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What should my 3 year old do while I put baby to sleep
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silverlining3




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:40 pm
If your 3 year old has a late bedtime Friday night, that's probably because he has a nap, right? So perhaps stop his nap and let him/her have regular bedtime.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:52 pm
I have a 2 YO and a baby, toddler goes to sleep first. A 4 month old doesn't need to have a schedule. Hatzlacha!
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amother




Amber
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 12:57 pm
I have kids the same age. I posted here because it was winter and Dh needed to go to mincha every day at that time when both 3 yo and baby needed to go to sleep.
Eventually we figured it out. Sometimes I'd bring baby in to put my 3 yo to sleep- I would read to both of them then turn on uncle moishy and put baby to sleep then check on my 3 yo. It didn't take 45 minutes for my baby so that's why it worked. And I guess you can't do uncle moishy on shabbos...
It's very very hard Sad
Can your 3 yo go to Shul with Dh?
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amother




Cyan
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:14 pm
If your toddler is going to be awake anyway, have your husband take him with him to shul. It will both let you put the baby to bed and be such a special bonding time for the older one.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:17 pm
Can you feed with the toddler in the room with you? Start him off with 'shabbos party' snacks to occupy him for a bit, then a toy or books.
Is there a safe space or room you can put the toddler in? Is the toddler in a crib still? I used to have a stair gate on the door to my toddler's room and I knew they were safe in their room.
Hatzlocha, it sounds difficult. But it will pass!
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amother




Mint
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:18 pm
OP. I totally get what you mean. My babies also have reflux, and they get most of their nutrition at night, when they are not fully awake. B"h it gets easyer every month. I think your only solution is having someone watch the toddler or maybe try to put baby in a carriage with the hood down and be very quiet.
If you don't nurse, you can try propping the bottle and leave baby in a quiet corner whithin earshot and check every few minutes.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:41 pm
You have no choice
You have to put the 3 year old to sleep first
Don’t worry if baby goes to bed 25 minutes later
You can even put in the 3 year old 15 minutes earlier
Both of their bedtimes doesn’t have to be exactly to the minute each night
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:46 pm
Oy sounds hard, no advice.
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post Fri, Apr 23 2021, 1:53 pm
I had a baby like that. He needed to sleep when he needed to sleep and no nap or anything would help. So I get your schedule dilemma.

Can you get a special shabbos toy that can only come out baby's bedtime? Maybe have him play in the hallway outside the room you are in so you can keep an eye on him.

The idea of having a 9-10 year old kid to come play with him for the hour is also a good idea.

Now that shabbos is getting late there is regular shabbos and early shabbos. Can your husband switch to whichever one you are not doing?
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motherfrmisrael




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, May 01 2021, 4:23 pm
Following!

If a baby is on a good schedule, you can't just push off their nap for those who suggested doing that. I always sleep train my babies but there are times that it takes longer, especially at 4 months with the 4 month sleep regression, and balancing that with a toddler is impossible.

OP - I don't have any advise, but you should know that it will pass. 4 month sleep is the hardest but it will get easier. and toddler will also get older soon and more used to it. Hugs!
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Sat, May 01 2021, 10:36 pm
Crying a bit reading this cuz irl I seem to be the only one struggling so much day to day.

I have a high strung baby and toddler. They need their schedules and need dark, noise machine etc. my 3 year old is Bh sleep trained for a long time ( never worked before 1 year tho) but not when he’s sick and it’s been a few weeks in a row now and I feel like I’m losing me mind...

No advice. My husband stays home and I feel like a dysfunctional loser:/
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amother




Rose
 

Post Sat, May 01 2021, 11:44 pm
amother [ Cyan ] wrote:
If your toddler is going to be awake anyway, have your husband take him with him to shul. It will both let you put the baby to bed and be such a special bonding time for the older one.


Good idea.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, May 01 2021, 11:51 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Good idea.


He’s too little. Dh won’t take him because he thinks he’ll be disruptive.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, May 01 2021, 11:52 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
Crying a bit reading this cuz irl I seem to be the only one struggling so much day to day.

I have a high strung baby and toddler. They need their schedules and need dark, noise machine etc. my 3 year old is Bh sleep trained for a long time ( never worked before 1 year tho) but not when he’s sick and it’s been a few weeks in a row now and I feel like I’m losing me mind...

No advice. My husband stays home and I feel like a dysfunctional loser:/


You’re not dysfunctional. I rely on my dh a lot too. Mothering is HARD.
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WhatFor




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 02 2021, 12:37 am
Have you asked DH to accommodate this schedule? Can he find an earlier or later minyan? Point out that Shabbat times change so within a few weeks he should be able to resume his regularly scheduled programming, it's just a temporary thing.

I'm of the opinion that adults can usually handle temporary changes better than infants.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Sun, May 02 2021, 2:20 am
Op, you get my respect. You weren't feeling good about this thread on Friday and managed to switch yourself onto the high-road highway, coming back to check for other replies, and then even reaching out with encouragement to a distressed poster! You can consider yourself a leader too in starting a thread that interested so many readers...in the same vein, and importantly to comment on your hurt remarks of Friday: as you might have realized, asking an opinion (and your original post is indeed phrased as a question, vs let's say as a rant) to MANY listeners (vs if you'd ask 2-3 specially-chosen people individually) can get you as questioner feeling overwhelmed with so many answers, inevitability with SOME from personality types that naturally sound more condescending. No hurt is intended, and therefore none should be taken. You sound like you already understood that dynamic on your own... and your two bla"h babies must be adorable! Hatzlacha on it all, and enjoy the nachas!
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Sun, May 02 2021, 2:31 am
Sapphire here adding to previous comment: when we amazing- while- imperfect human beings can remember to view life positively (I myself need a lot of reminding in that area!), it's also quite fantastic how people have so many DIFFERENT perspectives & therefore also practical ideas! Indeed that's EXACTLY 1 of the benefits of this site!...Again, thank YOU OP for starting this all Wink
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amother




Gold
 

Post Sun, May 02 2021, 2:52 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:


Never mind, I’m kinda feeling attacked and judged here.


Ye I’m feeling sorry for you about that. People don’t seem to realise how they can come across as very harsh and it’s upsetting.

I’m the same- dark and quiet for bedtime feeding even without reflux bH. It teaches them nighttime I find and works well for me. I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestion other than maybe getting a family member to come and play with toddler during that time?

Good luck!
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Teomima




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 02 2021, 3:56 am
Either put toddler to sleep first (at that stage I put the toddler to sleep in my bed then moved them later because they shared bedrooms) or put baby in a baby carrier. My infants spent so much time in a nice cozy wrap carrier. Total lifesaver.
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lamplighter




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, May 02 2021, 8:51 am
Good for u for trying to figure this out.

Can your husband take the 3yr old to shul if he's up anyway?
Can you skip the 3 yr olds nap on Friday and put him to bed earlier ie before the baby?
Can a young neighbor come to play with the 3 yr old for a few dollars?
I'm a firm believer in getting advice from ones husband because they know the familys dynamic best. What does be think?
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