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What should my 3 year old do while I put baby to sleep
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:06 am
I have an almost 3 year old and a 4 month old. Most days dh is home to put 3 year old to sleep while I handle the 4 month old. On Shabbos dh is at shul during the baby’s bedtime so I don’t have anyone to watch 3 year old. The baby takes a good half hour-45 minutes to put to sleep and needs to be done in a quiet dark room so the toddler can’t be there. He doesn’t usually play nicely on his own and will just follow me upstairs when I go up. How do I get him to play nicely on his own for so long? What should I do? There’s no special toy that would incentivize him to stay and play alone for that long.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:30 am
Not safe to leave your toddler by himself. Also not good for the baby to only be able to sleep in a quiet dark room with an extended bedtime routine. Feed the baby on the couch with your toddler in the living room. Kiss baby. Put in crib. Go downstairs with toddler. The end. If baby doesn’t settle down and go to sleep take the baby out and wait till dh is home.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:32 am
Ooc why does it take so long to put baby to sleep? Change clothes, change diaper, feed, maybe a song or a book? What takes an hour?
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lucky14




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:33 am
Either do what amother Mauve said or wait for husband to get home to put baby to sleep.

Last edited by lucky14 on Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:41 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:36 am
Sleeping in a lit room even slightly lit is not good for eyesight
There are many studies
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mom!




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:38 am
Can you put the toddler to sleep first? Or at least in bed with books? Then you can keep peeking in...
Hatzlacha!
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Rachel Shira




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:42 am
It’s a hard stage. My babies at 4 months old also take a long time to go to and stay asleep (I assume you’re nursing or rocking the baby). I sleep train early because it’s not sustainable with other small kids especially.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:44 am
Baby has reflux so his feed takes a long time. Also he drinks a lot better when he’s half asleep which will only happens in a dark room. He also gets impossible when he’s tired so I can’t pull it out. His body clock tells him it’s bedtime every day at the same time. Toddler doesn’t go to sleep till later, especially on Friday night.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:46 am
Rachel Shira wrote:
It’s a hard stage. My babies at 4 months old also take a long time to go to and stay asleep (I assume you’re nursing or rocking the baby). I sleep train early because it’s not sustainable with other small kids especially.


Neither. He used to be impossible, now it’s easier but feeding him is not for the faint hearted.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 11:56 am
Then dh should daven at home.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:03 pm
I always put my toddler to sleep before the baby. Toddlers need to have memorable quality time with you for a few minutes at bedtime. Let the baby wait. Don’t be so rigid on the baby’s schedule . I have a few kids and baby always goes in after the bigger kids. Baby naps during the day. He won’t be sleep deprived.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:06 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I always put my toddler to sleep before the baby. Toddlers need to have memorable quality time with you for a few minutes at bedtime. Let the baby wait. Don’t be so rigid on the baby’s schedule . I have a few kids and baby always goes in after the bigger kids. Baby naps during the day. He won’t be sleep deprived.


I’m rigid because I don’t want to torture my 4 month old by making him stay up longer than his body wants him to?

My toddler gets lot of quality time, before and during his bedtime, don’t worry.
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:09 pm
You can’t leave a toddler unsupervised for 45 minutes or even 10 minutes
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amother




Purple
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:10 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’m rigid because I don’t want to torture my 4 month old by making him stay up longer than his body wants him to?

My toddler gets lot of quality time, before and during his bedtime, don’t worry.


Sometimes, yes. Sometimes not.

In your case, if this only happens on Friday nights, you can try to get a girl in to play with him or take him out. For that age, you don't need a high schooler- a fifth or sixth grade girl who likes kids could come in and keep him occupied. Ad as she grows up, you have a mother's helper and then a babysitter.
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amother




Blush
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:12 pm
Three year old should not be entertaining himself for 45 minutes even in a crib. If you truly cannot nurse with him in the room you just need to find another solution.
Someone else to watch 3 year old. Sleep train baby. Adjust schedules. The current situation cannot work.
Or you can stick the 3 year old in front of a dvd every night but I personally don’t recommend that
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:16 pm
Yeah if you aren't able to push of the baby's bedtime then really it's either try to find someone to come to your house to play with toddler or husband daven at home for now on Friday nights.

What time does baby go to sleep? What time does toddler go to sleep? Maybe you can adjust toddler's bedtime if it's only a small difference.

It doesn't sound like there is another ideal solution given the circumstances.

I understand being a mom of a baby that doesn't fall asleep easily. And at 4 months I felt it was too young to do cry it out. If you have the money you can pay for a sleep consultant but that wasn't an option for me. So OP I get it.
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amother




Babypink
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:23 pm
My babies were still taking a late nap at that age so their bedtimes were after the toddlers. For naps I do leave my little one that age alone for 10ish minutes while I put baby down. When it's not shabbat it's easier since I can have him facetime with grandma, color, or watch a short video. Otherwise maybe settle with some books? An hour is a long time though. Can you nurse/rock with toddler in the room and then bring baby to bed so you're not gone long?
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:26 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
You can’t leave a toddler unsupervised for 45 minutes or even 10 minutes


I know which is why I was looking for ideas...
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silverlining3




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:34 pm
Try your baby to have a later nap on Friday so he/she can pull a bit longer, atleast till your husband comes home..

Or feed on the couch and put your baby in carriage, until your husband comes home.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:37 pm
It’s not the falling asleep that’s the issue. It’s the feeding. He eats best when he’s half asleep and I need to take him into a quiet room to get there. He’s easily distracted. Feeding my babies with reflux has been torturous until they grow out of it.

Never mind, I’m kinda feeling attacked and judged here.
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