10:07 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Remember that one top of the mazel tovs your son will get, you and Dh will be in the center the whole evening. You will receive guests in a non stop stream. There is no way you can split yourself into helping out what's going on in the kitchen,having an eye on what's going on at the yard AND greeting all your guests properly. You need a professional manager to deal with it and who is in charge of the waiters.

I agree, hire a manager! My relative catered herself and said the manager made all the difference.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 11:43 am

Other things: gifts and/or checks will need a safe place to be put.
Will people come with coats and hats? Then you will need coat racks and some solution for the hats. You don't want problems with soiled guest clothes and dry cleaning bills.
Ice for beverages prepared in advance. Serving wine or beer? Cork screw's needed and bottle openers needed too.
Is the bar mitzvah in the evening? You will need a solution for proper lighting.
Do you have an insurance covering personal injuries for your guests?

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 1:36 pm

One more question: do you anticipate dinner guests to stay till the end while dessert guests will start to arrive? Will you have space for that? (granted no strollers or buggies coming)

DVOM

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 1:44 pm

So it seems the consensus of the professionals is 'leave it to the professionals!' Hire either a manager, a party planner or a caterer (or all three) and lots more professional wait staff.

You may all be right. I'll have to come back on this thread in a month and tell you if my 'recipe for disaster' was in fact a disaster. I really don't think it's going to flop. I think we're going to pull it off. But maybe not. I am going to try though!

I think we will hire one more waiter. I called the waiter company and told them that I think I need one more; he said he didn't think so considering that I'm not plating any dishes and I am having a self-service buffet but said I could get back to him within a week of the party and let him know. You guys have made me nervous ('good thing, too!' some of you are saying!) so I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it.

I also called a restaurant that we like and priced pans of different kinds of pasta that they can prepare and deliver the day of the party; They also said I don't need to order until the week of, so If I see that I'm getting overwhelmed, I can also call it quits and order whatever I don't want to make.

The gamach we were using does not have enough tables and chairs for us. We've booked with a rental who will be coming to set them up the morning of the party and take them away the day after.

Over the past 30 something hours, I've gotten more and more responses as people are getting their invitations. I've gotten lots and lots of yeses, but also lots and lots of offers to help. If I want it, I will have a small army of setter-uppers, errand runners, and lots of cooks. I really think we're going to do Ok!

To hash out some other concerns:

Regarding bathrooms: Our backup bad-weather indoor hall (the basement of our shul) has fewer bathrooms than we do (2). Hopefully, there will not be 50 people all needing the bathroom at the same time, but I guess it's possible, and in that case, people will need to wait. The thought of porta potties yuks me out, big time, but I'm going to look into it. I think we'll manage with just the three.

Regarding nursing infants in diapers: By my count, there will be two. I imagine their moms, (my sisters) will either retreat to my room or one of our other bedrooms, the playroom or office to take care of business. I don't think it will be an issue.

Regarding parking: We live in a rural area with plenty of on-the-street parking. It is typical in our community for engagement parties and the like to happen in private homes. People park around the corner, or down the block, and walk. Again, not really thinking this will be an issue. A nice chunk of guests, the bar mitzvah boys friends, will be dropped off by their moms or dads, so no parking for them. A solid 75 guests (mine and my husband's family) will be coming in about 10 cars; this could easily fit around our almost-one-acre corner lot alone. Many of our guests are our neighbors, and will in all likelihood walk.

Regarding coats and hats: We do have a coat rack, which we will set up, but I don't see it being used much. We are wearing light sweatshirts here in Jersy in the evenings. I don't know if even that much will be needed in a month from now. By hats, I'm assuming you mean black hats; it's far too warm for winter hats. We are not really a black-hat-wearing family, though I imagine there will be a few. What I've seen at most events is men leaving them on, or placing them on the table next to them. I'm open to other ideas though! Any suggestions? A few old-fashioned hat stands would be cool if I could get my hands on some.

Regarding there being enough table space: We have a small house and a big property. Problem is that much of it is wooded and slopes. My husband and I paced around last night with a tape measure. We have ample room for buffet tables and 14 ten-person round tables in the L-shaped area to the front and left of our house. If we want to set up more, we'll have to put them around the back, on the paved back patio. What do you all think? We're expecting 150, but as many pointed out, not all will come at the same time. Set for 140? Set for more, using our backyard area?

Regarding insurance in the case of guest injury: No, we don't have any. Do we need? Do most people hosting at-home parties get this type of insurance? I've hosted many many many parties, get together, weekends at my home and never done this before.

Regarding not being able to trust that the family and friends offering help will not actually come through with the help offered: This has never happened to me before, though I could certainly see it happening. People are human and forgetful. Emergencies happen. I suppose if this happened to me, I'd need to go with store-bought options or do without that item.

Regarding space to warm stuff up: Our plan is to have all extra food on warmers set up either in the kitchen or the garage so they can be quickly switched out when pans of food empty out. This has worked well for us in the past. Any other suggestions?

Regarding extra storage and kitchen space: Yes, I have easy access to my neighbor's kitchen/food storage area and the combination code to her garage so I can get in and out without disturbing her. I will have all the food set up in my house (on warmers, see above) before the actual party, but will have plenty of space for storage in the weeks leading up to it.

Regarding where to keep cash or presents: I would guess this is a problem no matter where you host a party. Where do people who make a bar mitzvah in a hall keep these things? I would guess we'd put gifts up in my husband's office, and checks will go in his pocket. Or does it make sense to designate one of our brothers or sisters as the money holder, so we aren't hassled with it?

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 1:47 pm

[quote="amother [ Indigo ]"]150 people aren’t coming to your entire bar mitzvah. Many of them will pop in and leave.

There are plenty of gemachs so you can borrow from multiple if you’d like. It’s definitely more work than renting.

I think you should set things up in whatever way will work. If it means wrapping around the house then do it.[/quote
OP says 150 dinner guests said yes and many more for desert.

DVOM

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 1:50 pm

Regarding lighting: It should be light until the very end of the party. At that point, from prior experience, the fairy lights are usually enough to light the yard nicely, but we are also going to put up chandeliers in the tents because dim 'romantic' lighting gives me a headache.

Regarding drinks: We will have lots of ice and drinks set up on a drinks table.

Regarding garbage: I hadn't thought about it at all! Very smart to put many garbage cans in strategic places around the yard, and make sure to have plenty of garbage bags.

Rachel Shira

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 1:52 pm

I have no advice but am now very invested in your party! Please keep us posted about how it all goes!

DVOM

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 1:58 pm

Getting back to the menu, my biggest concern:

Here is what we've settled on:

chips and crudites and dips on the tables.

2 soups, many types of bread (my brother is an expert baker and will be making me sourdough loaves. A neighbor is making garlic bread. I will buy bagels, breadsticks, and rolls), spreads such as cream cheese, butter, cheese, tuna, avocado, and a salad bar (friends are chopping veggies for me and I got lots of suggestions for salad add-ins that need no prep at all.)

Salmon, roasted veggies, potatoes, all parve. Penne vodka, mac and cheese. Mini pizzas. Pancakes.

Dessert will be the three hot dishes, whatever other baked goods me and my boys end up making and family and friends end up sending over, and the ice cream truck.

Suggestions?

Last edited by DVOM on Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:00 pm

Op how many dinner invitations did you send out? How many dessert inv?
Is 150 people including kids?

DVOM

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:01 pm

andrea levy wrote:

Sounds awful. Guests who treated my house that way would in all likelihood not be invited back. I guess you don't have that luxury in a restaurant.

Seems like you've found frum people to be particularly inconsiderate and disrespectful. That's very sad.

Crookshanks

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:02 pm

DVOM wrote:

Wow!
DVOM, it sounds gorgeous and delicious! I want pictures after!

DVOM

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:03 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Op how many dinner invitations did you send out? How many dessert inv?
Is 150 people including kids?

Yup, about half will be kids: the Bar mitzvah boys friends (who honestly really eat like adults in terms of quantity, if not more), and lots of nieces and nephews and family friends.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:06 pm

DVOM wrote:

It sounds amazing!!

I can't wait to hear all about it. If I can think of suggestions, I'll post but it all sounds great. I love the idea of the ice cream truck! If its soft whippy ice cream you'll get adults there too. Yum!

DVOM

Mon, Apr 19 2021, 2:06 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

I have no advice but am now very invested in your party! Please keep us posted about how it all goes!

As am I! Will do!

It's going to be interesting to see if we can pull it off. I don't want the balance to tip from fun to panic and chaos, which is how I felt yesterday morning. My main goal is not to lose the joy and pleasure and family-project feeling; if I feel myself getting frustrated and annoyed and snappy, it will be time to start ordering more food and staff. But I think we're going to make it!