Do bridesmaids march down by frum Jewish weddings?

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:08 am

I wasn't sure which topic to put this under so I put it here... My Dd was asked by a close friend to be a bridesmaid. (Something not commonly done in our circles...) Is it expected of her to be marching down the aisle? She doesn't want to ask her friend because she's scared that her friend will think she WANTS to march down which will make things worse... I'm curious what your initial thought would be.

amother

Beige

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:09 am

I've never seen it. My dad's side is chassidish and mom's is MO, so I've been to all types of weddings.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:12 am

Why don't you just call this girl's mother?

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:15 am

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Why don't you just call this girl's mother?

My Dd would be mortified if I did that... TMI

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:18 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My Dd would be mortified if I did that... TMI

Then she needs to figure how to talk to her friend herself....

paperflowers

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:24 am

She’s probably not expected to walk down. But she should ask her friend what being a bridesmaid does entail. To some brides it just means their friends wear long, while others give their bridesmaids jobs to help out with.

Ellie7

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:24 am

I think in general if you’re asked to be a bridesmaid, it’s expected that you walk down the aisle.

ETA: I’ve done so twice.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 12:30 am

MO.
I have seen both. Some have friends walk down the aisle. Some don’t but have friends wear long gowns, come early for pictures, stand around the chair during the Kabbalat panim and badekin and/or have tasks.

She, not you, needs to ask.
Do not ask if she is walking down, ask what being a bridesmaid entails and what does she do.

JoyInTheMorning

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 6:55 am

I'm MO. Back in the day, I was bridesmaid several times and I walked down each time.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 7:59 am

rw. neices up to anout 10. nephew's up to 6. no bo non family member. however the bridesmaide a come later for dancing and and given jobs. they know what kallah wants.

amother

Blush

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:01 am

I was bridesmaid for a few friends and it was not even a question to walk down... only fam walked down

essie14

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:05 am

I've seen it in MO weddings and more to the right as well, even yeshivish.

Chayalle

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:24 am

I have relatives who are MO and yes, had bridesmaids walk down the aisle.

In my yeshivish circles, I've seen it once in a while, usually more siblings of the Chassan/Kallah. In my family, no one over Bas Mitzva would, though. (my little DD walked down by my sister's wedding. She was 6. more of a flower girl.)

Elderly grandparents not counted, of course. They walk down the aisle, regardless of age.

watergirl

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 8:34 am

I've been a bridesmaid in a few weddings, MO and JPF and yes I walked down. I've also attended many MO and JPF weddings where the bridesmaids walked down.

PinkFridge

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:08 am

No big deal if the answer is yes. It's not like she's doing any kind of transgression.
But she needs to ask her friend what her friend has in mind. "Thanks! I'm honored. What does this mean to you? Do I have to get a certain gown/wear a certain color? Be stand in sister [if friend doesn't have any]? Etc?" That's it.

essie14

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:15 am

PinkFridge wrote:

Exactly. She should just ask what the friend had in mind.

amother

Mauve

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:28 am

Some do and some don’t
I’ve seen where ALL the girls walk down together in a 2x2 row
I’ve seen where 2 girls walk down together
If she’s not comfortable doing this she should speak to her friend now, so she could find someone else.

4g01o

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 9:34 am

I voted yes but now I realise that you mean an older girl. I thought you meant flower girls. They often lead the kalla, it's adorable. Not the done thing for older girls.

Crookshanks

Mon, Apr 26 2021, 10:34 am

I voted no of course not. But that's where I live. Could be it's different by you.